Life with two kids: Toilets and Transport

[andrewducker]

One of the big advantages of nursery was that we paid a set amount every month and the kids were looked after Monday-Friday 8-6 (not that we tended to be that early or late unless 99% of the time, but the option was there). And now Sophia is in school, so holidays are a time of scrambling about looking for options to keep her amused and busy so that we can both work.

This summer she's been to two weeks at the Commonwealth Pool (which does an hour of swimming every day, an hour in the soft play, and then a variety of crafts, outside play, etc. for the rest of the day, depending on the weather). There have been a variety of other kids there from her school, depending on the day, which she's enjoyed a lot.

Next week she's doing a week at Dancebase where they'll be putting on a musical performance of Matilda (I have no idea how that will go. I'm 50:50 on whether she'll throw herself into it and have fun, or if she'll bounce off of it entirely. Fingers crossed). Then a week at a holiday club doing a variety of exciting things (including street dance, the National Museum of Flight, martial arts, and a trip to a castle).

And then a week's holiday for the four of us, my two brothers and their families, and my parents. 13 people and two dogs, somewhere near Bath. And then back for more holiday club (Fringe, Zoo, a hill, and a day of "water activities" where we've been told to give her a change of clothing), and then back to the pool for the final two days!

All of which is dotted around the city, and means that I'm spending about 3 hours a day commuting back and forth. And, obviously, costs a fortune. Next week should be easier, as the place is kinda between home and work.

The other news is that toilet training with Gideon is going well! We thought there would be a lot of fighting, but he got the hang of things quickly, and we've had an average of one accident every 3 days, which really isn't bad. He's clearly trying, and they only happen when he gets too distracted. I'm delighted with how much he clearly cares about it, and how proud he is of being "a big boy". This even makes up for the night when I had to change a bed at 2am.

Comments

[rhythmaning]

It sounds like Sophia is having a lot of fun. It almost sounds worth being six again!

(It does make me wonder why I'm not doing some I'd those things, since I could ...!)

[andrewducker]

I'm fairly sure you do go up hills and around castles fairly regularly!

[mountainkiss]

This made me shout with laughter.

[rhythmaning]

I've just posted another comment which might interest you, but I can't fit the life of me remember the html to use to tag you!

[threemeninaboat]

I think from you? I learned when you make the bed to make 2 layers of bed! Mattress pad: sheets: plastic sheet. Sheets: blanket. So when the top layer gets puked on you just whip everything off and go back to bed.

[andrewducker]

It's certainly a useful thing to do should you find yourself in charge of someone whose bodily functions aren't reliable.

[snippy]

It's an entire generation later (my kids are 34 and 39) and they still don't have a good handle on what to do when kids are out for the summer! I'm actually shocked. The work of putting together a patchwork of solutions like the ones you describe is entirely on parents who are already busy. At least it's going well for you so far.

[gingicat]

My sympathies on all the travel. Wishing you luck.

Huzzah for Gideon!

[rhythmaning]

Your post got me thinking about how things have changed in the last c 60 years. I'm going to comment both here and DW! And *none* of what I say is intended as criticism, particular not of you but neither anyone else.

I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. Both my parents worked after I was seven or so (and my brother was ten). We had au pairs but only for a couple of years.

For large periods of time, notably summer holidays, my brother and I were left to our own devices. *Nothing* was organised. There weren't after school clubs or summer clubs. (Not strictly true: I joined the local tennis club when I was 16.)

We and other local children would play in adjoining gardens or wander Hampstead Heath, playing extended games of cricket (limited structure and going on for weeks).

My brother and I would spend days seeing how far we could go on the tube and buses - you could buy tickets that have unlimited travel for a day. We would meet my mother at her office in the West End so she could give us lunch, travelling unaccompanied on the tube. We would go to the cinema (you could stay all day - there were cinemas which showed cartoons on rotation [no daytime tv back then!]).
A little older - 11 or 12 - I would spend days exploring the Science Museum and Natural History Museum by myself. (I didn't do into art galleries until I was a student!) Christmas holidays were spent going to the Royal Institution lectures (which, I admit, my mother *must have* organised!).
I accept my brother and I were probably painfully precocious, and my parents behaved in ways which would probably have them reported to social services nowadays. And also I'm sure my nostalgia is seen through deep-red tinted glasses. And the summer weather really was better every year back then!

I think being allowed to get bored was quite important to learn, as was making up ways to counter it!

[andrewducker]

So your parents worked from 7, and you had au pairs for two years. So you were looking after yourself from 10?

Which is about the age that lots of holiday clubs top out.

Sophia already roams the street with friends in the evenings. Gideon will be doing that to in a year or two (I supervise right now).

By 9 I'll be fine with them roaming the extended neighborhood. By 11 the city (together or with a friend).

[rhythmaning]

Excellent! :)

[mountainkiss]

Yes, this does interest me, thank you.

[channelpenguin]

Purely for nostalgia... when I was a kid in the 70s, we lived in a large town just outside Glasgow. My mum didn't drive and we'd not much budget for anything organised for me and my 2 yrs younger sister. Some years my mum was working, some only part time (mornings and evenings as a cleaner usually, or later, morning shifts in a factory). The local state primary school ran a very cheap summer club for younger kids, and when you were about 12 (maybe it was 14?), you then could get paid £12 a week to be looking after the wee kids in it!. A fortune! Which I probably spent on Irn bru and fruit gums. I spent a lot of time in the library. I also recall doing a nature club at the local country park for at least a week most years, and music / drama clubs for a couple of years too.

I was roaming the neighborhood and surrounding countryside on foot and by bike since I was 7 or 8, sometimes with my sister in tow, but usually alone. I wasn't that great at making friends with kids, she was better, and we 2 didn't especially get on with each other. I just liked being out in nature on my own, even if that just meant up a tree in an old field border behind the primary school. Other kids did horse riding or sailing (too expensive) or just roaming about (training for their later careers as juvenile delinquents and petty criminals).

My maternal grandfather sometimes came to stay to look after us. He was pretty unsocial as I recall, though he always brought us sweets :-). My paternal grandparents never looked after any of their 4 grandchildren ever, despite having a car.

My partner's kid here in Berlin is just roaming the city on his own this year at 12, so that seems to fit with what Andrew imagines for his kids in Edinburgh. Matteo is a bit dreamy, so that's a year or so later than most kids here, and younger ones often get to go out and about with older siblings, but he's the oldest. His grandfather and wife have loads of family things going on most of the time, but aren't infinitely available as she still works as a GP.

The same age group seems to out and about here in the country, with small groups of kids on bikes and scooters amusing themselves most of the day.

[andrewducker]

Sophia goes out unsupervised in the street in the evening at age 6. 9 is just fine for roaming the local area. 12 to roam the city is fine.

But at age 6 she's not trustworthy to wander far and wide across the city. Her understanding of location, reading and numbers aren't there.