Bad jokes a-go-go

[andrewducker]

[Poll #1360626]

Comments

[andrewducker]

Can you believe there's not one hit on the whole of the internet for "The Abbess Gazes Also"!

I may have just come up with something original.

And groan-worthy.

Win!

[sigmonster.livejournal.com]

Right!

Did you hear there's a new draft standard for controlling MRSA and other infections, especially in patients with persistent ulcers and bedsores?

Furthermore, the HSE have issued an urgent warning about all sat map systems sold in the last two years.

And there's several wormwood liqueurs sold which have a fairly hysterical reputation - most of which is entirely unjustified. But it is true that you shouldn't ever let it come into contact with your nasal passages or eyes.

[andrewducker]

I'm clearly missing something here...

[sigmonster.livejournal.com]

Abyss; Abbess; Abcess; GPS; Absinth.

If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly!

I hate myself. But I would do it again.

[sigmonster.livejournal.com]

"Dear Miss Manners:

I have a terrible problem! For many years I've been reading your column with great pleasure, along with several other advice columns - financial planning, Dan Savage, agony aunts of all kinds. But just recently I've started finding myself giving unsolicited tips to friends and acquaintances. I can't stop myself. I tell my maiden great-aunts about safe anonymous sex, my unemployed artist friends about balancing their investment portfolios, and my enthusiastically single roommate about seating weddings. Help!

- Obsessed in Oklahoma

Dear OO:

When you gaze too long into Dear Abby, Dear Abby gazes also into you.

- Miss Manners."

[andrewducker]

Aieee!

[akicif.livejournal.com]

Nope, sorry: even using the same wording, there's one other (it even has an image). And without using "gazes", there's at least another two. And that's without considering the "Abbess [verb]s into you" formulation.

The thing is, Nietzsche did write about an actual Abbess - St Hildegarde of Bingen - so it's quite an oldie offweb.

[andrewducker]

Truly, AKICIAKICIF.

[pickwick.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'd actually got to "The Abbess gays also into you"...

[channelpenguin.livejournal.com]

Is that really a valid alternative spelling of his name?

[andrewducker]

It's what you get when I'm just awake :->

[randomchris.livejournal.com]

Ah. I was trying to get something along the lines of "God is dead".

[meico.livejournal.com]

"Have you heard about Nitzchean Nun Porn? No? Since God is dead it's obviously necrophilia porn."

Was immediately what jumped into my mind, but apparently it is not what Andrew had in mind...

[communicator.livejournal.com]

Thus spake Zara Thruster? That's all I got.

[andrewducker]

My answer is the first comment...

[ninebelow.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

I said "I got it already" but I'm not going to swear that the punchline I got is the punchline you have in mind.

[andrewducker]

My answer is the first comment...

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

I didn't read the comments, on purpose.

But there *is* another reference to it! From '06, even!

[andrewducker]

link?

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

The Google result.

And the actual result. (Do a search for "abbess"; it's a little over halfway down the page.)

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh! Edited to fix HTML that fails harder than a bank bailout.

[andrewducker]

Cheers - can't see how I missed that earlier!

[johnbobshaun.livejournal.com]

"The Abyss Gazes Also" ran though my head but I totally failed to put two and two together.

[lpetrazickis.livejournal.com]

"When you lick into the abyss, the abyss licks back at you."

[aliiis.livejournal.com]

Yes yes but have you heard about the mohel with shaky hands?

[cheekbones3.livejournal.com]

I definitely need more education.

[andrewducker]

My job here is done :->

(The quote "If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." was in my head because it's in Watchmen. I haven't actually _read_ Nietzsche.)

[cheekbones3.livejournal.com]

I have heard that, just not enough to connect with the play on words...