Noooo!

[andrewducker]

Internet Outage Plunges Nation Into Productivity

"Our office was working at roughly 95 percent efficiency," said Steven Glover, an advertising executive and creative team leader at Rae Jaynes Houser. "It's problematic to have the rate jump like that—it sets a precedent that will be impossible to maintain once the Internet comes back."

Glover said his department failed to reach 100 percent productivity only because employees stopped work every few minutes throughout the outage to see if Internet service had been restored.

"This is terrible," said Miami resident Ron Lewison, an employee at Gladstone Finance and an Amazon.com Top 500 Reviewer. "For two days, I've been denied access to the vital information I need to go about my workday. In the absence of that information, I've been forced to go about my job."

According to Labor Department statistics, companies affected by the Internet outage generated an estimated $4 to $6 billion in extra revenue.

Comments

[wordofblake.livejournal.com]

Two Onion stories in two weeks!

[darkoshi]

ROTFL! dunno why that strikes me as so funny, considering i rarely use the internet for non-work-related purposes while at work.

today i looked up a word in an online dictionary... it was sort of work-related... I overheard one of our Indian coworkers fluently use the word "bifurcation" in conversation with an American coworker, and the American responded something like "huhh? bi... what? oh, you mean 'separation'!" Then the Indian asked if she had pronounced it wrong, and the American said "Well, that's not an American word!" heh. That amused me, and although I was already vaguely familiar with the word, I wanted to see what the dictionary said about it.