I've been driving in my car

[andrewducker]

I can't drive. I've never had a lesson and the one time I've been behind the wheel was in school during one of those "teach them something about life" lessons that my school did very badly.

I don't particularly want to drive, I don't like the idea on purely ecological grounds, and I've avoided learning for years. And today I had further evidence that I shouldn't.

So I'm playing Grand Theft Auto 3 for the first time today, and I hijack some vaguely cool vehicle that's passing by. Throwing the driver to the ground, I leap in and head off to find some innocent bystanders to run over. The radio station the car was tuned to isn't to my taste, and from the game reviews I remember that you can change radio station using the mousewheel. So I start changing the radio stations randomly, looking for something I liked, listening to a few seconds at a time. And drove straight into a brick wall. Because I can't actually do two things at the same time. Not even slightly. I can switch between two things fast enough to read the map and drive at the same time, but two things at the actual same time? Not a chance.

So I think I'll avoid learning to drive for the time being.

Comments

Not A Problem

[aberbotimue.livejournal.com]

You sound like most drivers out there... you will make a sterling driver...

Just keep the head rests high enough, above your ears...

Re: Not A Problem

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

Do it like in GTA3. Get a gun so that if you crash, you can shoot your way to freedom!

Oh No He Doesnt

[wordofblake.livejournal.com]

If he was like most drivers he'd have found a way to blame the wall...

Re: Oh No He Doesnt

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

It was funny at scottishpower how -all- the people who owned cars had no money and could never see why (petrol, insurance, general running costs, credit etc) and blamed everything else for the lack of cash. And they also all thought that everyone else on the road was a bad driver, never themselves.

Cars are like mobile phones, they make people stupid. As soon as someone gets either, they lose all social graces and assume that they are the -one- person who doesn't use their phone/car in an annoying/stupid/embarassing manner.

I'm so glad I have neither.

Re: Oh No He Doesnt

[spaj.livejournal.com]

oh so many things to say;

1) I own a car, and have plenty of money.
2) I'm a bad driver. I speed, and I annoy other drivers out of my way. I'm not a cunt though. Every time I'm on the road, I see someone doing something stupid, and even against the law, just to progress one or two places in what can only be described as an endless stream of traffic.
3) I am the only good driver, now I think about it. They are all idiots. But I reckon I'm more likely to be right here. I've never crashed, and the few times I've come close, it's been my fault.

Now for Andy;

When I was playing Driver, I was the king of the road. I ran rings round people. I was a king, amongst men. I pulled handbreak turns, so I could flip 180 in the air, jump the middle barrier on the road, and land the other way round. Nick sat and watched, he can testify to this. GTA3 is a fair bit like driver, except you get guns. I never ever EVER tried to flip 180 in the air in real life. I crashed about 10 times a mission in driver. again, no crashes in real life..... If you've only crashed once in GTA, because you were changing the radio, then I think you'll probably be a better driver than me.

Adam

[cleodhna.livejournal.com]

I used to drive. I was an absurdly careful driver. Then, I never changed the radio while driving...

dead birds

[(Anonymous)]

i change radio, smoke, drink coke, do my lipstick, check my eyebrows and all usually while I'm driving......no accidents as yet. Mind you there was that one time when I looked down at the map and hit an emu driving through the bush. I was traumatised for weeks......they are very stupid birds I have been told.

C.