Would a rouse by any other name have thorns?

[andrewducker]

[Poll #1532122]

Comments

[andrewducker]

The answer to the final question is, of course "Entirely up to them."

[henriksdal.livejournal.com]

that's why I ticked GOOD

[andlosers.livejournal.com]

An answer marked CHOICE would be good here. It's GOOD if it's their choice, BAD if it's imposed on them, etc. No moral absolute!

[andlosers.livejournal.com]

And as an aside, although I've grown to love it, I would never expect anyone to take Werdmüller von Elgg as their surname.

(Mind you, that'd still be true if my surname was Smith.)

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Need an Other option for the fourth one because I firmly believe it's a matter of personal choice. I didn't take Chris' name, but why shouldn't someone if they wish to?

Also, what about men who take their wife's surname? I know several couples where that happened.

[drdoug.livejournal.com]

My parents chose my names before I was born, but then added an extra family name a week or two after the birth (but before Official Registration) under family pressure. Which almost happened again when my first child was born, except I am even more stubborn than my father so I managed to resist. Except I did give it to my second child.

Oh, and I don't really count it as changing my name, but I was universally known Douglas from birth until I left home, and as Doug more or less thereafter, which was a change I instigated. Mainly because it suddenly occurred to me in my first few days at University that I could claim to be called anything and people would call me that, and I got carried away with the excitement of that nominative power. Not carried away very far, mind.

[andrewducker]

A friend of mine did the same when he changed university to start his PhD, changing from Henry to Hal.

[simont]

It is of course entirely up to the woman in question, but I voted BAD on the basis that I wouldn't want to do it myself. (In the unlikely parallel universe, that is, where I'm a woman and also imminently getting married but have exactly the same personality and values as I do now.)

When I first became aware as a child that women didn't have to change their name on marriage if they didn't want to, I instinctively assumed most of them would jump at the chance to avoid what seemed to me like a substantial inconvenience. In the years since then I've experienced ongoing mild surprise at how many of the marrying women I know have nonetheless chosen to take their husband's name without (as far as I know) any specific pressure to do so. I've more or less got over the surprise now, but I still wouldn't say I understand the motivation.

[andrewducker]

The one I've heard most is having the same name as their children, and a unified name for the family.

[jinxremoving.livejournal.com]

Basically this.

And on a related-enough note, I just phoned to open a bank account, and got asked whether I'm Miss or Mrs. In this day and age, that's still the default question, and half the time they apparently mishear me when I specify Ms ...

[cybik.livejournal.com]

If I get married to someone with a better surname than mine I'd take it, because I don't like my surname. I don't dislike it enough to change it otherwise, mostly because I don't want my parents to feel like I'm rejecting them. Also, I'd go by Ms, rather than Mrs, I think.

[lpetrazickis.livejournal.com]

I prefer delegating my name changes to various governments. I've gone from LP*trazhycki to LP*tražickis to LP*trazickis without lifting a finger.

[lpetrazickis.livejournal.com]

I did want to change my first name to "Triceratops" when anticipating the move to Canada at age 11, but fortunately no one asked me for input.

[e-halmac.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to clarify that I changed my surname for two reasons:
1) I got married
2) My cousin married someone with my first name, and she took his surname. If I had still been the only Emma Halford-Macleod in the universe I'd probably not have been inclined to change my name upon marriage.

Although it certainly isn't BAD for women to change their nae upon marriage, I too am surprised at how many women do it. I think it is outdated, and ALOT of hassle for no legal reason, unless - like us - you both want to change your name. Firslty, its fair for both parties to do it! And in our case it was a sign of two families joining to make a new one, and it makes me really happy to share our new name with J.

[d-c-m.livejournal.com]

Women taking their husband's surname
Is entirely up to them and neither good nor bad. Just an individual choice. :)

[draconid.livejournal.com]

Not answered the last one. It's certainly a matter of choice. I think I'd take my husband's name if I got married, but then I'm not sure that I even want to get married.

If, however, I was going to have kids, I'd definitely marry and change my surname. Simply because it's easier for the kids.

[draconid.livejournal.com]

Interestingly, one of my colleagues changed both her first and surname on marriage - which is the tradition of her husband's religion/culture.

[goldrose.livejournal.com]

My name was chosen ahead of time. If I had been born ON Christmas, I would have been Noelle. Since I was 4 hours late, I was named after St Nicholas and my grandfather (also Nicholas), thus Nicole. I use Nikol for signing art, but never formally changed it. I would feel like I'm insulting my mother if I changed it at all, IMHO. I would change my surname upon marraige to a man. It's tradition. I see it as a good thing. But I don't dislike my maiden name. If I were to marry a woman, we would discuss how we'd do the whole last name thing lol.

[channelpenguin.livejournal.com]

My mum picked a name. Then they called me something different, same with mt sister. I guess when I turned up I didn't look like a Vivien...

[xquiq.livejournal.com]

I think I would prefer to retain my surname, although it is a man's name, in that it belongs to my father, not my mother. It's the name I've had for almost 30 years though & the name I work under, so changing it would be a reasonably big deal. I suspect this wasn't so much the case when women married younger or were less likely to have careers (as distinct from 'jobs').

One thing that infuriates me is numerous company's insistence in referring to me as Mrs alienspacebat. We've been doing up a house. I tend to organise builders & thus I also tend to write the cheques. Given that I have instructed them in my own name, used my own name in correspondence & paid them in my own name, I boggle at the fact that a single meeting with alienspacebat is usually sufficient to get them calling me Mrs K.

What's perhaps evening more annoying, however is their persistence in calling his number & asking for his decisions when I am the one organising the work & as far as they can know, paying for it.

What's insteresting is the one company who did call me when alienspacebat was the contact, were looking to bully us into admitting they were right, get me to retract statements and / or contradict alienspacebat. Their excuse was 'they reasoned I would be at home more & have more time'. Oops.

My name was picked before I was born...on the basis that I would be a boy, like the previous 4 generations of my father's family & all my paternal cousins. Suffice to say that when I appeared, 'Christopher James' didn't seem so apt.

[andrewducker]

Yup - Julie and I have weeded out a couple of work-people because they treated her as ignorant and easily fed nonsense. I won't work with people that are like that.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

"My parents chose my (original) name before I was born"

Does that cover cases where your parents have both a boy's and girl's name ready? I imagine that would be so for all our generation who were born pre-ultrasound.

[matgb]

I'm not sure that they chose the specific name before I was born, but I'm fairly sure they chose the initials.

They owned an MGB car for some while before I was born, and definitely had it 9 months before I was born.

I always used to say this as a joke with no actual idea, but Mum pretty much confirmed it to Jennie while we were visiting and they saw one out walking...

(oh, Jennie was prepared to take my name, I told her I didn't want her to unless she really wanted it, and any kids will probably get both names and get to choose when they're older)

[ias.livejournal.com]

Being of a Scots family, my parents went down the traditional route of naming their first born girl after the paternal grandmother (and in my case the maternal grandmother as middle name - it's my mum's middle name as well). My paternal grandmother died before I was born but she'd always said that she didn't want anyone called IsAbel after her because she hated the diminutive, Isa. So my parents tossed up between Isobel and Ishbel, both scots alternative versions of Isabel. They pumped for Isobel in the end.

I remember them choosing my sister's name (named after her aunts): they made a short-list and then let me (aged 7), choose the final name. Thankfully Kirstie was a girl because I hated their choices for a boy.


As for taking your husband's surname, I put bad on the grounds that women shouldn't be expected to take their husband's name (and in may societies don't and it doesn't seem to have done them any harm) but obviously the choice is their's and their's alone. As for confusing the children - really, in this day and age with the number of 'blended' families?

[yalovetz]

Didn't answer the second question because it's still up in the air. I'm waiting to see how tricky it gets before I make a decision about whether a name change will become necessary.

[0olong.livejournal.com]

Much as I find your WRONG ANSWER/OTHER WRONG ANSWER dichotomy-polls mildly irritating, it seems odd to me that more people don't just skip that question, which is quite easy to do.

I'm quite in favour of people changing their surnames to whichever one is better when they get married, or coming up with a combination. Especially the combination option. I'm still slightly disappointed my oldest brother and his wife didn't go with 'Von Murray' when they got married.

[andrewducker]

I still think you should have gone for Mur-Ray.

And I don't know why more people don't answer either. Tis baffling to me.

Thanks for the data on the irritatingness of the dichotomy polls - you're the second person to complain in a week. I'll try something different next time round.