History Lesson

[andrewducker]

After the battle we survey the field.
We examine the lay of the land and look at where the corpses lie.
We see who has survived and who has not and we recreate the situation as it never happened.

Smooth graphics show curving lines as forces swept from point A to point B.
Confused, muddy situations become clear, clipped statements of fact. As time passes the events become smaller and simpler still.
Eventually we are left with a single statement to encapsulate the most complex of events.

"Wellington defeated Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo."

"Jack the Ripper killed several prostitutes in Victorian London."

"Erin and Andy broke up."



It finished when we got together - a doomed relationship between two people that just didn't fit, although we had a lot of fun trying.

It finished in Whitby, in Edinburgh, in London, in Derry, in huge swathes of stress that brought Erin to her knees and me to the edge of exhaustion.

It finished six months ago, when Erin dumped me. A desparate move to give her space to breathe.

It finished three months ago, when she explained that despite the fact that we still acted like a couple, we definitely weren't one.

It finished two months ago, when I told her I had become fond of Lilian and shortly thereafter we found ourselves a couple again. Two events at once connected and disconnected.

It finished ten days ago, when I dumped her.

It finished two days ago, when I told her that I was going to go out with Lilian.

It will never be over.

Comments

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

Life gets very complicated, doesn't it? And painful. And difficult.

I'm sorry about you splitting up with Erin, and pleased about you and Lilian. Sympathy for the first, happy thoughts for the second. Both at the same time, oddly enough.

[andrewducker]

I'm sorry about you splitting up with Erin, and pleased about you and Lilian.

Me too, on both counts.

[cx650.livejournal.com]

Some wise man or other is reputed to have said that we all have three great loves in our lives. We don't necessarily get to meet all three, but they're out there somewhere. It would seem that Erin is one of yours. Hopefully your new lady is another. Best wishes to you all.

[autodidactic.livejournal.com]

Going through similar back and forth myself, I know how horrible it can be for both parties.

I figure the best thing for us to do is to fall in love, truly, with someone else. Trouble is, you can't when you've got a 'complicated thing' going on. At least I can't. I'd rather not be the recipient of more drama on top of everything else.

Here's hoping that everybody stays sane throughout this transition.

I love you both. Good luck.

A.

[darkoshi]

i didn't realize you had gotten back together again inbetween then and now. i thought you had simply been living together amicably the whole time. oh well, good luck to all of you.

[sylphigirl.livejournal.com]

for a man who generally shows little to no emotion (to me at least) i am genuinely moved by the clarity with which you are able to express the sheer vagueness and hurt and love and bollocks that relationships entail.

[andrewducker]

I do have lots of emotions, although you're right, I don't show them much, especially around people I don't know terribly well.

And thanks for the compliment - I was very proud of the way I wrote that - I wanted to get across how I felt - the general sense of frustrations and loss.

It's an unfortunate, horrible situation, but one that I think is necessary. I hope it turns out all right for all concerned.

[missedith01.livejournal.com]

It will never be over.

I understand that that might make for difficulties and pain and occasional sleeplessness, but I think that also means you're very lucky. There surely aren't many relationships in life where you can truly say "this will never be over".

Here's to longevity. :-)