Friending Frenzy

[andrewducker]

Ok, I want to try and experiment. People intermittently post that LJ* is shrinking and the number of posts on their flist keeps dropping. So, let's see if we can huddle together for warmth a bit.

If you're not currently overwhelmed with posts and using 7 filters to keep them under control** then leave a comment underneath saying hi, and a little bit about yourself, and let's see if we can link some people together!

*And Dreamwidth is pretty small comparitively, so I know a fair number of people on there could do with meeting additional people too.
**Yes, I know. But I can't help it. I _like_ people.

Comments

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Hello, friends of Andrew :)

I'm Jack, aka CartesianDaemon, from Cambridge UK. I started following Andrew's journal from many of my friends who were following his links posts.

I have a permanent account on Dreamwidth, and all my posts are from there originally, but don't expect a complete exodus as long as some people still find it more convenient to stay on LJ.

I'm a software engineer, geeky, atheist, straight, male and in some ways poly, but I've many friends who are Jewish and LGBT.

I try to post about my life, but I think I'm put off that my friendslist is increasingly full of nearly-defuct journals, which I don't want to defriend yet, as they're still people who I'm happy to read if they want to, but the more people _might_ read something, the harder it is to post casual life updates without thinking through how it would loko to everyone.

Thus, most of posts end up being about something I've been musing about (society, religion, philosophy, etc, etc :)).

[erratio.livejournal.com]

"but the more people _might_ read something, the harder it is to post casual life updates without thinking through how it would loko to everyone."

Yeah, that describes me pretty well too. I'm glad that I can discuss the non-personal stuff with a bigger group of people than before, but it comes at the price of feeling more self-conscious about sharing my life.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Examining how I feel, I think the thing is that if I'm talking to half a dozen friends, its easy for me to say "Oh, hey, I was thinking about blah" or "guess what happened to me". Whereas if I'm talking to fifty people, then both I and they have an unspoken impression that what I say is appropriate for that group. Everyone waits for someone else to respond. If I say "oh, I just learned blah", it feels like it has to be a big deal that I'm telling people about it, and I feel silly if it's something most people know already or know-one cares about. If I post a one-line twitter-like update, I feel like I'm wasting people's time.

But I'm not sure what the best solution is. One way would be to purge my friendslist of everyone who doesn't read regularly, but I don't like cutting off people who _might_ say something. I basically want to trick myself and everyone else into _thinking_ I'm talking to six people, when actually everyone can still see it.

Maybe I should start by making a more restricted filter, to people who actually comment regularly, and then start writing posts there, and decide _after I've written something_ whether it can go public or not?

[andrewducker]

Or you could just post, and see what people's reactions are.

After all, this was basically a Tweet:
http://andrewducker.livejournal.com/2638262.html

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

But that's the thing. I can't. On balance I think impulsive content is a lot better than no content, and often better than deliberated content. But every time I try to post I get cold feet :) I'm not sure why.

I definitely try the "post a one-line update" thing, but only intermittently.

Thinking of it as an experiment may help: I'm not actually posting random stuff, I'm just seeing what would happen if I posted random stuff... And if it turns out interesting, so much the better :)

[andrewducker]

Good approach - fling stuff out there, see what gets the comments, and then refine your approach from there!

[erratio.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I should start by making a more restricted filter, to people who actually comment regularly, and then start writing posts there, and decide _after I've written something_ whether it can go public or not?"

*nods* That was my solution for a while, before the "not wasting people's time" thing kicked in even further. Now if I intend to write about my life I start by setting the post to private and then check afterward to see if it's potentially interesting to anyone other than me.

[andrewducker]

I've discovered that (a) most people are more interested than you might think, and frequently have helpful insights that you didn't expect and (b) are perfectly happy to hit the page-down button if you're posting poetry about your cats bowel movements and that's not Their Thing.

[erratio.livejournal.com]

It's something I know intellectually (after all, I'm perfectly happy to read other people's regular updates most of the time) but have trouble convincing myself of on a deeper level. And I get enough usefulness out of them that I would rather post privately than spend time agonising and end up posting less overall.

Anyway, after thinking about this I might try making every second or third future post public and see how that affects my feelings and quantity of posting.

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

My approach is to write what I feel like writing and assume anyone not interested will just skip past it. Admittedly most of my posts don't get very many comments but I like to de-clutter my head so I don't let that stop me.

I guess it depends what you want to use LJ for - if I want to chat to people I mostly do it in comments here or on a community I belong to. I'm *happy* to chat on my own LJ if people comment, but I'm also happy to use that as essentially a diary and chat elsewhere.

I happen to find most people's ordinary lives quite interesting so I don't feel bad about writing about mine - no-one is forced to rea it after all!

[artkouros.livejournal.com]

I see you're reading the new testament. I've been going through the OT for about the past year. Fun stuff.