Dealing with kids

[andrewducker]

I've become addicted to the writing of James Lileks. Leaving aside his views, his writing style utterly charms me. Here, he rambles about his toddler:

I took her to Target to get a nightlight. She chose a pink crown, and squealed with delight: "I'm a queen!"

Well, honey, No. You're a citizen in a country that long ago shook off the trappings of hereditary rule and monarchical privilege -- I mean, if royalty claims Divine Right as the basis on which it claims legitimacy, then putting you back in bed goes contrary to the wishes of God. I've read the Bible. The Commandments are silent on the issue of keeping the door open and the light on. They are remarkably specific on the matter of honoring Mom and Dad, however. So if I buy this crown-shaped lamp, it does not mean God is on your side. Well, he is, but in the general sense. I mean, look at the definition for the word Lucifer: bringer of light. One could argue that the nightlight itself is the heck-spawned abomination -- although Martin Luther did note that lighting a candle is preferable to cursing the darkness, so it's obviously a point on which theologians can argue at length.

(pause)

"I'm a queen!"

Whatever. We bought the crown.

Comments

[cynicalman.livejournal.com]

He's a hoot, although I don't get to read him much. Which is ironic, when you consider that I live in the Cities. I used to get the Strib delivered to my apartment, but I cancelled it a few years back after someone would avail themselves of my subscription before I could get to it.

Some people would consider me a traitor for preferring the Strib (a paper from the city on the other side of the Mississippi...*gasp*) over the Pioneer Press here in St. Paul. I say pth on that. It's got better comics.