andrewducker: (Default)
[personal profile] andrewducker

Date: 2018-09-27 11:31 am (UTC)
momentsmusicaux: (Default)
From: [personal profile] momentsmusicaux
> Instead, you should say something like, “Oh, go ahead – you choose a seat”, and the odds are that she or he will not only leave the better seat for you, but also think that you’re generous.

Um, no, leaving the other person realizing that you've manipulated their instinct to act politely and silently cursing you for it.

Date: 2018-09-27 12:08 pm (UTC)
xenophanean: (Default)
From: [personal profile] xenophanean
This is exactly what I thought. Putting someone where they're in a position where they have to make a social-value laden choice isn't normally a nice thing to do.

E.g.
2 people sitting in a restaurant:
Person A: "What a lovely meal, shall we split the bill"
Person B: "We could, or I could pay for it all, entirely up to you"

Unless it's couched very carefully, I think Person A would find any answer like this slightly hostile. It's Person B suggesting that they act in a manner which would lose face, an outcome which hadn't been on the table before. It can be mitigated if other meals had been paid for, or there were other social bonds, but for two strangers, this'd be very odd.
Edited Date: 2018-09-27 12:13 pm (UTC)

Date: 2018-09-27 12:10 pm (UTC)
danieldwilliam: (Default)
From: [personal profile] danieldwilliam
On principle when put in the that situation I take the best seat and then ask the other person to go to the bar for me.

Date: 2018-09-27 03:46 pm (UTC)
calimac: (Default)
From: [personal profile] calimac
"the odds are that she or he will not only leave the better seat for you"

That's because the people in this scenario are British, and consequently self-effacing. Americans are far less likely to make the offer postulated.

But if a Brit makes that offer to a visiting American, the American is likely to give a slightly surprised look, say "well, thanks," and take the better seat.

I know, because this situation has happened to me. I am an American.

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