Sexy Poll Time

[andrewducker]

But first, to follow up on earlier, given the following conversation:

Person A: "OMG THIS EPISODE OF THIS THING I LOVE WAS AWESOME!"
Person B: "I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."
or
Person B: "Really? I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."
or
Person B: Seriously? I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

[Poll #1780938]

Comments

[tysolna]

I am having the weirdest flash of deja vu, as if you had posted the exact same poll before...

[andrewducker]

Which I haven't.

[tysolna]

That's the problem with deja vu - it's rarely true. :)

[andrewducker]

LOL!

(Literally. Julie gave me a funny look.)

[tysolna]

SEWIWEC on "Really" - it depends very much on the tone of voice; it can be anything from being enquiring or interested to being disgusted and appalled. I'll most likely put it into the category of set phrases used to connect to the first speaker and start a discussion.

"Seriously?", however, I would always judge to inflict a negative connotation.

As far as sex toys are concerned, I have no opinion on flesh lights because they are not suited to my use (but I cannot help wondering how they would feel if I had the right equipment).

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

While my first instinct is to fear both male and female genitals; on reflection I am realising that having no genitals is probably more gross, assuming you're not a rock or something that is not normally supposed to have them.

[cybik.livejournal.com]

Depends on tone! I think it can be meaningless and it can be negative, but rarely out and out positive.

[recycled-sales.livejournal.com]

Fear the Genetalia and their evil plans for us all!

[lizzie-and-ari.livejournal.com]

Mostly the fleshlight just has a gross name.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what it is.

[erratio.livejournal.com]

Just tested 'really' on myself - if I was to say it with a rising intonation, it would be incredulous/potentially scornful. If I was to say it with a falling intonation it would be curiosity.

So if someone was to say it on the Internet, I would extrapolate as best I could from the rest of the comment and prior knowledge of the person to decide which one they were using.

[usmu.livejournal.com]

It's been said before here, the "really?" being negative or neutral depends on the tone with which it is said. I can't see it being positive though. And anything that makes you feel better without hurting others is ok with me. I don't think I'd use either of them, I'm not build for vibrators and don't find the fleshlight appealing, but more power to the people who do.

Seriously?

[gwendally.livejournal.com]

If I used "seriously" it would be because I wasn't sure if they were joking or not. If the context of the rest of the post made it clear they were serious I would not say that. But if it were a one-liner and I couldn't make out if they were being sarcastic? I'd say "seriously."

Re: Seriously?

[nmg.livejournal.com]

I agree with this reading; I don't view "seriously?" as having negative connotations, but rather that someone thinks that I might be pulling their leg.

[sigmonster.livejournal.com]

If you have an option for "neither", you should also have an option for "both", dammit. Also harrumph. Did Venn die in vain?

[marrog.livejournal.com]

They're check boxes, not radio buttons. If you think both you can just tick both.

[andrewducker]

They're check boxes...

[sigmonster.livejournal.com]

And you can also leave checkboxes unticked, so "neither" is also unecessary. Ah well: time to get up and make coffee, which ran out yesterday so in fact it will be tea, probably Ceylon OP but possibly Lapsang Souchong.

[andrewducker]

You can - but then you don't get a useful visualisation of how many people said neither...

[0olong.livejournal.com]

Also, what about the people who think that both sets of genitals are gross, but also neither?

[andrewducker]

They're just being confusing. Or situational.

[andabusers.livejournal.com]

Iiiinteresting. See, even if the tone for "Really?" was obviously one of incredulity to me it's the most positive statement. I think the "Really?" invites debate and indicates an interest in a different perspective. Nothing invites, well, nothing, and "Seriously?" is loaded with judgement, I reckon.

Oh wait I should have started this comment with "Really?" lolz.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

IAWTC

[andrewducker]

Yeah, I know :->

I can't see a semantic difference between "Really?" and "Seriously?" - they both parse exactly the same in my head.

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

They parse the same to me too.

[channelpenguin.livejournal.com]

Given the juxtaposition in this poll, I am now thinking very hard how to word my opinion on the genitalia votes. For the record I voted "Neither" and am rather puzzled/saddened that there were any votes for the other answers.

[andrewducker]

It makes me sad too.

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

I read the first instance (no "Really?" or "Seriously?") as a bit rude because it's quite abrupt. To me, the "Really?" makes it a bit more polite because it indicates Person B has heard Person A and is responding to the content of their comment rather than 'talking over' them. It's like [SOCIAL NOISE: SEGUE], it doesn't really have any content.

"Seriously?" reads incredulous and rude to me. I can't explain why it does that and isn't just social noise like "Really?", though!

[marrog.livejournal.com]

Yes! 'Social noise' is a perfect description! I used the expression 'verbal tic' but that makes it seem less normal and natural than it (in my opinion) is.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

Like, in spoken conversation it might be a thoughtful, middle-raised "Hmm" before going on instead of an actual word, but hums and haws are even worse online for being misunderstood.

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

Yes yes yes! Or "Huh," or "Oh," or "OK," or similar.

In response to:

Person A: "OMG THIS EPISODE OF THIS THING I LOVE WAS AWESOME!"

the following:

Person B: "Really? I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

Person B: "Oh, I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

Person B: "Huh, I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

Person B: "Ah right. I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

Person B: "Yeah, I thought it was a bit contrived/boring/silly/not up to usual standards for x/y/z/ reason..."

all read/hear exactly the same to me. They're each "[noise indicating receipt of information and conclusion of previous person's communication], [opinion]."

[andrewducker]

I'm curious as to why "Really?" and "Seriously?" are different for you.

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid the best I can come up with is descriptivism. "Seriously?" hasn't shed its meaning like "Really?" has to me, or like "All right?" has become a greeting rather than a question, or "Yeah" has become something that can be said in disagreement ("Yeah, I really hated it, actually"). I can't be explicit about when or how that happened because I don't know.

[ajr.livejournal.com]

IAWTC. Especially "They're each "[noise indicating receipt of information and conclusion of previous person's communication], [opinion].""

It feels rude to me to skip the [noise...] part and go straight to [own opinion], because that feels to me like completely disregarding the other viewpoint and going straight to saying "YOU'RE WRONG!"

So, to me, saying "Really?" first before dissenting is a way of saying "I hear and acknowledge your views; I thought differently, these are my views, and perhaps we can discuss them and you can show me the error of my ways."

I realise I might be sounding slightly flip towards the end of the above, but it's difficult to put it exactly into words. All I can say is that when I say "Really?", it does mean I am interested in hearing what the other person has to say, and I am more than happy to reappraise my own views if I find what they say persuasive.

In real life, I can see how tone of voice might come in to it, but on the internet it's easier to presume there's no malice involved (well, unless "Really?" is followed by "Are you a complete retard? It's OBVIOUS you're wrong!" phrases), or as Wikipedia put it, "assume good faith."

I can't assume similar good faith with "Seriously?", though, because there's only one way of reading that word "Are you being serious?", as if you couldn't possibly mean what you're saying without being some way wrong in the head, or having a wind-up.

But all that said, I'll try and remember to avoid "Really" if I ever find myself writing a comment where I might otherwise naturally put it in.

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

I find semen utterly gross but male genitalia is just funny looking. I have no idea why some people think male genitalia is attractive, probably because I've always been more attracted to women physically, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I find it gross.

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

A former housemate of mine once compared erect penises to meerkats ("startled and alert-looking") and I have never been able to take completely seriously again. (Which has been very good for me in the long run, as completely serious sex isn't very fun for me.)

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

*Chortle* I'm going to have trouble getting that image out of my head now, I'm not sure my partner is going to be awfully impressed!

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

And on the Really? thing - spoken, I would take it as neutral or negative depending on tone of voice.

Written, I rely on context to give me a clue, and here the level of squeeing expressed by person A makes the comment negative because it is clear that the opinion expressed is a strongly positive one. Therefore, the 'do you really think that?' question implied by the use of Really? is a negative opening because obviously they do or they wouldn't be squeeing!

I seem to be the only person who thinks person A affects the context though.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

Had a thought on the bus today. I think for me, either 'really' or 'seriously' is meant mostly in jest. Because if it were something really horrifying, say, a friend saying 'I think the BNP are GREAT!' then I would be so taken aback and aware of how rude my 'you're talking crap' would be.

[palmer1984.livejournal.com]

Really strange that people have that reaction to fleshlights. Are vaginas that gross?

I can't use fleshlights, obviously, but they give people pleasure, and don't harm anyone, so YAAAAAAAAY!

[andrewducker]

That's how I feel about it. I understand people being freaked out by things that look like disembodied body parts, but things like fleshlights are abstract enough looking that they don't trigger that in me.

[anef.livejournal.com]

I think "really" is better than just giving a flat contradiction. To me "really?" sounds like an invitation to a discussion. Without it the other person is just denying your opinion.