You must suffer with me

[andrewducker]

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.

After slamming several beers in quick succession (as bass violinists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!"

"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist.

"I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see?

It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."

From (starts off about programming jokes, turns into orchestra jokes pretty quickly)
via sarahs_muse

Comments

[andrewducker]

Also:
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

[zz]

Depends whether you're one of its targeted people or not. :P

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

Well, the canonical answer is: finding half a worm.
Hence it's a second-level joke, like the one about aspirin in the jungle.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

I may have to hunt you down like a dog, and then beat you senseless like a hamster.

[zz]

While I understand that relates to baseball, thankfully I don't understand how baseball works.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

That's not an orchestra joke, that's about baseball or somesuch!

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

I've passed this along to the two biggest punsters I know, kradical and yendi. *salutes this joke*

[soon_lee]

Oh no you didn't!

[broin.livejournal.com]

Some favorite musician jokes:


---
Q: What's the difference between a muso and a large pepperoni pizza?

A: A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.

---

Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?

It saves time.

---

A violist came home and found his house burned to the ground.

When he asked what happened, the police told him "Well, apparently the conductor came to your house, and ..."

The violist's eyes lit up and he interrupted excitedly, "The conductor? Came to my house?"

---

How do you know the drummer's at the door?

If he could come in on time, he wouldn't be a drummer.

---

[andrewducker]

The drummer ones starting here were some of my favourites:
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/cnwkd/programming_husband/c0txlle

[broin.livejournal.com]

Very good. :D