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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2003-07-18 06:51 am (UTC)Sometimes I complain about (but also propose solutions to things that I doubt will change (bad queue management at airports, for example) or that the people with me can't change. I am looking for confirmation that my view is reasonable and also for an assessment of my proposed solution. So that one is both, I think. I do that a lot - complain but also offer solutions to my complaint. [ e.g "people are just too stupid, shoot the lot of them, that's what I say" :-) ]
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Date: 2003-07-18 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-18 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-18 07:55 am (UTC)Darn quiz. Grumble, moan, complain....
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Date: 2003-07-18 08:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-18 08:26 am (UTC)Darn quizzes. Moan, grumble, girn, complain....
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Date: 2003-07-18 08:57 am (UTC)Of course, it depends on the complaint, but you did say "mostly" and not "always".
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Date: 2003-07-18 09:13 am (UTC)And yeah, people complain to vent steam, but I was more thinking "what do you want from the other person?"
heh
Date: 2003-07-18 11:34 am (UTC)Which makes no sense to me, because I'm a guy.
The female version would be:
When I complain about a situation I'm mostly asking for:
* a sympathetic listener ("Wow, that's terrible!")
* a supportive listener ("It's OK. You'll make it through this.")
* a sycophantic listener ("What a jerk! You're so right! I'd kick his ass if I was you!")
* any freaking listener will do ("Umm humm ... yeah ... [takes another bite of sandwich, then picks up phone again] ... that's crazy ... of course ...")
* a listener who's got some great pain-killer for those cramps ("Hey, I have some extra-strength Tylenol in my purse. You want some?")
Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-18 01:32 pm (UTC)Actually, it took me ages to realise that people did think this was a gender issue. I always thought I was anti-wallowing because I was brought up English Protestant, and that's exactly what the cultural reality is for me. While I'm nowhere near a Protestant now, logically, I happen to think it's healthier not to spend ages mired in despond when you could read a good book and forget about it. And you better believe that doesn't make me the world's most popular feminist dyke.
Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-18 01:57 pm (UTC)Looking down the list, the figures very slightly support a male/female divide (and it's amusing to me to note that most of the people that cross the divide are bisexual or gay).
Too small a sample size to mean anything whatsoever, but in my experience women are more likely to want support, men are more likely to want solutions.
The reasons for this, of course, are entirely up for grabs.
Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-18 01:57 pm (UTC)As a guy who's dealt with depression and often wanted a "listener" myself, I realize that these emotions aren't gender-specific.
Sorry that the "tone of voice" on my original post wasn't clearer.
Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-21 01:20 am (UTC)Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-21 06:35 am (UTC)Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-21 07:06 am (UTC)Re: heh
Date: 2003-07-21 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-18 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-18 03:35 pm (UTC)