Friending Frenzy

[andrewducker]

Ok, I want to try and experiment. People intermittently post that LJ* is shrinking and the number of posts on their flist keeps dropping. So, let's see if we can huddle together for warmth a bit.

If you're not currently overwhelmed with posts and using 7 filters to keep them under control** then leave a comment underneath saying hi, and a little bit about yourself, and let's see if we can link some people together!

*And Dreamwidth is pretty small comparitively, so I know a fair number of people on there could do with meeting additional people too.
**Yes, I know. But I can't help it. I _like_ people.

Comments

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Examining how I feel, I think the thing is that if I'm talking to half a dozen friends, its easy for me to say "Oh, hey, I was thinking about blah" or "guess what happened to me". Whereas if I'm talking to fifty people, then both I and they have an unspoken impression that what I say is appropriate for that group. Everyone waits for someone else to respond. If I say "oh, I just learned blah", it feels like it has to be a big deal that I'm telling people about it, and I feel silly if it's something most people know already or know-one cares about. If I post a one-line twitter-like update, I feel like I'm wasting people's time.

But I'm not sure what the best solution is. One way would be to purge my friendslist of everyone who doesn't read regularly, but I don't like cutting off people who _might_ say something. I basically want to trick myself and everyone else into _thinking_ I'm talking to six people, when actually everyone can still see it.

Maybe I should start by making a more restricted filter, to people who actually comment regularly, and then start writing posts there, and decide _after I've written something_ whether it can go public or not?

[andrewducker]

Or you could just post, and see what people's reactions are.

After all, this was basically a Tweet:
http://andrewducker.livejournal.com/2638262.html

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

But that's the thing. I can't. On balance I think impulsive content is a lot better than no content, and often better than deliberated content. But every time I try to post I get cold feet :) I'm not sure why.

I definitely try the "post a one-line update" thing, but only intermittently.

Thinking of it as an experiment may help: I'm not actually posting random stuff, I'm just seeing what would happen if I posted random stuff... And if it turns out interesting, so much the better :)

[andrewducker]

Good approach - fling stuff out there, see what gets the comments, and then refine your approach from there!

[erratio.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I should start by making a more restricted filter, to people who actually comment regularly, and then start writing posts there, and decide _after I've written something_ whether it can go public or not?"

*nods* That was my solution for a while, before the "not wasting people's time" thing kicked in even further. Now if I intend to write about my life I start by setting the post to private and then check afterward to see if it's potentially interesting to anyone other than me.

[andrewducker]

I've discovered that (a) most people are more interested than you might think, and frequently have helpful insights that you didn't expect and (b) are perfectly happy to hit the page-down button if you're posting poetry about your cats bowel movements and that's not Their Thing.

[erratio.livejournal.com]

It's something I know intellectually (after all, I'm perfectly happy to read other people's regular updates most of the time) but have trouble convincing myself of on a deeper level. And I get enough usefulness out of them that I would rather post privately than spend time agonising and end up posting less overall.

Anyway, after thinking about this I might try making every second or third future post public and see how that affects my feelings and quantity of posting.

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

My approach is to write what I feel like writing and assume anyone not interested will just skip past it. Admittedly most of my posts don't get very many comments but I like to de-clutter my head so I don't let that stop me.

I guess it depends what you want to use LJ for - if I want to chat to people I mostly do it in comments here or on a community I belong to. I'm *happy* to chat on my own LJ if people comment, but I'm also happy to use that as essentially a diary and chat elsewhere.

I happen to find most people's ordinary lives quite interesting so I don't feel bad about writing about mine - no-one is forced to rea it after all!