Emotional Upset

[andrewducker]

So, my Dad asked me last night to give him a call today to do a bit of research for him.

I called him about half an hour ago and he asked me to dig up some information on an LCD projector and find somewhere near him (in Devon) so he could talk to them about it.

I checked about and called him back 5 minutes ago.  Told him that there wasn't anyone terribly useful nearby.  He told me that he'd tried to get hold of a number I'd given him in the original phone call, but they weren't answering, probably because it's Sunday.

Then he told me that his mother had died, peacedfully in her sleep, 10 minutes ago.

She was 94, born in 1910.  Austrian Jewish, she'd been lucky enough to be a reporter in Paris when Hitler invaded.  She married a Czech airman who was heading to Britain to join the RAF, had two children by him (including my father), divorced him, married again, had another child, raised them, watched her grandchildren grow up and said every Christmas that this one would be her last and that she she felt like a drain on her family, to a chorus of disagreement from her loving children, grandchildren and assorted in-laws.

This Christmas will be the first one I won't see her at.

I don't really feel anything yet.  We were never terribly close, but she's been in my life for 32 years.

I'm glad she went peacefully.  I'm glad her eldest son was there.

I  can't think of anything else to say.

Comments

[tisme.livejournal.com]

Ah. She was an incredibly cool old lady. I shall remember my visit to her house for a long time. Much love, hon.

[trav28.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your loss...

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathies...

[original-aj.livejournal.com]

I lost my Granny just before Christmas '02 and my Nan in Spring '03. I can empathise with your "not feeling" 'cos it got me like that at first. It's hard to know how to react - someone's always been there. but not terribly prominent. I find that I'm doing my mourning in installments, as odd things remind me of them. Like your post for instance....

Sympathy and support.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

Hugs.

[derumi.livejournal.com]

My condolences.

[redshira.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about that. It's good she went in her sleep, though.

[red-cloud.livejournal.com]

Commiserations to yourself. Hope your dad's OK.

[bibliofile.livejournal.com]

Cool grandmothers are a good thing. My condolences.

[laserboy.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear it, mate. Hope you're okay.

[rahaeli.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your loss, but I'm glad that your grandmother had a long, fulfilling life and that the last bits of it were peaceful and quiet. May she find peace, and may your family find healing.

[lproven.livejournal.com]

Condolences.

My last grandparent - maternal grandma - died in about 1990. Some 2-3y after her only child. That's not good. I am riddled with guilt still, for not giving her more time; she so richly deserved it.

[andrewducker]

I never spent a vast amount of time with my grandmother. We never had enough in common and I never felt comfortable enough around her. I do feel slightly guilty about not writing more, but I don't think that blaming myself for not having lots in common with someone is worthwhile.

[lproven.livejournal.com]

[Nod] To each their own. When I did make the time to sit and talk to her, it was good. She was both far enough removed from her childhood and more saliently her teens, and yet, in her twilight years and with the onset of some senility, closer to them, so that she could understand me and talk to me about life, girls, popularity, friendship, all that rubbish that seems so important when you're 14-17 or so that later just fades into the background noise. We communicated at a level that I never could do with my parents -- and I had noone else, no siblings or other grandparents or even *really* close friends.

She was very precious and important, as I was to her -- her only living descendant, in her last few years -- and I didn't give her enough time.

Letters... Hmmm... I didn't write to her much, but she did write to me for a long time. When I was in Africa, she bought my favourite comics every week - 2000AD, natch, and "Cheeky" - and sent them to me, faithfully, every week for more than 4 years. Every one included a tiny letter.

Gah. Feeling a bit sniffly now myself.

I raise a virtual toast to grandmothers.

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

You know that's so funny.

I was telling Andy about my only grandparent I was really close to at all - my father's father, who came to have shabbas dinner with us every Friday night and baby-sat me on Saturday night a lot of my childhood. he'd been widowered early - unusual - in fact it was his wife I'm named for - she died almost exactly as I was born. So he must have outlived her a good ten or twelve years at least.

But when we lived in Barrow in Furness away from all conceivable family (till I was 6 and my siblings were 11 and 13) every week he sent us a care package from Glasgow of comics and sweets, just like you say. I got Bunty a and Tammy and June and Schoolfriend. But he also sent me American comics - Legion of Superheroes and the like - in the days when they came off boats as ballast. He was the one in my family who read sf. He came from Russia on the boat from Kiev at the age of 2, no formal education, worked as a tailor, made a small fortune by the mores of the times gambling on cards and bridge and shares, won every bridge cup going. Has a cup named after him. Sent his only son off to be a doctor. If I get my brains from anywhere it's probably there.

I should have writen about him before.

[lproven.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a great chap!

In some ways, I think, for most of us, a grandparent can be a /friend/ in a way that a parent usually cannot. Close, but not too close; far enough away to dote without having to put up with any of the shit, and far enough in time from their own children to actually quite enjoy it in a nostalgic way.

My paternal grandad died before I was born; my maternal grandmother, a firece and forbidding woman, when I was about 7. I never got on with her; nor did my dad. But my maternal grandad lived to see me, just - he died when I was under a year, IIRC. He had 5 daughters -- one already dead by then, I think -- and about 3 or 4 granddaughters by then.

I was his first ever male descendant.

I am told he wept for joy at the news, and for the last few months of his life, I was his absolute pride and joy.

I wish I'd been able to get to know him.

[andrewducker]

To grandmothers!

[lproven.livejournal.com]

[Clink]

[dragonscholar.livejournal.com]

You don't have to say anything. I just hope all works out the best it can.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[cloverbee.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother.

~sending peaceful thoughts to you and your family~

[moniqueleigh]

My sympathies to you & yours. I get the not really feeling anything yet. As someone else mentioned, it'll probably sink in over time, in stages. That's how deaths of grandparents have hit me.

And that's the way I want to go: in my sleep, quietly, with my loved ones nearby.

[broin.livejournal.com]

Love to you and yours.