(no subject)

It's the experience. It's bound to be.

I mean, I can't think of another reason that I generally finish up the assignments at work 40 minutes ahead of the rest of the class, that I can spot where the talk is going next and ask the right questions, that when someone's code wasn't working today and the tutor couldn't spot the problem after ten minutes I managed to find the bug in less than 2. It must be the ten years of practical coding experience, there's no other explanation for my amazingly fantastic rockingness.

Either that or I'm an angel, sent down from coding heaven to teach people how to program.

I may be letting this go to my head. I'm sure once I'm into the job proper it'll all be much harder.

Bound to be.

Amen

People, I've noticed, have this tendency to believe that whatever they feel right now is the way that they've always felt and is the way that they always will feel.

If they love someone they think they've always at least had an inkling that there was something there and that of course they'll love them forever.

If they hate someone then the seeds of hate were planted long ago and the hate is an eternal flame that will never be quenched.

Personally I'm very aware of the fact that I'm as changable as, well, the climate, that my musical taste undergoes fairly large changes over approximately 5 year periods (not that I can't still sing along to most of it), I don't like my taste in novels from any longer than ten years ago (mostly, some books last), I disagree with most things I believed in back in the early-90s (of course, my beliefs now are as perfect as perfect can be) and that whatever I feel now, yesterday and tomorrow, it almost certainly won't be the same thing I feel in 5 years time.

Forever, to me, always seemed like such a long time. It seemed such a bizarre thing to say, "forever", like you don't have the self-knowledge to realise that emotions, thoughts, tastes, beliefs all waver, shrivel, flower, sparkle, fade and generally mutate on a constant basis.

I suppose I can understand it in some ways - I mean, I crave security just as much as your average person (with an error factor of 17%), so it'd be great to say "This is me, that is you, over there is them, here is the situation and it will be the same until the day we all die", but it just seems so incredibly naive to think that the wish could be real.