(no subject)

[andrewducker]

The delightful Mil Millington talks about Alyson Hannigan:

It seems that people are increasingly finding themselves compelled to come up and tell me that Alyson Hannigan has now married. And then to give me a sympathetic hug.

Well, everyone, I am perfectly well aware that Alyson Hannigan has married someone or other. This, for the more naïve of you, is what's called 'Playing hard to get.' It is, in fact, such a transparent come-on that I'm almost embarrassed for her that she's throwing herself at me in this manner. I mean, flirting with someone else to pique my interest - fair enough. But to go so desperately far as to *get married*? Pft. She might as well take out a newspaper advert saying, "Mil, I want you with a cruel yet wonderful ache that binds and dizzies me. Come to me now and make me whole." Mightn't she? *Marrying* some bloke? It's beyond even any kind of 'the lady doth protest too much' thing and practically into the realms of guileless pleading for my affections. If I weren't so anxious about how her esurient pursuit of me was making her look in the eyes of the world, then a slight smile might swoop across my face as it does when she coquettishly feigns not knowing my name but then I
open an envelope one morning and 'Oh, but you amazingly appear to have remembered it to have this restraining order drawn up, eh, Alyson?'

So, please don't give me your misplaced condolences. Save your sympathy for the poor sap - I don't know who he is; probably some tramp hired for a few dollars - whom she's married merely as a way of attracting me.

Though it's clear that Alyson Hannigan and I are meant to be together, I am, currently, still going out with Margret, due to a technicality. Now, Margret is very attractive. Blond, admittedly, but very attractive despite that. One might imagine that this would give her a little insight into the imperatives of physical aesthetics but, apparently, it doesn't. Margret came up to my room here in the attic the other day and noticed a couple of new pictures of Alyson Hannigan on the wall - pictures of Alyson Hannigan walking around while lightly dressed.

'Is that Willow?' she asked.

I've been with Margret for around sixteen years now and so the natural affection I've built up prevented me from saying, 'No, it's not "Willow". "Willow" is a fictional character. *That* - in fact - is your successor.' Instead, I merely replied, gently, but firmly, 'Don't touch the glass - you'll leave smudges.'

Margret touched the glass repeatedly and then, very much in the manner of someone who wasn't about to say something utterly without sense or reason, shook her head before sighing, 'Why would she pose for photos like that?'

'*What*?'

'Why would she pose for photos like that?'

'Because... *look* at her. It's like asking why Turner painted or why Austen wrote. If *I* looked like that I'd spend my whole day in a mirrored bathroom with a camera. I'd owe it to myself and to the world.'

Margret's understanding of Art is sadly blinkered.

Comments

[fire-sermon.livejournal.com]

Did she marry Alexis Denisoff I wonder...?

[thefirethorn.livejournal.com]

yup. Her wedding pictures are on line somewhere.


This was very funny. Who is Mil Millington ?

[andrewducker]

Look up "things my girlfriend and I argue about"

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

I just hope that the underwear shots aren't the ones that I saw where her extreme utterly brainless, helpless, pleading, doe-eyed expression makes Emma's best puppy-dog eyes (which were a damn fine example) look like the glare of a rabid hyena. The fact that anyone finds that expression attractive scares me deeply.

[andrewducker]

The fact that anyone finds that expression attractive scares me deeply.

Me too.