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Aug. 11th, 2008
You are not in control
Aug. 11th, 2008 01:28 pmOver here there's an article on self-control, and how hard it is. It uses the idea of first and second-order preferences, where your have both preferences and preferences _about_ your preferences.
I have a first-order preference for cakes, sweets, and other miscellaneous sugary delights. I have a second order preference for healthy eating, which is a preference _about_ that first-order preference. I know, however, that second-order preferences are a hell of a lot weaker than first-order ones. It takes a huge amount of effort to modify a first-order preference, sustained over a long period of time. Unless the rewards are high and the pressure is sustained, it's incredibly likely that the first-order preference will be unchanged.
This is why diets don't work. You want to be skinny, but this is merely wishing, whereas your body _craves_ food, in a much stronger way than you wish you were thin.
The article neatly ties into neatly into a discussion I was having along similar lines with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
is_not_well recently - about the way the unconscious is largely in charge of our decisions. The unconscious is what makes most of our decisions, it contains our cravings, our wants, our demands and our first-order preferences. Most people think of their conscious mind as being in control, but largely it sits there as a top level, observing what goes on. There are plenty of studies out there that show that the conscious mind actually finds out what we're going to do _after_ we've decided to do it.
This is a pain, especially as the conscious mind is the only bit that can actually apply logic to a situation. Not that logic is always the most useful way to approach something, but sometimes it is, and when we need to attack something deductively it actually takes up huge amounts of the brain's processing power, as the conscious mind wrests control of the decision-making power for a few moments. Only, frequently, to have it wrested straight back, as the subconscious decides that one more biscuit would be an _excellent_ idea.
The mistake most people make, especially control freaks, is in thinking that they can bludgeon their subconscious into submission, and force it to do what they want. This normally leads straight into all sorts of neurotic behaviour, as the unconscious mind uses all sorts of defence mechanisms to get its way.
The only way to get long term results is to train the subconscious. Think of it like a child, or an animal, or a neural network (whichever one seems like the better metaphor to you), and correct it slowly, giving it constant feedback of the correct kind to encourage it in the right direction. You can't retrain an animal quickly, and there are some things you can never train it to do, but given time, persistence, patience and from learning what methods work best with your particular pet, you can do a lot. And generally it works a lot better than shouting at it, and then sulking when it doesn't instantly learn what you want from it.
I have a first-order preference for cakes, sweets, and other miscellaneous sugary delights. I have a second order preference for healthy eating, which is a preference _about_ that first-order preference. I know, however, that second-order preferences are a hell of a lot weaker than first-order ones. It takes a huge amount of effort to modify a first-order preference, sustained over a long period of time. Unless the rewards are high and the pressure is sustained, it's incredibly likely that the first-order preference will be unchanged.
This is why diets don't work. You want to be skinny, but this is merely wishing, whereas your body _craves_ food, in a much stronger way than you wish you were thin.
The article neatly ties into neatly into a discussion I was having along similar lines with
is_not_well recently - about the way the unconscious is largely in charge of our decisions. The unconscious is what makes most of our decisions, it contains our cravings, our wants, our demands and our first-order preferences. Most people think of their conscious mind as being in control, but largely it sits there as a top level, observing what goes on. There are plenty of studies out there that show that the conscious mind actually finds out what we're going to do _after_ we've decided to do it.This is a pain, especially as the conscious mind is the only bit that can actually apply logic to a situation. Not that logic is always the most useful way to approach something, but sometimes it is, and when we need to attack something deductively it actually takes up huge amounts of the brain's processing power, as the conscious mind wrests control of the decision-making power for a few moments. Only, frequently, to have it wrested straight back, as the subconscious decides that one more biscuit would be an _excellent_ idea.
The mistake most people make, especially control freaks, is in thinking that they can bludgeon their subconscious into submission, and force it to do what they want. This normally leads straight into all sorts of neurotic behaviour, as the unconscious mind uses all sorts of defence mechanisms to get its way.
The only way to get long term results is to train the subconscious. Think of it like a child, or an animal, or a neural network (whichever one seems like the better metaphor to you), and correct it slowly, giving it constant feedback of the correct kind to encourage it in the right direction. You can't retrain an animal quickly, and there are some things you can never train it to do, but given time, persistence, patience and from learning what methods work best with your particular pet, you can do a lot. And generally it works a lot better than shouting at it, and then sulking when it doesn't instantly learn what you want from it.