Review: Bruce Almighty

[andrewducker]

INT: A studio producers office. Two studio execs are sitting on opposite sides of a very expensive desk.
Gary: Money.
Roger: Money.
Gary: Money, money, money.
Roger: Money!
Gary: More money!
Roger: Good point. But how?
Gary: Pitt?
Roger: Busy being Greek hero.
Gary: Cruise?
Roger: Busy being a samurai. Anway, both too expensive. We need someone who doesn’t want all the money for themselves.
Gary: Someone who used to be very popular but went off and got arty and hasn’t had a hit in a few years?
Roger: Someone who has a definite image we can use. And for goodness sake, someone uplifting and funny. The kids want wacky and zany and goofy.
Gary: Got it. Jim Carrey!
Roger: Perfect. Now, what to do with him?
Gary: Well, it needs to be a remake of something good. Something guaranteed to bring in loads of money. Oh, and something moral, a learning experience, someone who turns their life around, stops being mean and learns to be nice. The state the economy is in, people want more niceness in their lives.
Roger: How about Groundhog Day – that had Bill Murray learning how to be nice. He starts off as a disgruntled reporter, forced into doing goofy news segments and hating his life, gets trapped living the same day over and over, uses it to his own ends to get everything he can, realises that what he really wants is the girl, learns how to be nice, realises that by being nice he can make people like him and gets the girl in the end.
Gary: Well, I like it. It’s got everything we need for a feel-good hit. It’s a bit recent to just do a remake though.
Roger: No problem, we just file off the serial numbers and mix it up a bit. We just need to change the central shtick. Rather than getting whatever he wants through not having consequences for his actions, we just give him whatever he wants?
Gary: What, a genie in a bottle? Too Arabian.
Roger: Good point. Hmm, how do we give him whatever he wants…?
Gary: Ring of Wishes, Virtual Reality, Fairy Godmother, Guardian Angel, Chinese Curse,
Roger: Stop! That’s it! How about taking Guardian Angel, but pushing it up a level?
Gary: Up a level?
Roger: We’ll make him God!
Gary: I like it, it’s blasphemous, but funny. It’s the Santa Clause only more so.
Roger: We’ll need someone with gravitas to play God.
Gary: Morgan Freeman.
Roger: And someone cute to play the put-upon woman who he wants to love him.
Gary: She needs to be sad, but funny. Who does sad well?
Roger: My wife forced me to watch The Good Girl. I don’t remember much about it, but Jennifer Aniston sure looked sad all the way through. And she’s funny in Friends.
Gary: I think we’ve got a hit on our hands. We’re going to be in the money!
Roger: Money!
<3 months later&rt;
Int: the same room, but now there’s a scriptwriter sitting with them.
Gary: We love the script.
Roger: It’s great.
Gary: Amazing.
Roger: Only…
Steve (shrinking slightly in his chair): Yes?
Gary: It’s not goofy enough. People love Jim because he’s goofy. He’s got the wacky face and the silly catchphrases. He’s goofy and we need to use that. This ‘Bruce’ character just isn’t goofy enough. Make him goofier, punch him up with a few catchphrases and make sure people know they’re watching goofy Jim Carrey. It’s what they want!
Steve: But he’s already whiny, the only reason people liked Bill Murray in Groundhog day was because he was whiny/sarcastic. If he’s whiny/goofy he’ll just come off as an idiot. Nobody likes an idiot.
Gary: But people love Jim Carrrey. Trust us, pump up the goof factor and the kids’ll come a flocking.
Roger: Oh, and this sad girlfriend. We like her, but she’s not nice enough.
Steve: Not nice enough? But she’s friendly and warm and sweet.
Roger: Yeah, but we need something big, so the kids can tell she’s extra-special.
Gary: Make her a teacher, with young kids. Young stupid kids that need her to stop them doing wacky stuff, like eating glitter. Oh, and so extra nice that she, I dunno, gives blood or something.
Steve: Isn’t that overdoing it a bit?
Roger: With the kids these days you can’t overdo it. Just pump up the nice and the sad and you’ll carry them along.
Steve: But…
Roger: Look, here’s some more money.
Gary: Money!
Steve(discontentedly): Money.

Rating: 6/10 (for some funny, wacky stuff when it all gets going, and some good ideas that are sadly wasted)

ObQuotes:
Bruce Nolan: How do you make someone love you without changing free will?
God: Welcome to my world.
---
God: Well, now I guess you can't do anything now that you're dead.
Bruce Nolan: I'm DEAD?!
[pause]
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce Nolan: That is NOT funny!
---

Comments

[diffrentcolours]

I was very much looking forward to this film when I first heard about it, but when I heard it was closer to "Liar Liar" than "The Truman Show", I abandoned all hope...

[andrewducker]

I liked Liar Liar, but then I thought that Liar Liar was much better done than this.

[protempore.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my review could be summed up in half of yours: "some good ideas that are sadly wasted" . . . the concept had a lot of potential. The delivery utilized nearly none of it, the only redeaming elements were the ocasional good laugh.

The wife and I downloaded it, and were later glad we didn't waste the money on a theatre experience.