Reflections on my autism diagnosis
Dec. 18th, 2023 12:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
andrewduckerIt's a few months since I got my autism diagnosis, and I've now been asked by a few people if I thought that it was useful.
And in a purely technical sense* the answer is no. It's not made any real difference to my life. I already had a job. The job is already pretty flexible. So there's nothing technical that I need it for.
What I *have* noticed is that I've changed from feeling a defensive "I know what I need to be effective, and I'm willing to fight for it if I need it." whenever I'm doing anything in an unusual way. Instead I feel a "Fuck you, I'm autistic, and this is how I work.", which means I'm carrying around a fair bit less stress**.
Additionally, by me being open about it at work I've had a couple of people open up to me themselves. And I'm getting involved in how we deal with neurodiversity at work. And hoping to make a positive difference to people. And outside of work people have also come to me to talk about issues, and I've (hopefully) been helpful to them.
Plus, of course, I'm no longer carrying around the I'm a bad sparrow voice in the back of my head. Not that I did a lot of that, but it's nice to not have any of it at all. And if I wanted to go to an autism support group or something like that, then I'd be able to do so without feeling as weird about it.
So, although it hasn't made a massive difference to my life, it's definitely made a positive one. And if you were thinking of getting an assessment yourself, then I'd say it was worth kicking off the process, even if the current state of the NHS means it might take a while.
*Which is clearly the best one ;-)
**Although obviously I'd phrase it more politely when dealing with senior management. Probably.
And in a purely technical sense* the answer is no. It's not made any real difference to my life. I already had a job. The job is already pretty flexible. So there's nothing technical that I need it for.
What I *have* noticed is that I've changed from feeling a defensive "I know what I need to be effective, and I'm willing to fight for it if I need it." whenever I'm doing anything in an unusual way. Instead I feel a "Fuck you, I'm autistic, and this is how I work.", which means I'm carrying around a fair bit less stress**.
Additionally, by me being open about it at work I've had a couple of people open up to me themselves. And I'm getting involved in how we deal with neurodiversity at work. And hoping to make a positive difference to people. And outside of work people have also come to me to talk about issues, and I've (hopefully) been helpful to them.
Plus, of course, I'm no longer carrying around the I'm a bad sparrow voice in the back of my head. Not that I did a lot of that, but it's nice to not have any of it at all. And if I wanted to go to an autism support group or something like that, then I'd be able to do so without feeling as weird about it.
So, although it hasn't made a massive difference to my life, it's definitely made a positive one. And if you were thinking of getting an assessment yourself, then I'd say it was worth kicking off the process, even if the current state of the NHS means it might take a while.
*Which is clearly the best one ;-)
**Although obviously I'd phrase it more politely when dealing with senior management. Probably.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-18 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 07:33 am (UTC)Yesterday I was talking to someone about some of the issues I have and he said I definitely sounded autistic and possibly ADHD (he runs the work ND network so I guess knows how to recognise things). I've suspected autistic for a long time but never considered ADHD before, but it does make a lot of sense now that I'm thinking about it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 10:23 am (UTC)The drugs have been absolutely life-changing. I'm one of the lucky ones for whom they have a powerful theraputic effect, with no noticable side-effects.