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andrewduckerNote: I'd heard of this, but it took me ages to track down - eventually bumping into a Reddit comment that pointed me at an archive on the Wayback Machine, which was still a faff to extract it from. So I'm sticking a copy up here so I can find it again when I fancy.
Background: Dark Souls is really designed to be played with the wiki open. Not that you can't do it without, you totally can, but only if you're willing to either miss large chunks of the game or to spend over 100 hours trying lots of combinations of things, or playing the game multiple times to try things in different orders until you find the one that triggers a particular series of events. It really is designed with the idea that people would explore and share their experiences in mind. A post-GameFAQ game, if you like. The first people to play Dark Souls were a bunch of journalists. They had no wiki. What they did have was an email chain going where they exchanged information about how they were doing and what they'd discovered, to help each other through. This is their story:
Go ahead and call us game reviewers, but we saw ourselves differently. We were the first scouting party. We had no clue what we were doing.
Since From Software's masterful RPG hadn't been released yet, there were no wikis or strategy guides to consult for guidance. But we'd been taught as kids that it was dangerous to go alone so a group of us agreed to stay in touch by email and support each other in the struggle against a game that's both brutally hard and wilfully, bafflingly opposed to telling you how to play it. If a tree chews you to death in Darkroot Garden, costing you 12,000 souls, and there's nobody around to hear your lamentations, is there any therapeutic relief in that? We decided there was not.
At first it was just three of us. Then more drifters gradually joined our fraternity. By the end, we were ten strong. It didn't matter that we represented competing outlets. We were the journalistic equivalent of the travelling party in Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, a ragtag collection of different races who didn't typically work together until they realised the sky was about to crash down on their heads.
Being among the first handful of people in the world to experience Dark Souls is a dubious sort of privilege. Like being an infantryman in 1944 discovering you'll be part of that first wave off the landing craft onto Omaha Beach. We'd all played Demon's Souls so we knew the sequel was going to be a bloodbath, but we'd volunteered for this because we wanted to be the first to explore the Lordran, the new world. We wanted to be the first to die there, and by extension the first to untangle the mysteries of how not to die. IGN's Keza MacDonald, who initially floated the idea of banding together, would also be the person to give it a name: The Chain of Pain.
The first thing you need to understand is that there are two basic types of Dark Souls players - explorers and tourists. The explorer doesn't mind journeying without a map, because they realise that, just as in real life, explorers are the only reason maps came to exist in the first place. They leave the bloodstains that the tourists who trail behind will tiptoe nervously around before continuing on their way. The tourist, meanwhile, cares primarily about reaching their destination, following walkthroughs like turn-by-turn directions. In their mind, the journey is a formality. They play for the trophy, not the thrill of competition.
One of the things that makes Dark Souls so special is that it assumes you're an explorer. It feels good to have a game assume that you're brave, up to the task at hand. But it's more than that. Dark Souls is one of the few contemporary games in which it's even possible to have the experience of true exploration. We've gotten used to waypoints flashing on our minimap. Or if the game senses you dallying in one location too long, a text hint will appear onscreen or, worse, another character in the game will spit out a piece of dialogue meant to steer you back on track. Dark Souls has no truck with such things.
The thing that struck me most when I went back and started re-reading the email exchanges in the Chain of Pain was how painstakingly slow and incremental the progress was on that first playthrough. Being left mostly to our own devices, we were forced to think, strategise, rehearse, pry off the game's locks with the crowbar of sheer persistence. Most of us would burn at least an hour on the Taurus Demon alone - the very first post-tutorial boss in the game - without realising that a simple exploit of his attack pattern can make him feel about as threatening as one of Fable's Hobbes. I'm glad I had to struggle. The victory was sweet. When he paid out that soul bonus, it felt like wages I'd earned from an honest day's work.
----
The Chain of Pain also helped us understand how dependent we were on each other. Sometimes even the most hardened adventurer has to ask for help, and there's no shame in that. But when we needed to consult someone, it was a friend, not some impersonal web article or video. A rumour that you could spare Great Grey Wolf Sif once he started limping, thereby inheriting his enormous blade, circulated among us like kids on a 1980s playground hearing that a friend's cousin's classmate had successfully leaped clear over the flagpole in Super Mario Bros. Dark Souls is potentially the most social game you will ever play, and experiencing the struggles alongside friends is a bonding ritual.
I arrived at the most sullen emotional plateau of my experience with Dark Souls after sustaining multiple curses from the fog-spewing basilisks in The Depths. I didn't know how to cure myself. I thought I'd have to cut my losses after nearly 60 hours invested and start again. It's the closest any game has ever come to breaking me. The game told me I needed to visit a healer in New Londo Ruins but I didn't know where that was. It felt awful to not know the way, to feel incapable of knowing. But it was also the most intimate struggle I've ever had with a videogame.
After venting despair over my curse predicament to PC Gamer's Rich McCormick, a fellow Chain of Pain member, he explained that the New Londo Ruins were actually right beneath Firelink Shrine - the very first bonfire you reach after you finish the tutorial. As much time as I'd spent there, I never noticed the stone staircase weaving around the side of the cliff just a few steps away from the bonfire. Hiding in plain sight. I'd been a lazy explorer.
Knowing where to go, however, is only part of the struggle. I then spent maybe six hours trying to reach the roof of the ghost house in New Londo Ruins to have my curse removed. With just one-quarter of my health bar still intact, I could sustain only one attack from the ghosts; a second blow killed me. Despite my persistence, I never successfully reached crimson-robed Ingward. I eventually shot up a rescue fare on Twitter and, after a while, some beautiful stranger pointed me to the priest in the Undead Parish belltower who sells purging stones. Watching the red streak once more fill up my HP bar felt like blood flowing back into the circulatory system, like mercury rising in a briefly frozen thermometer.
I'll let your eavesdrop on the Chain of Pain begin at precisely this moment in my playthrough. You should know there aren't just in-game curses populating this thread. As you might imagine, in a game as trying as Dark Souls, there's abundant cursing of the four-letter variety also. If you're squeamish about that sort of thing, maybe don't read any further. What follows is merely a sampling of the thread, which got absurdly long by the end of the two weeks or so that it lasted. There's an avalanche of spoilers in what you're about to read so, if you've never played Dark Souls, leave a bookmark here and return later once you've experienced it for yourself.
The Chain of Pain isn't just moping and pleas for guidance either. There's levity here as well. In the bleakness of our Lordran adventure, we needed to keep laughing, if only at our own ineptitude. Dark Souls doesn't get enough credit for its slapstick humour. When you roll out of the way of an enemy's attack and go tumbling off a high ledge, the game's creator Hidetaka Miyazaki expects you to giggle.
One final caveat, you'll notice plenty of typos in these exchanges. I've chosen not to correct them. We guessed at the spellings of places, characters and enemies. For instance, you'll notice we confused the word 'Artorias' with 'Astoria'. In a very real sense, it's indicative of the fact that we were always guessing. The only thing we knew for certain was who was on the other end of the emails we flung like life preservers into the cold sea of cyberspace.
----
Jason Killingsworth (18 Sep 2011, 22:18)
"I'm fucked-er than fucked because in these sewers beneath the Lower Undead Burg, some bug-eyed frog creature cursed me and I lost half my health bar. Then I went back and he cursed me again and now I'm at a QUARTER of a health bar. A message popped up onscreen after my cursing saying I have to find some purging stone to remove the curse or visit a healer in some place called Londo or something. Can't remember the name since it's a place I haven't discovered yet. Not sure how much this is going to halt my progress, but it doesn't bode well. I should take a picture of my health bar and email it to you just so you can appreciate how shit my life just became."
Rich McCormick (19 Sep 2011, 00:41)
"I'm trying to work out in which order you're meant to do the stages. Coming to the sad realisation the game doesn't want you to do any of them, it just wants to sit above you and launch apple cores at your face while going "ner ner ner." Every new enemy fills me with dread. I used to think the cape knights were bad, but I can usually get rid of them without taking damage now. Bar the rapier/buckler ones, anyway, who seem more erratic and unsuited to my pokey man. Even those tree-men started off bad: I got too close to one and he chewed my head from my neck."
Jason Killingsworth (19 Sep 2011, 13:43)
"I think I can see the curse healer on top of the church in New Londo Ruins. Haven't quite gotten to him yet. He better be the healer OR ELSE."
Matt Lees (20 Sep 2011, 21:31)
"In the garden area now - found and killed a third black knight in the sunken garden area, and got an amazing shield that vastly boosts stamina regen time. Seems like there's some sort of fishy boss down there though - it's pretty hardcore."
Rich McCormick (21 Sep 2011, 11:14)
"Ah, ghost house. I've not even tried to kill them yet - just sprinted past them to get juicy items. Going to try the same trick along that spit of land off to the right of the first double-ghost this evening, then just kill myself to keep the delicious item. Whatever it is. I'm aiming to head down into the Lower Undead Burg now, using the key from beyond the butterfly. Or down into the Darkroot Basin. I feel fucking invincible with my new bow/stabber. It even kills ghosts. I AM SO HAPPY."
Matt Lees (Wed, Sep 21 2011, 12:37)
"I have just killed the gargoyles and I am fucking SHAKING."
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 15:57)
"I love, love, love the way that Dark Souls (and Demon's before it) not only encourages but actually requires this kind of communication. I'm a fair bit behind now - trying my bestest to own the gargoyles, but no luck. I have yet to investigate the garden, so I reckon that's my next stop. Rich, I'm playing similar to you, but don't have a good bow yet. :( How many hours are we all at? I'm struggling at 9. Hit a proper brick wall with Taurus, he took me a good six hours to kill."
Rich McCormick (21 Sep 2011, 16:09)
"I've got about 16 hours under my belt. Still not attempted the gargoyles properly - they're just too tough without a stock of hefty arrows."
Oli Welsh (21 Sep 2011, 17:21)
"Hello! Wow, I'm nowhere. Talk to me about Humanity. As in, why would I cash it in apply it to my character, rather than just keeping it as items for when I want to reverse hollow/kindle? And what is the point of reverse hollowing, apart from being able to kindle?"
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:35)
"Hey dude - I'm not sure, yet. There might be some bonuses to having lots of humanity, but at the moment it only seems important for kindling. Could be that this is the new light/black tendency stuff - but i'm leterally just guessing..."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:36)
"LETERALLY"
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 17:38)
"This FUCKING BUTTERFLY is doing my head in :( Keep getting it down to about 1/5 health and then losing the timing for the dodges, or falling victim to her death beam."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:47)
"Yeah, timing the dodges takes a few tries to get nailed. Remember to switch to double-hand when it lands!"
Jason Killingsworth (21 Sep 2011, 18:16)
"I'm just now spelunking in the catacombs now and it's testing me at level 40+. I'd recommend saving it for later. They just dangle it in front of you at the start of the game to fuck with you.
My biggest time sink so far has definitely been the frog curse (little buggy-eyed shitheads). Spun my tyres for an entire day trying to get to the remedician on the roof of the ghost house in New Londo Ruins with a quarter of my health bar. Then I got cursed a third time and it halved again to an 1/8 of its original length, which meant a single hit would kill me. Fortunately I'd already killed the gargoyles so once I got the tip from a kind stranger on Twitter about the guy in the bell tower of the Undead Parish, I eventually managed to get through the knights and undead mob without taking a blow. DON'T GET CURSED.
I'm currently stuck on a Shadow of the Colossus-sized fire demon called...wait for it...Ceaseless Discharge. Sounds like a black metal band."
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 18:26)
"Alright. 12 hours in (8 of those today). Level 22. Taking on the Gargoyles right now. Feels like a fair fight until the second one comes along. Anyone got a good tip for these guys? I've been just hacking away at the first one's testicles, trying to ignore the second one and its flame breath.
I'm now confident in a rogue/warrior hybrid playstyle. Found a very, very sweet set of magic swords and armour next to a huge skeletal dragon at Drake's Crescent (I think that's what it's called). Anyone been through there yet? I reckon I could probably take that dragon with about 800 arrows.
Jason, harsh luck on the cursing! Have you got a handle on how far through the game you are? It just seems to get bigger and bigger. I've been through Blighttown as a grinding break from the gargoyles, which has been giving me issues."
Keza MacDonald (Sep 21 2011, 18:29)
"Also! Anyone killed that sword wolf?"
Jason Killingsworth (21 Sep 2011, 19:07)
"Yeah, finally killed him this afternoon. Tough bastard. Spent ages figuring out a viable strategy."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 18:38)
"Currently grinding 4,000 to get this fucking curse removed. Tried running past the ghosts in Londo, but no chance. Don't like this curse stuff one bit - not a fair/fun addition :("
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 18:51)
"And! Does anyone know how to get magic? I've got a catalyst but no spells. I feel like if I just had a fire spell, everything would be okay. I think we all have to remember that this will be 10000 times easier when there is a population of other players to help out. Otherwise, to be honest, it's actually too difficult IMO."
Ryan Taljonick (21 Sep 2011, 21:50)
"For easy leveling up, I found what I believe will be the best farming spot in the game. I can net around 11,000 souls in ~5 minutes. First, you have to obtain 20k souls by farming wherever you can do so safely. Next, buy the circular crest from the blacksmith in the tower between Undead Parish and the Dark Forest. Unlock the door in the forest with it. You can farm the enemies inside by luring them to a ledge and kicking / attacking them till they fall off. For the ghostly enemies (you'll know what I'm talking about), they can quickly be dealt with by running back to the staircase at the entrance to this part of the forest. Stand between the staircase and the ledge next to it. For some reason, the AI makes the ghost enemies run up the stairs to try and fall on top of you. This will propel them off the ledge to their deaths."
Keza MacDonald (24 Sep 2011, 17:25)
"Urrrrrgh, God, Sen's fortress. Got the point where I can't even do the easy bits any more, my nerves are in such shreds. Can't get online either. Gutting :(. I'm really dispirited after four continuous days of this."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 13:49)
"About eight hours in and I've managed to link the starting area of Firelink Shrine with the Undead parish (elevator in the Gargoyles' church), the Dragon's bridge with the lower Burg (basement key found on the way to Gargoyles' church), and the lower burg with Firelink (the gate in the aqueduct where the zombie guy is selling poison remedies).
Game's really opening up now, and all the connections between areas are just beautiful. Really tight design. It's still cruel and unfair and a bit cheaty in too many ways, mind you - the enemies really don't play by the same rules as players - but the world is an impeccable piece of work. One of the best game spaces I've ever played in."
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 16:38)
" I'm going to have to throw in the towel, friends. I can't do Smough and Ornstein without help. With a decent helper, one of us on each boss, this fight wouldn't be so bad. As it is... just impossible."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 17:55)
"Unless I've missed something obvious, there's nothing in Darkroot for me besides three crystal golems and a seven-headed dragon who gobs water at me from the other side of the map. Advice welcomed."
Jason Killingsworth (25 Sep 2011, 18:00)
"Have you ground the 20K souls for the Crest of Astoria? There are some killer items in the part of Darkroot behind that enchanted door. The stone armour made my life much easier. Ok nothing in the game makes your life *much easier*. But it definitely made my life marginally kind of easier...relatively speaking."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 18:01)
"I don't even know what the Crest of Astoria is. Is there some trick to getting through the door or will that come later?"
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 18:03)
"The door is just a shortcut, don't worry about it too much - although it's a good grinding place if you're struggling. The way to Butterfly is just to the right of the door as you approach it. Although you're eventually going to have to do Capra Demon.
I'm now stuck in a mystical sky-castle, unable to go anywhere else and completely stumped by the DOUBLE BOSS at the end. Brutal."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 21:51)
"Okay, so if you attack the bird at Firelink Shrine, he takes it until half his energy bar is gone, and then he flies off towards the Undead Burg. I AM IN PURSUIT, CONTROL."
Rich Stanton (25 Sep 2011, 21:52)
"We got a runner."
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 23:17)
"DON'T KILL THAT BIRD! He takes you back to the Undead Asylum later in the game! You need that bird!"
Rich Stanton (25 Sep 2011, 23:22)
"I'd like to register an interest in whether the bird has been killed or not."
Jason Killingsworth (26 Sep 2011, 01:46)
"I just killed the first boss you encounter in the Catacombs -- a magician named Pinwheel who does the old familiar trick of splitting into three forms and making you guess which one to attack. Only boss I managed to kill on my first attempt. Then, of course, like every other stage in the game, it just opened up into some new area called Valley of the Giants or something where you're running along narrow platforms in the dark with only tiny specks of torchlight dotting the path. Typical Dark Souls sadistic bullshit. Good times."
Rich Stanton (28 Sep 2011, 01:00)
"I've restarted on 360 retail. Waltzed through the first section with nary a scratch, strode up to the Taurus Demon thinking 'this punk doesn't know who he's messing with', and his first baseball swing sends me flying perfectly through the narrow gap in the wall. Home run for Team Demon. When will I learn?"
Simon Parkin (28 Sep 2011, 12:50)
"Hey team DkS! Any tips on those BASTARD belfry gargoyles on the chapel roof? I get both of them down to about a third health and then they tag team me till the end of all time. Managed to cut the tail off one of them once too, which I'm guessing is how you get his magic weapon drop? I don't have any magic at the moment so am maybe thinking this could help me? Anyone know where I can buy some offensive magic or am I too early on for that? Any pointers gratefully received. XXXO"
Rich McCormick (28 Sep 2011, 12:53)
"Yo Simon! Save the sun knight in the church first, then turn human before you climb the tower. Sun knight will be summonable outside, and he distracts the gargoyles enough to let you swamp them with arrows or magic. I managed to take the first one down before the second one had finished his "I'm here" animation this way."
Simon Parkin (28 Sep 2011, 23:20)
"Thanks everyone! Took the Xbox offline, unhollowed and there was a summon sign right there waiting for me. Did it first attempt. KAPOW!
Helped that I'd just picked up a BADASS Drake sword drop from the red dragon on the bridge. You can shoot its tail off from underneath the bridge. 200 atk dmg as a base stat and a ranged heavy attack move. AMAZE.
Where is best to head now? Down into the creepy woods or back into the horrible town in an effort to ring the second bell?"
Mitch Dyer (29 Sep 2011, 01:53)
"Two hours of aimless exploring later, I've made no forward progress from the stone bridge (up high) bonfire in blighttown. I've climbed so many ladders. Where. Do. I. Go."
Keza MacDonald (29 Sep 2011, 02:03)
"When you spawn at that bonfire, turn around and head across the next stone bridge where the flame-dogs and skinless zombies are waiting for you. Beware the poison-dart snipers. You want to get down from there. You're looking for ladders down to the swamp below - once you get to the swamp, you're near the Blighttown area boss. (Oh, and beware of the swamp. It poisons you.)
I really hated this bit of the game. I got stuck there for hours too."
Mitch Dyer (29 Sep 2011, 17:59)
"Grinding and audiobooks : peanut butter and chocolate."
Keza MacDonald (29 Sep 2011, 17:33)
"There are other places to soul grind, later in the game, peeps. Don't worry about those gentle forest creatures. This whole thing is new to me! Am I the only person that couldn't bring themselves to grind for the Crest of Astoria?"
Rich McCormick (1 Oct 2011, 14:59)
"Blazing through Drake Island with arrows. Makes fights easymode. Did I dream someone talking about a secret door through a fake rock face too? I'm very worried I made that up."
Jeffrey Matulef (2 Oct 2011, 22:40)
"It's funny... I've been craving a good grinding spot, but now that I have access to probably the best one in the game, it feels like cheating. Now that I know it, I can't unknow it. After indulging by gaining 5 levels real quick and saving up for a couple spells, I figure I'm going to lay off it unless there's an absolute emergency and I need a purifying stone or something. I know it's stupid and my fault for looking into (and then doing) it, but I can't help but feel like it breaks the game a little bit. Like I was stuck at level 27 forever and anytime I'd have more than 3K souls I'd get nervous. Now I just think, "ah well, I can get those at THAT spot." Then again, maybe the designers put it in there on purpose to throw us a bone. I mean, why else charge so much to open a door that connects the toughest enemies to a bonfire? It's barely even a shortcut."
Rich McCormick (2 Oct 2011, 22:52)
"You're all far too moral, I spammed 100k souls earlier to buy myself a thousand poisoned arrows. The game's chucked all it's got at me; I'd be stupid not to hit it back with both brain-barrels."
Michael Gapper (2 Oct 2011, 22:59)
"Hey, I was level 61 before I hit Anor Londo thanks to that spot. Morality schmoralitschmy."
Ryan Taljonick (3 Oct 2011, 08:10)
"Well folks, after 100+ hours between all my characters, I'm happy to report I finally beat Dark Souls. Hooooly crap. What a ride. Have fun with the final boss. He's quite the jerk. Good luck!"
Simon Parkin (3 Oct 2011, 09:16)
"Gratz! New Game+ playing as Deprived beckons."
Rich McCormick (9 Oct 2011, 12:43)
"Has anyone had any luck with invading other worlds? I'm dressed like the grim reaper and wielding a semi-scythe thing, so of course I want to terrify some small child."
By Jason Killingsworth.
Background: Dark Souls is really designed to be played with the wiki open. Not that you can't do it without, you totally can, but only if you're willing to either miss large chunks of the game or to spend over 100 hours trying lots of combinations of things, or playing the game multiple times to try things in different orders until you find the one that triggers a particular series of events. It really is designed with the idea that people would explore and share their experiences in mind. A post-GameFAQ game, if you like. The first people to play Dark Souls were a bunch of journalists. They had no wiki. What they did have was an email chain going where they exchanged information about how they were doing and what they'd discovered, to help each other through. This is their story:
Go ahead and call us game reviewers, but we saw ourselves differently. We were the first scouting party. We had no clue what we were doing.
Since From Software's masterful RPG hadn't been released yet, there were no wikis or strategy guides to consult for guidance. But we'd been taught as kids that it was dangerous to go alone so a group of us agreed to stay in touch by email and support each other in the struggle against a game that's both brutally hard and wilfully, bafflingly opposed to telling you how to play it. If a tree chews you to death in Darkroot Garden, costing you 12,000 souls, and there's nobody around to hear your lamentations, is there any therapeutic relief in that? We decided there was not.
At first it was just three of us. Then more drifters gradually joined our fraternity. By the end, we were ten strong. It didn't matter that we represented competing outlets. We were the journalistic equivalent of the travelling party in Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, a ragtag collection of different races who didn't typically work together until they realised the sky was about to crash down on their heads.
Being among the first handful of people in the world to experience Dark Souls is a dubious sort of privilege. Like being an infantryman in 1944 discovering you'll be part of that first wave off the landing craft onto Omaha Beach. We'd all played Demon's Souls so we knew the sequel was going to be a bloodbath, but we'd volunteered for this because we wanted to be the first to explore the Lordran, the new world. We wanted to be the first to die there, and by extension the first to untangle the mysteries of how not to die. IGN's Keza MacDonald, who initially floated the idea of banding together, would also be the person to give it a name: The Chain of Pain.
The first thing you need to understand is that there are two basic types of Dark Souls players - explorers and tourists. The explorer doesn't mind journeying without a map, because they realise that, just as in real life, explorers are the only reason maps came to exist in the first place. They leave the bloodstains that the tourists who trail behind will tiptoe nervously around before continuing on their way. The tourist, meanwhile, cares primarily about reaching their destination, following walkthroughs like turn-by-turn directions. In their mind, the journey is a formality. They play for the trophy, not the thrill of competition.
One of the things that makes Dark Souls so special is that it assumes you're an explorer. It feels good to have a game assume that you're brave, up to the task at hand. But it's more than that. Dark Souls is one of the few contemporary games in which it's even possible to have the experience of true exploration. We've gotten used to waypoints flashing on our minimap. Or if the game senses you dallying in one location too long, a text hint will appear onscreen or, worse, another character in the game will spit out a piece of dialogue meant to steer you back on track. Dark Souls has no truck with such things.
The thing that struck me most when I went back and started re-reading the email exchanges in the Chain of Pain was how painstakingly slow and incremental the progress was on that first playthrough. Being left mostly to our own devices, we were forced to think, strategise, rehearse, pry off the game's locks with the crowbar of sheer persistence. Most of us would burn at least an hour on the Taurus Demon alone - the very first post-tutorial boss in the game - without realising that a simple exploit of his attack pattern can make him feel about as threatening as one of Fable's Hobbes. I'm glad I had to struggle. The victory was sweet. When he paid out that soul bonus, it felt like wages I'd earned from an honest day's work.
----
The Chain of Pain also helped us understand how dependent we were on each other. Sometimes even the most hardened adventurer has to ask for help, and there's no shame in that. But when we needed to consult someone, it was a friend, not some impersonal web article or video. A rumour that you could spare Great Grey Wolf Sif once he started limping, thereby inheriting his enormous blade, circulated among us like kids on a 1980s playground hearing that a friend's cousin's classmate had successfully leaped clear over the flagpole in Super Mario Bros. Dark Souls is potentially the most social game you will ever play, and experiencing the struggles alongside friends is a bonding ritual.
I arrived at the most sullen emotional plateau of my experience with Dark Souls after sustaining multiple curses from the fog-spewing basilisks in The Depths. I didn't know how to cure myself. I thought I'd have to cut my losses after nearly 60 hours invested and start again. It's the closest any game has ever come to breaking me. The game told me I needed to visit a healer in New Londo Ruins but I didn't know where that was. It felt awful to not know the way, to feel incapable of knowing. But it was also the most intimate struggle I've ever had with a videogame.
After venting despair over my curse predicament to PC Gamer's Rich McCormick, a fellow Chain of Pain member, he explained that the New Londo Ruins were actually right beneath Firelink Shrine - the very first bonfire you reach after you finish the tutorial. As much time as I'd spent there, I never noticed the stone staircase weaving around the side of the cliff just a few steps away from the bonfire. Hiding in plain sight. I'd been a lazy explorer.
Knowing where to go, however, is only part of the struggle. I then spent maybe six hours trying to reach the roof of the ghost house in New Londo Ruins to have my curse removed. With just one-quarter of my health bar still intact, I could sustain only one attack from the ghosts; a second blow killed me. Despite my persistence, I never successfully reached crimson-robed Ingward. I eventually shot up a rescue fare on Twitter and, after a while, some beautiful stranger pointed me to the priest in the Undead Parish belltower who sells purging stones. Watching the red streak once more fill up my HP bar felt like blood flowing back into the circulatory system, like mercury rising in a briefly frozen thermometer.
I'll let your eavesdrop on the Chain of Pain begin at precisely this moment in my playthrough. You should know there aren't just in-game curses populating this thread. As you might imagine, in a game as trying as Dark Souls, there's abundant cursing of the four-letter variety also. If you're squeamish about that sort of thing, maybe don't read any further. What follows is merely a sampling of the thread, which got absurdly long by the end of the two weeks or so that it lasted. There's an avalanche of spoilers in what you're about to read so, if you've never played Dark Souls, leave a bookmark here and return later once you've experienced it for yourself.
The Chain of Pain isn't just moping and pleas for guidance either. There's levity here as well. In the bleakness of our Lordran adventure, we needed to keep laughing, if only at our own ineptitude. Dark Souls doesn't get enough credit for its slapstick humour. When you roll out of the way of an enemy's attack and go tumbling off a high ledge, the game's creator Hidetaka Miyazaki expects you to giggle.
One final caveat, you'll notice plenty of typos in these exchanges. I've chosen not to correct them. We guessed at the spellings of places, characters and enemies. For instance, you'll notice we confused the word 'Artorias' with 'Astoria'. In a very real sense, it's indicative of the fact that we were always guessing. The only thing we knew for certain was who was on the other end of the emails we flung like life preservers into the cold sea of cyberspace.
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Jason Killingsworth (18 Sep 2011, 22:18)
"I'm fucked-er than fucked because in these sewers beneath the Lower Undead Burg, some bug-eyed frog creature cursed me and I lost half my health bar. Then I went back and he cursed me again and now I'm at a QUARTER of a health bar. A message popped up onscreen after my cursing saying I have to find some purging stone to remove the curse or visit a healer in some place called Londo or something. Can't remember the name since it's a place I haven't discovered yet. Not sure how much this is going to halt my progress, but it doesn't bode well. I should take a picture of my health bar and email it to you just so you can appreciate how shit my life just became."
Rich McCormick (19 Sep 2011, 00:41)
"I'm trying to work out in which order you're meant to do the stages. Coming to the sad realisation the game doesn't want you to do any of them, it just wants to sit above you and launch apple cores at your face while going "ner ner ner." Every new enemy fills me with dread. I used to think the cape knights were bad, but I can usually get rid of them without taking damage now. Bar the rapier/buckler ones, anyway, who seem more erratic and unsuited to my pokey man. Even those tree-men started off bad: I got too close to one and he chewed my head from my neck."
Jason Killingsworth (19 Sep 2011, 13:43)
"I think I can see the curse healer on top of the church in New Londo Ruins. Haven't quite gotten to him yet. He better be the healer OR ELSE."
Matt Lees (20 Sep 2011, 21:31)
"In the garden area now - found and killed a third black knight in the sunken garden area, and got an amazing shield that vastly boosts stamina regen time. Seems like there's some sort of fishy boss down there though - it's pretty hardcore."
Rich McCormick (21 Sep 2011, 11:14)
"Ah, ghost house. I've not even tried to kill them yet - just sprinted past them to get juicy items. Going to try the same trick along that spit of land off to the right of the first double-ghost this evening, then just kill myself to keep the delicious item. Whatever it is. I'm aiming to head down into the Lower Undead Burg now, using the key from beyond the butterfly. Or down into the Darkroot Basin. I feel fucking invincible with my new bow/stabber. It even kills ghosts. I AM SO HAPPY."
Matt Lees (Wed, Sep 21 2011, 12:37)
"I have just killed the gargoyles and I am fucking SHAKING."
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 15:57)
"I love, love, love the way that Dark Souls (and Demon's before it) not only encourages but actually requires this kind of communication. I'm a fair bit behind now - trying my bestest to own the gargoyles, but no luck. I have yet to investigate the garden, so I reckon that's my next stop. Rich, I'm playing similar to you, but don't have a good bow yet. :( How many hours are we all at? I'm struggling at 9. Hit a proper brick wall with Taurus, he took me a good six hours to kill."
Rich McCormick (21 Sep 2011, 16:09)
"I've got about 16 hours under my belt. Still not attempted the gargoyles properly - they're just too tough without a stock of hefty arrows."
Oli Welsh (21 Sep 2011, 17:21)
"Hello! Wow, I'm nowhere. Talk to me about Humanity. As in, why would I cash it in apply it to my character, rather than just keeping it as items for when I want to reverse hollow/kindle? And what is the point of reverse hollowing, apart from being able to kindle?"
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:35)
"Hey dude - I'm not sure, yet. There might be some bonuses to having lots of humanity, but at the moment it only seems important for kindling. Could be that this is the new light/black tendency stuff - but i'm leterally just guessing..."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:36)
"LETERALLY"
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 17:38)
"This FUCKING BUTTERFLY is doing my head in :( Keep getting it down to about 1/5 health and then losing the timing for the dodges, or falling victim to her death beam."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 17:47)
"Yeah, timing the dodges takes a few tries to get nailed. Remember to switch to double-hand when it lands!"
Jason Killingsworth (21 Sep 2011, 18:16)
"I'm just now spelunking in the catacombs now and it's testing me at level 40+. I'd recommend saving it for later. They just dangle it in front of you at the start of the game to fuck with you.
My biggest time sink so far has definitely been the frog curse (little buggy-eyed shitheads). Spun my tyres for an entire day trying to get to the remedician on the roof of the ghost house in New Londo Ruins with a quarter of my health bar. Then I got cursed a third time and it halved again to an 1/8 of its original length, which meant a single hit would kill me. Fortunately I'd already killed the gargoyles so once I got the tip from a kind stranger on Twitter about the guy in the bell tower of the Undead Parish, I eventually managed to get through the knights and undead mob without taking a blow. DON'T GET CURSED.
I'm currently stuck on a Shadow of the Colossus-sized fire demon called...wait for it...Ceaseless Discharge. Sounds like a black metal band."
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 18:26)
"Alright. 12 hours in (8 of those today). Level 22. Taking on the Gargoyles right now. Feels like a fair fight until the second one comes along. Anyone got a good tip for these guys? I've been just hacking away at the first one's testicles, trying to ignore the second one and its flame breath.
I'm now confident in a rogue/warrior hybrid playstyle. Found a very, very sweet set of magic swords and armour next to a huge skeletal dragon at Drake's Crescent (I think that's what it's called). Anyone been through there yet? I reckon I could probably take that dragon with about 800 arrows.
Jason, harsh luck on the cursing! Have you got a handle on how far through the game you are? It just seems to get bigger and bigger. I've been through Blighttown as a grinding break from the gargoyles, which has been giving me issues."
Keza MacDonald (Sep 21 2011, 18:29)
"Also! Anyone killed that sword wolf?"
Jason Killingsworth (21 Sep 2011, 19:07)
"Yeah, finally killed him this afternoon. Tough bastard. Spent ages figuring out a viable strategy."
Matt Lees (21 Sep 2011, 18:38)
"Currently grinding 4,000 to get this fucking curse removed. Tried running past the ghosts in Londo, but no chance. Don't like this curse stuff one bit - not a fair/fun addition :("
Keza MacDonald (21 Sep 2011, 18:51)
"And! Does anyone know how to get magic? I've got a catalyst but no spells. I feel like if I just had a fire spell, everything would be okay. I think we all have to remember that this will be 10000 times easier when there is a population of other players to help out. Otherwise, to be honest, it's actually too difficult IMO."
Ryan Taljonick (21 Sep 2011, 21:50)
"For easy leveling up, I found what I believe will be the best farming spot in the game. I can net around 11,000 souls in ~5 minutes. First, you have to obtain 20k souls by farming wherever you can do so safely. Next, buy the circular crest from the blacksmith in the tower between Undead Parish and the Dark Forest. Unlock the door in the forest with it. You can farm the enemies inside by luring them to a ledge and kicking / attacking them till they fall off. For the ghostly enemies (you'll know what I'm talking about), they can quickly be dealt with by running back to the staircase at the entrance to this part of the forest. Stand between the staircase and the ledge next to it. For some reason, the AI makes the ghost enemies run up the stairs to try and fall on top of you. This will propel them off the ledge to their deaths."
Keza MacDonald (24 Sep 2011, 17:25)
"Urrrrrgh, God, Sen's fortress. Got the point where I can't even do the easy bits any more, my nerves are in such shreds. Can't get online either. Gutting :(. I'm really dispirited after four continuous days of this."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 13:49)
"About eight hours in and I've managed to link the starting area of Firelink Shrine with the Undead parish (elevator in the Gargoyles' church), the Dragon's bridge with the lower Burg (basement key found on the way to Gargoyles' church), and the lower burg with Firelink (the gate in the aqueduct where the zombie guy is selling poison remedies).
Game's really opening up now, and all the connections between areas are just beautiful. Really tight design. It's still cruel and unfair and a bit cheaty in too many ways, mind you - the enemies really don't play by the same rules as players - but the world is an impeccable piece of work. One of the best game spaces I've ever played in."
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 16:38)
" I'm going to have to throw in the towel, friends. I can't do Smough and Ornstein without help. With a decent helper, one of us on each boss, this fight wouldn't be so bad. As it is... just impossible."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 17:55)
"Unless I've missed something obvious, there's nothing in Darkroot for me besides three crystal golems and a seven-headed dragon who gobs water at me from the other side of the map. Advice welcomed."
Jason Killingsworth (25 Sep 2011, 18:00)
"Have you ground the 20K souls for the Crest of Astoria? There are some killer items in the part of Darkroot behind that enchanted door. The stone armour made my life much easier. Ok nothing in the game makes your life *much easier*. But it definitely made my life marginally kind of easier...relatively speaking."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 18:01)
"I don't even know what the Crest of Astoria is. Is there some trick to getting through the door or will that come later?"
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 18:03)
"The door is just a shortcut, don't worry about it too much - although it's a good grinding place if you're struggling. The way to Butterfly is just to the right of the door as you approach it. Although you're eventually going to have to do Capra Demon.
I'm now stuck in a mystical sky-castle, unable to go anywhere else and completely stumped by the DOUBLE BOSS at the end. Brutal."
Michael Gapper (25 Sep 2011, 21:51)
"Okay, so if you attack the bird at Firelink Shrine, he takes it until half his energy bar is gone, and then he flies off towards the Undead Burg. I AM IN PURSUIT, CONTROL."
Rich Stanton (25 Sep 2011, 21:52)
"We got a runner."
Keza MacDonald (25 Sep 2011, 23:17)
"DON'T KILL THAT BIRD! He takes you back to the Undead Asylum later in the game! You need that bird!"
Rich Stanton (25 Sep 2011, 23:22)
"I'd like to register an interest in whether the bird has been killed or not."
Jason Killingsworth (26 Sep 2011, 01:46)
"I just killed the first boss you encounter in the Catacombs -- a magician named Pinwheel who does the old familiar trick of splitting into three forms and making you guess which one to attack. Only boss I managed to kill on my first attempt. Then, of course, like every other stage in the game, it just opened up into some new area called Valley of the Giants or something where you're running along narrow platforms in the dark with only tiny specks of torchlight dotting the path. Typical Dark Souls sadistic bullshit. Good times."
Rich Stanton (28 Sep 2011, 01:00)
"I've restarted on 360 retail. Waltzed through the first section with nary a scratch, strode up to the Taurus Demon thinking 'this punk doesn't know who he's messing with', and his first baseball swing sends me flying perfectly through the narrow gap in the wall. Home run for Team Demon. When will I learn?"
Simon Parkin (28 Sep 2011, 12:50)
"Hey team DkS! Any tips on those BASTARD belfry gargoyles on the chapel roof? I get both of them down to about a third health and then they tag team me till the end of all time. Managed to cut the tail off one of them once too, which I'm guessing is how you get his magic weapon drop? I don't have any magic at the moment so am maybe thinking this could help me? Anyone know where I can buy some offensive magic or am I too early on for that? Any pointers gratefully received. XXXO"
Rich McCormick (28 Sep 2011, 12:53)
"Yo Simon! Save the sun knight in the church first, then turn human before you climb the tower. Sun knight will be summonable outside, and he distracts the gargoyles enough to let you swamp them with arrows or magic. I managed to take the first one down before the second one had finished his "I'm here" animation this way."
Simon Parkin (28 Sep 2011, 23:20)
"Thanks everyone! Took the Xbox offline, unhollowed and there was a summon sign right there waiting for me. Did it first attempt. KAPOW!
Helped that I'd just picked up a BADASS Drake sword drop from the red dragon on the bridge. You can shoot its tail off from underneath the bridge. 200 atk dmg as a base stat and a ranged heavy attack move. AMAZE.
Where is best to head now? Down into the creepy woods or back into the horrible town in an effort to ring the second bell?"
Mitch Dyer (29 Sep 2011, 01:53)
"Two hours of aimless exploring later, I've made no forward progress from the stone bridge (up high) bonfire in blighttown. I've climbed so many ladders. Where. Do. I. Go."
Keza MacDonald (29 Sep 2011, 02:03)
"When you spawn at that bonfire, turn around and head across the next stone bridge where the flame-dogs and skinless zombies are waiting for you. Beware the poison-dart snipers. You want to get down from there. You're looking for ladders down to the swamp below - once you get to the swamp, you're near the Blighttown area boss. (Oh, and beware of the swamp. It poisons you.)
I really hated this bit of the game. I got stuck there for hours too."
Mitch Dyer (29 Sep 2011, 17:59)
"Grinding and audiobooks : peanut butter and chocolate."
Keza MacDonald (29 Sep 2011, 17:33)
"There are other places to soul grind, later in the game, peeps. Don't worry about those gentle forest creatures. This whole thing is new to me! Am I the only person that couldn't bring themselves to grind for the Crest of Astoria?"
Rich McCormick (1 Oct 2011, 14:59)
"Blazing through Drake Island with arrows. Makes fights easymode. Did I dream someone talking about a secret door through a fake rock face too? I'm very worried I made that up."
Jeffrey Matulef (2 Oct 2011, 22:40)
"It's funny... I've been craving a good grinding spot, but now that I have access to probably the best one in the game, it feels like cheating. Now that I know it, I can't unknow it. After indulging by gaining 5 levels real quick and saving up for a couple spells, I figure I'm going to lay off it unless there's an absolute emergency and I need a purifying stone or something. I know it's stupid and my fault for looking into (and then doing) it, but I can't help but feel like it breaks the game a little bit. Like I was stuck at level 27 forever and anytime I'd have more than 3K souls I'd get nervous. Now I just think, "ah well, I can get those at THAT spot." Then again, maybe the designers put it in there on purpose to throw us a bone. I mean, why else charge so much to open a door that connects the toughest enemies to a bonfire? It's barely even a shortcut."
Rich McCormick (2 Oct 2011, 22:52)
"You're all far too moral, I spammed 100k souls earlier to buy myself a thousand poisoned arrows. The game's chucked all it's got at me; I'd be stupid not to hit it back with both brain-barrels."
Michael Gapper (2 Oct 2011, 22:59)
"Hey, I was level 61 before I hit Anor Londo thanks to that spot. Morality schmoralitschmy."
Ryan Taljonick (3 Oct 2011, 08:10)
"Well folks, after 100+ hours between all my characters, I'm happy to report I finally beat Dark Souls. Hooooly crap. What a ride. Have fun with the final boss. He's quite the jerk. Good luck!"
Simon Parkin (3 Oct 2011, 09:16)
"Gratz! New Game+ playing as Deprived beckons."
Rich McCormick (9 Oct 2011, 12:43)
"Has anyone had any luck with invading other worlds? I'm dressed like the grim reaper and wielding a semi-scythe thing, so of course I want to terrify some small child."
By Jason Killingsworth.
