De gustibus non est disputandum

[andrewducker]

[Poll #1609611]

via gonzo21
List from here (along with ten worst - two of which I liked).

Comments

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

I don't get the Gary Delaney one. No doubt I'm about to feel very foolish!

[drdoug.livejournal.com]

Took the plank for a walk, with a collar and leash? Or Dave would have wanted a lifebelt to be saved from drowning?

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

The former - aaaaaah! thanks :-)

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

It's a play on the two phrases, "walk the plank" and "walk the dog". Leading with "walk the plank" leads one to expect a pirate joke or a tale of children's make-believe, but the joke immediately and surprisingly transitions into a different cliche (I'm so poor) which sets up the right dissonance for the joke. Add in the mental image of a poor kid dragging a board behind him on a leash, and that it'd indeed be cheaper than owning a dog but of course missing the whole point of pet ownership, and voila, humour.

-- Steve hopes he hasn't over-explained.

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Possibly, maybe, a little bit :-) but thanks!

[anton-p-nym.livejournal.com]

From the "10 worst" list at the link provided:

Emo Philips: "I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them."

Oh, c'mon... I laughed at that one harder than a lot of the supposed "10 best".

-- Steve knows humour is personal, but geez...

[draconid.livejournal.com]

Nope, I agree, definitely one of the funniest!

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

I thought that was the best one too.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

I liked more of the bad ones than the good ones. Maybe because I give them the benefit of the doubt on delivery?

[simont]

I saw that article in the Indy at lunchtime. Oddly it mentioned they'd done this by first preparing a shortlist of 24 and then getting those voted on – so in addition to the ten "best" and ten "worst" jokes, there must have been four in the middle which were too medium to be remarkable. I can't help thinking being one of those four would have been worse than being in either of the lists of ten :-)

[heyokish.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering whether they got the lists the wrong way round.

[ipslore.livejournal.com]

I don't get the last one.

[andrewducker]

Some pubs don't have numbers on tables, they allocate you a number when you buy your food, and you then get a wooden spoon with that number on it which is placed on your table (preferably in something that makes it stand upright so it can be seen by wandering serving staff).

[draconid.livejournal.com]

Although if you go to our local you don't have anything to stand it upright in so you end up waving it about and looking like a fool

[pigwotflies.livejournal.com]

That was the only way that made me LOL. But then, I'm biased towards Gareth's jokes cos I was at school with him. And had an embarrassingly huge crush on him for a while.

[andrewducker]

Your secret is safe with me!

[bracknellexile.livejournal.com]

If it's any consolation, I stared at the last one and went, "Huh?" for quite a while before I remembered being in one pub about 10 years ago that worked as Andy says. Talk about an obscure joke. Maybe I go to the wrong sorts of pubs (thankfully).

[johncoxon.livejournal.com]

There are two restaurants near to where I live that are in the Michelin guide, and the chap who owns them has recently bought and re-opened a pub that has been empty for a couple of years or so. He has an excellent wine list and cocktail menu and always has at least four real ales on tap (including a honey beer brewed especially for the pub!). He also does a range of 'pub grub'. His pub uses that system to get food to tables. Why you'd be thankful you've never been to a pub that does damn fine food and damn fine drinks, I'm not sure... Your choice, I guess.

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

I didn't get that one until the explanation either. Also, I don't know (and can't be bothered to Google) who Vanessa Feltz is. But the rest were hilarious.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

List isn't numbered. Didn't vote on second question.

[andrewducker]

Bet it took you longer to type that than it would have taken you to count to (maximum) 5 :-p

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

Well no, count to 10 to identify each one. And then pick them. Oh I see what you mean. Er.

[andrewducker]

I was thinking "Pick favourite" and then count to top or bottom, depending, and that gives you your number.

I did realise that I'd left the numbers off just after I hit post, but three people had voted by then, so it was a bit late to change it.