![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Reality is what you can get away with.
Apr. 24th, 2008 05:20 pmOne of the things I've learned from life is to accept my limitations.
This is, of course, the complete opposite of what innumerable pop-psychology books say you should do.
But that's because they're actually saying "Don't accept those things which seem like limitations, because some of them aren't limitations, they just seem that way because you're too scared to try them."
I've learned a lot about myself over the past thirty five years. I've learned that I can cope with some things for a longer than I'd ever imagined I'd be able to, that I'm quite good at all sorts of things that I didn't imagine were my forte, and that I can turn my hand to most things, if I have to. I've also discovered that there are some things that my brain just doesn't work well with, some types of work that bore me to the point where I ought to be paid _not_ to do them, and that there are some things I can't cope with at all.
They are my limitations, I am stuck with them, and frankly my life is much happier since I stopped saying "I should be able to do X. Normal people can do X. I'm sure that my life would be better if I could do X." and started saying "I cannot do X, I will spend my time on Y instead."
Of course, because I know more about my limitations I know that there are all sorts of things that are well within them, things which might have scared me in the past. I can focus on my strengths, and get so much more out of them.
I see so many people bashing their heads against brick walls - listening to the popular belief that they _should_ be good at something they're never going to be great at, that they should want things they don't, that they should stretch themselves in ways that do nothing but make them hurt.
So explore your boundaries, learn where you can stretch to, what you can do, where your limitations really are. But don't feel that you constantly have to be battering against them.
This is, of course, the complete opposite of what innumerable pop-psychology books say you should do.
But that's because they're actually saying "Don't accept those things which seem like limitations, because some of them aren't limitations, they just seem that way because you're too scared to try them."
I've learned a lot about myself over the past thirty five years. I've learned that I can cope with some things for a longer than I'd ever imagined I'd be able to, that I'm quite good at all sorts of things that I didn't imagine were my forte, and that I can turn my hand to most things, if I have to. I've also discovered that there are some things that my brain just doesn't work well with, some types of work that bore me to the point where I ought to be paid _not_ to do them, and that there are some things I can't cope with at all.
They are my limitations, I am stuck with them, and frankly my life is much happier since I stopped saying "I should be able to do X. Normal people can do X. I'm sure that my life would be better if I could do X." and started saying "I cannot do X, I will spend my time on Y instead."
Of course, because I know more about my limitations I know that there are all sorts of things that are well within them, things which might have scared me in the past. I can focus on my strengths, and get so much more out of them.
I see so many people bashing their heads against brick walls - listening to the popular belief that they _should_ be good at something they're never going to be great at, that they should want things they don't, that they should stretch themselves in ways that do nothing but make them hurt.
So explore your boundaries, learn where you can stretch to, what you can do, where your limitations really are. But don't feel that you constantly have to be battering against them.
