I think I'm burned out.
I've been trying to get myself worked up to the point where I can take part in more political stuff, and I just can't generate any enthusiasm. The idea of putting lots of effort into something that isn't going to have a pay-off fills me with exhaustion.
And I'm fairly sure this has rubbed off on work as well. Where I'm still getting things done, but my energy and enthusiasm has dropped to a low level. So if someone has a question or short task then I'm on it without a problem, but I'm just not getting through things at the speed I used ti.
I'm not sleeping badly, but I'm tired all the time.
You may even have noticed that I'm not actually posting much at the moment. The link posts are carrying the journal along, but I haven't felt like posting any content in a while.
It's my birthday in a week, and if you asked me what I wanted, I'd tell you a month off from _everything_.
Not sure what to do about this.
I've been trying to get myself worked up to the point where I can take part in more political stuff, and I just can't generate any enthusiasm. The idea of putting lots of effort into something that isn't going to have a pay-off fills me with exhaustion.
And I'm fairly sure this has rubbed off on work as well. Where I'm still getting things done, but my energy and enthusiasm has dropped to a low level. So if someone has a question or short task then I'm on it without a problem, but I'm just not getting through things at the speed I used ti.
I'm not sleeping badly, but I'm tired all the time.
You may even have noticed that I'm not actually posting much at the moment. The link posts are carrying the journal along, but I haven't felt like posting any content in a while.
It's my birthday in a week, and if you asked me what I wanted, I'd tell you a month off from _everything_.
Not sure what to do about this.
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Date: 2011-08-12 09:40 pm (UTC)It may be worth actually seeing a doctor (something I've been avoiding for too long), and you can even get signed off work for a compulsory break.
The first stage in getting over something is to accept there's actually a problem, and I'm still running from a few I think.
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Date: 2011-08-12 10:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-08-13 03:21 pm (UTC)Can you take time off from work and get out of town for a bit on your own?
Watching dumb comedy movies sometimes helps me if my brain's in a stress-loop and needs switching off for a bit.
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Date: 2011-08-13 09:04 pm (UTC)But yes, brain-dead comedy does sound like a good plan!
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Date: 2011-08-12 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-12 10:39 pm (UTC)I can see why you're feeling politically apathetic! Me, I have no idea who to vote for anymore, and am beginning to feel out of sync with the population at large.
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Date: 2011-08-12 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-08-12 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-12 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-12 11:50 pm (UTC)Probably obvious but possibly helpful:
1) Can you actually take some time off from everything, or at least as much as possible, to do fun resourcing stuff? And do you know what said fun resourcing stuff would be?
2) How much exercise are you doing?
3) Can you meditate? If so, it may be worth trying it regularly for a week. It's tedious but it works.
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Date: 2011-08-13 12:25 am (UTC)Take a month off from everything, maybe? :p
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Date: 2011-08-13 10:08 pm (UTC)@Andrew: *hugs* I'm sorry it's hard for you at the moment, and hope it gets better soon.
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Date: 2011-08-13 06:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-13 07:25 am (UTC)(Maybe for your birthday we can all get Andy costumes, and then take it in turns to each be you for a day. You'd definitely get a fortnight off like that! Nobody would know the difference, honest!)
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Date: 2011-08-13 08:18 am (UTC)Chill, its autumn, its slowing down time.
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Date: 2011-08-13 09:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-13 10:13 am (UTC)I'm trying to up my exercise but other than that, I can only agree with other people suggesting getting checked out at the doctors and taking some time off from work if at all possible. I hope you feel better soon.
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Date: 2011-08-13 11:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-08-13 05:33 pm (UTC)A month off from everything. Just take it. It's for your health, mental and physical. You do NOT have to go til you drop - that may take longer than you ever imagined and leave you in a non-recoverable state.
I am deadly serious. (though I'd say more like 6 weeks - 3 months)
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Date: 2011-08-13 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-13 05:38 pm (UTC)but nowhere near as bad as the thought that we're stuck with this lot unless we go independent.
which means I have to trust that the people around me are capable of self-governing.
I /want/ to believe that, but
sheeeeeeeeeit
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Date: 2011-08-13 07:03 pm (UTC)They probably thought I was crazy, but I grew sick of all that crap, (especially TV.)
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Date: 2011-08-13 07:37 pm (UTC)I think the order of service is roughly as follows:
(1) Rest and self-care, for best possible local values, which is probably a set with a high variance. The important thing is doing the best you can to put it first, on a daily basis. If you can take a month off from everything then tant mieux; if you can't then do what you can do.
(2) Worry about everything else later. Political energy etc. will become clear when you have got some resources to deploy.
I am up between 3rd and 10th and hope we can meet up at some point. But don't worry if you can't face it.
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Date: 2011-08-13 08:56 pm (UTC)Time off isn't likely to help at the moment. I'm looking forward to a proper holiday when Julie's PhD is over!
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Date: 2011-08-14 10:37 am (UTC)When this happened before, you planned to have days or weeks where you relaxed, and you're still doing this.
If you're making month-in-advance schedules where Monday you're doing X, tuesday doing Y, Wednesday is relaxation day from 7pm to 10.30pm (and by relaxation you mean you need to watch episodes of TV show A and B on that day in order... of course you're running the risk of burning out. Especially if some of the things you're doing for fun have no real reward for you.
If you're making a rigid schedule (since this is the impression you give) where your "relaxation time" is booked in and already filled with a specific activity, are you actually relaxing?
I'd suggest stop planning your "evening of not doing much" and m aking them into scheduled events, and instead trying to actually not do anything. I have got the impression though that you don't like not having plans for a given day.. but you could try it?
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Date: 2011-08-14 10:40 am (UTC)I have been leaving large gaps in my schedule. But having time at home isn't really helping, because I'm not finding spending time at home terribly relaxing at the moment.
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Date: 2011-08-15 08:52 pm (UTC)Living with someone who works from home is hard. I was impossible during my master's, I know, and Chris is sometimes tricky between his PhD and the composing, and that's nothing like as intensive as Julie's degree. When home becomes a place where you can't relax (even if it is temporary and necessary), it really starts to feel as though you're under assault with no refuge.
So my advice is: find a refuge. That means various things to people, so while I could offer up suggestions they'd be guesswork. Hugs and sympathy regardless.
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Date: 2011-08-15 10:00 pm (UTC)