(no subject)

[andrewducker]

Sigh.

To elucidate  - by 'ever-cuddly' I mean 'someone I like cuddling a lot' not 'good grief, that person is fat'.

Why, exactly, people must take a compliment and turn it into an insult, I do not know, unless it's because society has trained them to take any kind of comment on their body and engage in extreme paranoia over it.

And no, this doesn't just apply to one person - it's applied to numerous people I know...

Comments

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

i'm actually remarkably good for a Brit at taking compliments. but cuddly in this culture means FAT. just as Rubensesque does. you need 2 get out more...

[stillcarl.livejournal.com]

No - fat means fat. Always assume people mean well unless you know for sure they don't. Unless you want them walking around on hot coals all the time...

[broin.livejournal.com]

My ex went into histrionics because I said I liked her. (and thus couldn't love her)

She also went into histrionics when I said she was 'great', once. (because great can only mean large)

It's a self-esteem issue. Some people can turn *anything* into an insult.

Re: cuddly

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

That's stunning; that someone could take cuddly == fat. That's even worse than "I look how that dress looks on you." turning into "What? You think I look ugly naked?"

Pbah!

[nickys.livejournal.com]

I blame the culture.

Even my kids (who are still in primary school, for heavens sake!) are getting the message that they should be looking for flaws every time they look in the mirror.


Want to join me in running a poster campaign on the issue?

[stillcarl.livejournal.com]

Right on cue, this article appeared on my friends' page today, (via Arts And Letters Daily), it pointing out there's a much wider range of healthy sizes than we're usually led to believe.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

Yes, and it's not just weight that's the issue.

Look at the amount of time and money people waste on non-medical cosmetic surgery, for example.
There's a whole industry out there working on telling people that there's something wrong with them so that they can be sold a product that will "fix" them.

[andrewducker]

I'm not sure a poster campaign would be that useful. Certainly not sure enough to put that amount of effort in.

I think you need a shift in perceptions so large that it'd have to be a governmental body behind it.

[gld199.livejournal.com]

It's a simple language issue. Yes "cuddly" means cuddle-able, but it is regularly used as a euphamism for fat.

It reminds me of the scene in When Harry Met Sally when Harry is trying to set Sally up with his best friend. He says that Sally has a good personality, and his friend says "but you said she was beautiful!" Because in the dating game saying someone has a good personality often explicitly means they're unattractive.

Next time tell her that you love to cuddle her. :)

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

To elucidate - by 'ever-cuddly' I mean 'someone I like cuddling a lot' not 'good grief, that person is fat'.

Well, yes. :-)

Cuddly, however, is a word indicative of the person referred to not being built like a stick insect. Or like Jennifer Aniston. My parents' lodger is starving to death of anorexia, and she is doubtless a lovely affectionate person, but she is absolutely not "cuddly".

Now you might think "Why on earth would anyone not want to be told that they do not look like a concentration camp survivor?"

But unfortunately, too many women have absorbed the self-hating dictum "You can never be too rich or too thin."

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Yep, it's a female culture thing. Witness green_amber's poll, where I answered honestly. Fat is such a loaded word these days that people tend to resort to euphemisms. Cuddly is just one such euphemism.

but it's culture's whole attitude to flab that's questionable, really ...