Other Plans

[andrewducker]

I'm now back at work. I didn't get through more than a small fraction of what I wanted to get done, although I did get various other bits and pieces sorted (including birthdays, weddings and house-moving). The phrase "Life is what happens when you're making other plans." has sprung repeatedly to mind, the problem being that I rather fancid the things I'd made plans for. So the question arises, should I avoid making any plans, so that when life happens I don't have any expectations for it to thwart? Or is life something that only happens when you have other plans - would the simple fact that I was sitting there waiting for life just mean that life lurked around the corner, unwilling to rope me into things until I was looking the other way?

Expectations are generally a real pain, having them can boost your enjoyment of an event, but also lead to attachments that are then painful to break. The buddhist answer would be to let go of my attachments - to treat them as a trap that will leave me tied to the world of illusions. My rationalist side, however, views this world as (almost certainly) the only one and rather enjoys being attached to it.

I suppose the only reasonable answer is to realise that expectations do lead to pain, but that they are worthwhile because of the pleasure they also provide. Now, if only I had more control over the things I felt attached to...

Comments

[spaj.livejournal.com]

I think you've solved your problem, without noticing. I picked up this pattern aged about 14. I realised that the problem was the solution.

If you accept that your plans will be disrupted by life, and that "life is what happens when you make other plans" then you'll raise your own expectations less. Not only will this save you from constant let downs, but when your plans make it through the maze of life, you'll find that the enjoyment of the event is somewhat improved, because it was largely unexpected.

The silver-anti-lining is that this makes you a cynical bastard.

Adam

[darkoshi]

So the question arises, should I avoid making any plans, so that when life happens I don't have any expectations for it to thwart? Or is life something that only happens when you have other plans - would the simple fact that I was sitting there waiting for life just mean that life lurked around the corner, unwilling to rope me into things until I was looking the other way?

lol - thanx for that...

when i was younger, i realized that if i always considered the possibilities of what could go wrong, i wouldn't be so disappointed when such things did happen.

i don't really notice myself thinking in that way much anymore, but maybe it's subconscious by now... plan for the unexpected, or it will happen.

i don't know... planning for the unexpected doesn't seem like it would reduce one's enjoyment of the expected happening. but it is a rather cynical viewpoint...

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

What they said. Make plans, but be aware that plans get disrupted. be agile, make new plans.

Think about what happens at work - you never just talk to people about what they want, sit down, write a spec, write the program to the spec, hand it over and everybody is happy and it's done with (nice fantasy though). I've been ever so much happer at work since i stopped trying to make this geek-fantasy happen [and stopped berating and stressing myself when I couldn't].

Be happier in life. If you plan something and don't get to it, either something got in the way (that you couldnt' help) or you didn't actually want it as much, or you wanted something else more. Pretty simple.

I always reserve the right to change my mind - you should too!