Relationships

[andrewducker]

[Poll #330788]

Comments

[derumi.livejournal.com]

Yeah! If she changed the "dumping me" part, things might've been swell! : p

What was ironic was the guy she went dumped me for (best friend) eventually did the same thing to her. Gah.

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Pity I didn't have the vision to change too.

Day late and a dollar short, as usual...

[derumi.livejournal.com]

I think that's pretty typical, though. By the time I was ready to tell that gal everything she wanted, it was too late. At least I've stopped kicking myself for it (outside of jesting).

[allorin.livejournal.com]

I've been out with every permutation of that....

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think I'd date anyone who wouldn't be great even if they changed key aspects of themselves. And I don't think I've ever dated anyone who was absolutely perfect.

It seems like what you're looking for is "can people change?" And the answer is, of course, but they have to really want it for themselves, not just for you. And you have to realize that just because they change, doesn't mean they'll change into what you were hoping for.

[themongkey.livejournal.com]

Unless you regard being a liar and a cheat as a couple of things that can be changed...

[xquiq.livejournal.com]

I think most people would like to change something about their partner or themselves. The question I ask is if I can live with them not changing: if the answer's no then I'm not going to hang around waiting for them to change.

That said, if someone acknowledges a behaviour which I don't like and says that they are willing to or wish to change it themselves, I expect them to make some kind of effort. I'd rather someone told me that they were simply not going to change than paid me lip-service. I suspect that's mainly because people paying me lip-service is one of my pet peeves though, in romatic or platonic / professional relationships.