Erin

[andrewducker]

Things slowly calming down with Erin. We had a long talk on the way home from town (I met her after her haircut) and she agreed that we shouldn't be together. She told me that she feels much calmer and less stressed when we're apart. I should warn all of you that I'm a terrible boyfriend in some ways.

In one of the later (not as good) Heinlein novels, someone says that if you want to be friends with Lazarus Long you have to stand up to him. He'll push you until you push back and show you've got a spine. I can be like that with girlfriends - I push and push because I want them to be perfect. I want to help them to be all they can be. And that's not good for a relaxed long-term relationship. I need someone who can tell me to fuck off once in a while. Erin _did_ tell me to fuck off once in a while, but I still wore her down until she resented me and I couldn't cope with the walls that she had to build up in order to cope with me.

I feel very bad about certain aspects of the relationship, but also very happy that I was able to give her the support and help I did. And I enjoyed a lot of the relationship a lot.

Someday I hope to have a relationship that's not dysfunctional.

Maybe when I'm dead.

Comments

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

The problem is, of course that women are crazy. (except me, naturally!).

Actually, the flipside problem is that men do not take women seriously - they seem to always always always deep down in their heart of hearts think/feel that they are in fact better at everything (except maybe things that don't much matter, or that you can do without).

Short of physically beating the shit out of them (the true basis of all human male social pecking order, try to deny, sidestep or improve via conscious though people might), I can't see what can be done about this.

I feel a bit like some weird transgender combo of both sets of bad points. I am a horrible girlfriend, that's for sure (good thing I'm a wife, really!)

[andrewducker]

Actually, the flipside problem is that men do not take women seriously - they seem to always always always deep down in their heart of hearts think/feel that they are in fact better at everything (except maybe things that don't much matter, or that you can do without).

Actually, I feel that I am better than _everyone_ at everything (except the things that don't much matter). Women just seem to take it more personally...

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

I take it then that you personally count the whole realm of athletic endeavour and say, style, as 'things that don't matter'. :-)

[andrewducker]

Certainly the whole of athletic endeavour.

And as for style, I'll take my t-shirt collection over yours any day of the week...