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Re: Stiff upper lip after all?
Date: 2011-08-23 12:33 pm (UTC)However, perhaps it's to do with how much a person first and foremost identifies with being clever/intellectual above what they do with it.
The unhappy intelligent people I know are mostly there because they've used their intellect to talk themselves into foolish things or out of good things; or because they've focussed their intellect inwards and never come out.
They see themselves as being analytical, cynical or introspective, but increasingly I see a cleverly constructed smokescreen to justify being risk averse and/or lazy.
The unmotivated or understretched aren't going to be cured by talking about how unmotivated or understretched they are. They need to pull their fingers out, try out new long term goals, or get a change of scene.
For example:
"I have been depressed for months, and do not know what to do with myself, what should I do?"
A few years ago I'd have said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Nowadays, I'd select from the following: "Get off the damned PC and get more fresh air and exercise. Try some new hobbies. Take a break and do something different for a few weeks. Consider different careers or a new job. Read something different. Listen to different music. Go to some gigs. Revisit old hobbies. Stand up to your partner or parents. Dump the toxic friendships. Get out of the rut. Stop wallowing. Move on. Take responsibility for your self and your happiness."
Does that make me a better or a worse friend?