andrewducker | My awesome friends have helped me plan out the remainder of my life

On Friday I went to see a divorce lawyer, and posted about it on Facebook, saying Well, I can tick "Talk to a divorce lawyer" off of my bucket list.

I got a bunch of sympathy from people, and that was lovely.

I also had

swampers say "I can come up with a better bucket list. Item 1: Talk to a bucket."
And this was followed by 30-odd hours of intermittent updates from my lovely friends, as they proceeded to come up with a 100-item list of items that you can do with, from, or near a bucket - and every time one came in it made me grin.

1	Talk to a bucket.
2	Stick head in bucket
3	Sit on bucket and pretend to be Oor Willie for an afternoon.
4	Buy a bigger bucket for your bucket to be carried in.
5	Introduce a Walrus to your bucket
6	Name your bucket Hyacinth
7	Take your bucket on a world tour of sights it should see before.. wait a minute
8	Take your bucket to the seaside. Don't forget to bring a bucket and spade!
9	Recreate famous moments of Hawaii-5-0, "Book'et, Danno."
10	Paint a red and white circular design on your bucket, pretend it's a Pokeball and throw it at passing wildlife.
11	Find a popular internet trend, buck it!
12	Fill your bucket with flowers. Call it a bouquet
13	Fill bucket with iced water and tip it over your head, creating online viral charity phenomenon
14	Persuade a diminutive brown alien to ride on a startled horse.
15	Take a holiday, I suggest a period of quiet and reflection where you can review life goals and plan for the future. Ideally you'll visit a small island just off Massachusets. You could write a Nantucket list.
16	Sell your bucket for a dollar
17	Fix the hole in your bucket. Do NOT sing about it.
18	Fix the hole in your bucket. Sing about it!
19	Paint your bucket black. Sing about it
20	Remove all paint from your bucket, sing about how you would prefer it if it was black.
21	Play BSG with your bucket. Accuse it of being a Cylon because it's being too quiet.
22	Play BSG with your bucket and Alex. Accuse the bucket of being a Cylon because it's being too quiet. Lose, because Alex is playing.
23	Wear your bucket on your head to a re-enactment event, insist that it is "historically accurate".
24	Buy a second bucket, turn them both upside down and tie them to your feet so you can use them as stilts.
25	Write a 2.6 million word ode to your receptacle. Call it the Bucket Report.
26	Put your (black-painted) bucket on your head, breathe heavily and tell unsuspecting people that you are their father.
27	Put your bucket on your head and tell passers-by that "None shall pass."
28	take bucket to popular resort island in Thailand. It is now a Phuket Bucket.
29	Put bucket on head, claim to be a Teutonic Knight
30	Stand in bucket. Do baby Groot dance, just because.. baby Groot dance.
31	Get two buckets. Play da bongos, just like da King of Bongo Bong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMLJVha5sw
32	Fill bucket with toy dinosaurs and change your name to Harry.
33	Fill you bucket with kittens. This isn't a reference to anything, I just like kittens. (To which Hal responded, I now want a T-shirt that says "When life gives you buckets, fill 'em with kittens.")
34	Fill your bucket with sand. Carry it around until you see a fire. Throw it on the fire. Become Big Damn Hero (tm). Also, very strong. (NB. Do not attempt this when your bucket is full of kittens)
35	Place the bucket in stable orbit around the sun. Yell at people in pubs until they agree with you that the bucket is there
36	Land your bucket on a comet
37	Sacrifice a bucket to the deity of your choice
38	Get a very large bucket, a large bucket, a medium bucket, a small bucket and a very small bucket. Put them inside each other. Gift them to your Russian grandmother.
39	Eat the bucket and gain its powers (Again, not with the kittens)
40	Fill the bucket with a KFC bucket of chicken. Eat chicken. Realise the fries have all gone cold
41	Have a sitting MSP buy you a bucket of Red Bull and vodka. (I'm only putting this here so there's one I've actually done, says Tina)
42	Challenge someone to sculpt a bucket out of ice.
43	Make a giant cup of tea in the bucket. Drink it with one of those oversized custard cream biscuits you get in coffee chains these days.
44	Visit Thermopylae. Come back with your bucket or in it.
45	Flatten your bucket and play it on an old phonograph. Backwards for more amusement value
46	Take your bucket to Princes Street on a sunny day. Hold it up in the air. Keep looking from your watch to the sky with a faintly disappointed look on your face
47	Demonstrate centrifugal force by swinging bucket full of water in a big circle on the end of a rope. Probably best this isn't while you are on Princes Street. Or in the coffee shop (Or while it is full of kittens. Although apparently some kittens like that kind of thing.)
48	In Edinburgh, during August, stand on the Royal Mile with your bucket on your head, attempting to yodel. Leave a sign proclaiming it is performance art, and a second bucket for donations
49	Just go busking with your bucket on Buchanan St, complete with a sign saying "donations welcome" on it while you attempt to do a solo rendition of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" (both Elton John's and Kiki Dee's parts). Put a few bottles of Irn Bru and a couple of macaroni pies in to encourage others.
50	Take a holiday with your bucket but crash on a deserted island. Go native. Paint a face on the bucket and call him Wilson. Get rescued after going slightly loopy but probably get nominated for an Oscar.
51	Wake up next to a bucket you don't recognise. And a pineapple.
52	Use your bucket to milk a goat.
53	Lose your bucket. Put up signs saying "Have you seen this bucket?"
54	Get clear plastic bucket. Use as diving helmet. Explore underwater.
55	Use bucket as ice cream bowl. Eat it all. Enter Guinness Book Of Records.
56	Attach helium balloons to bucket. Attempt to travel around the bypass in 80 minutes.
57	Put your bucket over your eyes, and have a group of friends provide directions to navigate you through a fantasy dungeon (LEFT! No, your other left!)
58	Draw sequence of horses inside bucket. Cut slits in sides. Spin.
59	Convert your bucket in to a chic and handy portable barbecue.
60	Put your bucket in a body of water. Add some stones to it so it tilts to one side. Voilà: you've made your bucket list
61	Teach your bucket to play the piano so well that it composes hundreds of piano pieces; promotes piano recitals; and becomes a teacher of even more great composers of the age. Voilà: you've made your bucket Liszt.
62	Teach your bucket the scouse accent and make it wear dreadlocks. Voila, you've made your bucket Lister
63	Achieve "telepathy", by attaching a long rope to the bottom of your bucket, and the bucket of a friend, and talking whilst both wearing the buckets on your heads.
64	Attach castors to the rim of your bucket, turn it upside down, and paint on a face and a lolling tongue.Attach a lead to it, and take it for walks in the park.Allow strangers to pet it.
65	Fill your bucket with crayons. Walk around, handing out crayons to anyone who looks sad.
66	Throw bucket in air and shoot with minigun. Now sell as high end colander.
67	Use said bucket with holes to make a shower for Glastonbury. And charge people for pouring water through it.
68	Make a short film and edit the bucket in as an asteroid.
69	Take your bucket to speaker's corner to complain you just can't get the soap boxes nowadays.
70	Use the bucket to lower down a well and save the small boy Skippy pushed down
71	Crash your bucket on a remote tropical island and spend six series refusing to confirm if the "survivors" are alive or dead. Bucket Lost.
72	Introduce your bucket to a really sexy bucket to induce bucket lust...
73	Convert your bucket in to an elephant trap by super gluing a sticky bun to the bottom of the bucket.
74	Add teeth with an overbite and an unwieldy tongue to your bucket. Cut hole in bottom and use it as an odd sounding megaphone. Congratulations, you've made your bucket lisp.
75	Use your bucket to make and repair shoes. Bucket Last.
76	Give your bucket ears. Then make your bucket listen...
77	Get your bucket extremely hot and use it to pop corn. Sell the "Bucket-kist" popcorn to passers by.
78	Fill buckets with soil, add a few flowers and start your new career as a guerilla gardener in Edinburgh
79	Fill your bucket with gorillas! Okay, maybe not
80	Do the stick and bucket dance
81	Use the bucket to hide from the gorillas after you tried to shove them in there.
82	Use your bucket to do a impression of the pail rider
83	Put bucket on head, hold plunger appropriately and recite many bad dalek puns.
84	Take 3 buckets and one kitten, switch around and see if people can find the kitten.
85	Give the bucket to Schindler - it's his list now.
86	Put a saddle on your bucket and try to balance things on it until they all get kicked off.
87	Use your bucket as inspiration for your new book - a hundred and one things to do with a dead bucket
88	Nail your bucket to a perch. Try to convince someone it's still alive and sell it to them.
89	Attach rubber shark fin to the bucket and let it out to float near some bathers. Scare the bejesus out of them by yelling "EVERYONE OUT OF THE WATER!".
90	Wrap it in wrapping paper and give it as a Secret Santa gift. Even if it's not near Xmas.
91	Put a scale on the inside of the bucket and use it as a rain gauge.
92	Attach bucket to pulley washing line and use as a cat transport system.
93	Mix a large amount of cake batter in your bucket. Put the cake batter in orange peel shells and bake in a campfire.
94	Take several buckets, and use them to create palisades around an area, and a divider in the middle. Then, give two of your friends buckets and horses, and have them joust. Voila: a bucket list.
95	Invent a new sport. It must use at least one bucket. Get a minor celebrity to play the sport.
96	Get some ice in the bucket and chill some champagne in there. Now isn't that classy?
97	Fill bucket with water and a fish. Freeze. Sit at someone's pond and pretend to be ice fishing.
98	Sit on your bucket outside someone's house. If anyone asks what you're doing there, tell them you're waiting for the bucket line to form for the house fire. Look impatiently at the not-at-all-on-fire house.
99	Write fire on the side and fill with sand, maybe a few seashells too.
100	Kick the bucket. You have now finished your bucket list.

With additional, unnumbered, suggestons to both persuade someone else to kick my bucket, and to take this on the road as a fringe show.

(Some of these references are undoubtedly a bit culturally specific. Feel free to ask if you want to know.)