Very cool, if true

Heh soooo, what made you ask this? :)

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green-amber.livejournal.com

Toe clipping!

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oh he was doing that in front of me after 8 hours together... i thought it was kind of sweet, it's so personal/intimate. Kind of like flossing.

i can't imagine not being able to masterbate in front of my b/f or husband. How terribly sad.

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... really? :D Was he clipping onto the carpet? Coz that I get.

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Nope, small careful pile on the edge of the bed (where I was sitting) tha t I then picked up and put in the bin...

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Oh.

Well that's remarkably trivial.

Was this the first time your partner realised you had toes?

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*stunned silence*
Why, _why_ did you only learn how to do this _now_?
I still have a scar from where you pinged me with one of those monstrosities.

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wolfieboy.livejournal.com

I think that I _have_ done all of these things. But then shy is not the word that comes to most people's minds when they describe me...

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thefirethorn.livejournal.com

I would do them all in front of my husband (after being together for 14 years there's not much we can't do in front of each other.) But I can't sing in front of him, even a stupid song on the radio, because he criticizes my singing.

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That's just cruel! People should be encouraged to sing/dance!

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Not you.

(sozz :D )

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The number of people who polled 'won't masturbate, squick!' made me glum.

These people live half lives.

Y'all can fiddle in my front room any time, k?

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I was more susprised by people who won't walk around naked, or bathe.

Who's worried about being seen naked/damp by the person they're sleeping with?

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rainstorm.livejournal.com

I hate being seen naked.

But I'm not going to answer the poll.

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kashandara.livejournal.com

There's a difference between being naked together at the same time and involved in distracting/opinion changing activity and just -being- naked in front of someone.

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I'm not suggesting havign naked beauty pagents in front of them, but worrying about them seeing you naked seems a tad....neurotic.

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kashandara.livejournal.com

And any of your friends being neurotic surprises you because?

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I'm not suggesting havign naked beauty pagents in front of them

LOL

Yeah i agree. And i'm still perplexed by the fact that he won't pee in front of me (unless he's drunk.) i mean, how many times have i seen the little guy!?!?

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That's peculiar too!

I thought, as a culture, we'd slightly gotten over the 'turn out the lights' mentality.

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Actually...it's a little harder if you have boobs. And a little harder again if they're big. They look so different out of the bra, and they wobble...I've had people who were genuinely shocked by how different my 'unstrapped' body looked.

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I know. Very sad, really. I mean, not watch porn or masturbate with partner...that just removes a whole chunk o' fun from your lives, right there.

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Mmmm I didn't think women generally watched porn.

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Oh dear.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

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Please don't mock my naievity! I've only just stopped being a Christian!

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*pet*
Well then if you ever need help with women/sexuality/choosing porn for your date, you know where to find me.

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i love porn!

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I suppose I kind of picked up an idea that maybe women don't like sex all that much - or maybe that they don't have any particular interest in it, only really men do.

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Did you get this idea from ex's or your mother or movies?? It seems women *should* have a healthy interest in it... i know i do.

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None of those.

My ex (singular) and I really really fancied each other sexually and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together (we were engaged and for complex and incredibly damaging reasons broke up a few weeks before our wedding day) - we were together for about 18 months but although we wanted to we didn't have sex.

My mother is a nightmare (in terms of being embarassed). I once brought a girl back when I was at school - she was just a friend yet afterwards my mom sat me down and said she didn't mind us having sex in the house as long as we used condoms! How embarassing!!! Of course no girls I knew ever came within 1 mile of my mother... She also isn't a Christian.

The movies? Mmm... They seem fairly neutral on the subject although the man usually initiates things.

No - I would say it's something I generally picked up from "the church", both what I was taught (more subliminally I must say) and what I picked up from the Christian Union at University. In all honesty I should say that they never directly taught this, it's just what I picked up - so I'm not really damning the church as much as I might be damning my own idiocy while I was there (although I suspect it is a mixture of both).

I think in theory women having an interest in sex is something that is great, that's what I'd want (I think) in a gf (if I were ever to have one!), I suppose I'm afraid of the man eating kind - at least at present I don't want to be eaten!

I'm also struggling with the way that sex is treated by some (perhaps most?) as a non emotionally involving recreational thing. I mean sure people can use it like that if they want, but I've been taught that it has such a powerful emotional effect that I wouldn't want to remove that value from it. That's not to say that I think it's wrong for others to use it in this way, more just that I don't want to fall into that kind of thing right now - as I what I really want is to feel loved whether that is with sex (unlikely) or without.

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Well i must say that was an excellent answer. i'm sorry it didn't work out with your fiance... i too obtained many ideas (mostly slanted and incorrect ideas) from my church about men and women and relationships. i'm still trying to deal with what all that means.

i was SO unbelievable sheltered and shy growing up (a tiny conservative religious school for 11 years tends to do that to people) that i didn't start dating until i was 21. And even then, it wasn't the good kind of dating.

Can i assume you're a virgin still? i think that's wonderful and waiting for an intimate relationship, one that will include respect and love, and won't trivialize sex is commendable. i joke about porn all the time, and i even enjoy looking at naked bodies, but sex really is a gift.

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Well i must say that was an excellent answer.
Thankyou for saying so :0)

Can i assume you're a virgin still? i think that's wonderful and waiting for an intimate relationship, one that will include respect and love, and won't trivialize sex is commendable. i joke about porn all the time, and i even enjoy looking at naked bodies, but sex really is a gift.
Yes I am still a virgin.

I would like to be in a relationship that is based on care, love, support, and understanding of one another, one where my love for her is not dependant on her love for me - the love being an act of care for the other person not based on "what I get out of it". I would say now that sex should probably be a part of the relationship, but I'd want that sex to be the physical expression of that love - not something more trivial. In principle I wouldn't have a problem waiting (months, years?) to have sex with a girl if I loved her - the sex wouldn't be the important thing (although maybe it would become important as it would be one of the most intense ways of expressing that love).

The world outside of the church is disturbing for me because people don't seem to think of sex and relationships in this way. It is quite heartening to hear you talk about the importance of sex and relationships in this kind of way - I was wondering if I was the only one who held to these strange ideas!

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oh i'm happy to say you're not the only one :)

So you don't attend church anymore?

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oh i'm happy to say you're not the only one :)
... that is still a virgin? Are you saying you're a virgin too?

So you don't attend church anymore?
Errr generally, no I don't... I've been going to a course run by the Christian Union (Christians at the University) to determine if Christianity is true or not, the conclusion I've pretty much come to is - not. I've gone to church a few times when the people I met on the course invited me, I thought I'd give it a go - see if anything convincing was said/occured. I've written about this quite a lot on my journal (I would provide links but the memories feature is offline).

Why are you so interested in my church attendance etc? :0)

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I'm not AT ALL religious but I am widely sexually experienced and I'll agree - sex can be a really transcendent experience - certainly the closest I have felt to how people describe religious experiences.

I have to add that it *can* be that without love, without any real emotional attachment at all - a pure thing of the body and of the senses, and is no less joyful for that.

At least for me.

I hope you follow your own way and have some of your own experiences be as wonderful.

Of course it's not *always* like that, the way not every meal is fantastic, or every party tremendous or every workout 'in the zone'.

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The majority of my girlfriends would have disagreed with you. Also the majority of my female friends.

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I think you may have been jesting with us :-)

But in the case you were not:

Women do like sex. Some of them like it a LOT. Some of them like it a lot more that most of the men they know. And a LOT of men are, in the normal way of things, far less interested than is rumoured.

Real people of all sexes have lots of other interests that tend to eat up all the time they aren't actually asleep.

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I'm honestly not trolling, I'm being honest.

I should say that it's not fair to say that the church taught me these things (directly) so much as I inferred them. I lived a pretty sheltered life before I went into the church - so probably a lot of other people there don't have the same assumption.

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Cool. I just wasn't sure. I suppose that being female myself gives me a different viewpoint :-)

My most succinct statement that expresses my opinion on the subject is "Sex isn't a game and it isn't a currency."

Unfortunately too many people seem to treat it as one or the other (or some combination of both).

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catamorphism.livejournal.com

What fun is porn if you can't watch it with your partner(s)?

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... I guess downloading it is fun. Or perhaps I mean OCD-satisfying.

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I *really* wish porn was *any* fun at all. But it's just not. Maybe because I don't enjoy being a passive observer at anything, and reality is always better than just the thought.

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dougs.livejournal.com

Some of these are compulsory.

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red-cloud.livejournal.com

Probably TMI, but ...

C and I have a double-headed bath specifically so that we can bathe comfortably together, i.e. no one gets the taps. She always gets out before I wash my arse, though.

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What do you do with your arse thta she can't watch? heh

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green-amber.livejournal.com

OOh I wish I had one of those. That is my dream idea of decadence. I would stay in bath (or equiv warm water) for the rest of my life given the chance I think (I think I was a fish in a former life)

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greengolux.livejournal.com

I ticked 'dance' because I don't dance. It's not a matter of not wanting to do it in front of other people, it's a matter of not enjoying doing it.

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