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Joe just came in and asked me to wander towards the kitchen and tell him when I "noticed the physical effects". So I wandered down, wondering what was up, smelt Nick's cooking (mmm, fried onions) and was about to say "My nostrils must be fucked" when I felt a sensation not unlike my nostril hair being set on fire. And when I turned to say "What the hell is that?" to Joe, I felt a similar tickling/burning in my throat. Nick, of course, refuses to divulge what the evil ingredient in his cooking is. I suspect it's dog hair.

March 2026

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