Ends and Means
Jul. 22nd, 2003 10:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I occasionally think about deceit and how worthwhile it is. It's one of those things I love in roleplaying games (hence my Scorpion Courtier in Legend of the 5 Rings), but avoid thoroughly in real life.
Experience has taught me that secrets cannot be kept by multiple people, the truth will come out and no matter how good your intentions were in lying to them, no matter how positive the outcome, people will hate you for not telling them the truth.
Can anyone think of situations where lies did, in fact work out for the best in the long run? (excepting things like counter-intelligence against enemy nations).
Experience has taught me that secrets cannot be kept by multiple people, the truth will come out and no matter how good your intentions were in lying to them, no matter how positive the outcome, people will hate you for not telling them the truth.
Can anyone think of situations where lies did, in fact work out for the best in the long run? (excepting things like counter-intelligence against enemy nations).
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 03:30 am (UTC)In general I prefer truth and honesty, but there are plenty of examples where telling someone a fib or being economical with the truth, simply keeps them from feel distress to no good effect. If telling someone the truth cannot in any way help them deal with an issue or prevent whatever it is, but will cause them distress, why upset them?
Of course this question is entirely dependant on the nature of the issue and the person. Some people can deal with bad issues, others fall appart. Whats good for one person and situation will be bad for someone else. Having the wisdom to tell the difference is quite a trick though.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 03:30 am (UTC)Some people thrive on intrigue though. In a lot of cases people know anyway
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 03:38 am (UTC)I've always disliked the whole "Do I look fat in this?" thing - Erin actually told me "Just tell me X." How can she take what I say seriously if she knows that I'm always going to give her the same response? It requires an amount of self-deceit that I certainly can't manage.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 04:35 am (UTC)And, yes, in answer to the original question. When I was accused of stealing at school, I lied about it, and, there being no witnesses, was given the benefit of the doubt. I had, in fact, been stealing. If I'd been found out, I'd've been expelled, which I think would have been bad. The experience didn't encourage me to steal. I'm fairly scrupulously honest, now, in fact. Overall, I have my education, and I'm honest. If I'd told the truth and got expelled, I might now be honest, but I'd be without the same education (expulsion would have meant a switch to a school that couldn't support the number of GCSEs I was studying for). So there.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 04:45 am (UTC)"Did you steal" the answer to that is not a white lie and that's what I'm talking about.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 04:57 am (UTC)when i feel fat and begin to _think_ i am i ask people, " do i look fat in this" privately wanting them to say no for reassurance regardless of the truth.
I think people who are in fact fat know this and really want a confidence boost.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 08:30 am (UTC)If an outfit makes me larger than I am, I prefer that the hubby (or whomever) tell me the truth so I can avoid the outfit in the future. But, lucky me!,
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 05:43 pm (UTC)That lets them know that the dress they've picked is not the best-looking thing in the world on them, but doesn't say you think they have lousy taste in clothing (regardless of your actual opinion).
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 11:16 am (UTC)According to what they believe:
I make significantly more money than I actually do, am not pagan, have never had a handfasting with
As for counter-intelligence, I talked to a friend who recently did a great deal of reading about Cold War spying and he largely came to the conclusion that the net benefit of all of the spying by all sides was nothing. By and large, it seemed that the various secrets that were revealed would have gotten out in a month or two anyway. His claim was that the entire endeavor was nothing more than a game played by people who assumed that it would be useful and who enjoyed doing it. This accords well with your idea that large-scale lying is largely useless.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 12:00 pm (UTC)There are of course the counter-examples of both the enigma machine giving the locations of the german fleet and the incorrect information leaked as to the allied reinvasion which caused the tank battalions to sit at Calais rather than repelling allied troops.
But I'm sure that largely the counter-intelligence wasn't hugely useful.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 12:16 pm (UTC)And then found it impossible to just restart them instantly...