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andrewduckerSophia had a series of five UTIs over the last year or so. Five in total. After the third one we were referred to the renal department at the sick kids hospital, so that they could take a look.
And what they discovered was that she hadn't had five UTIs. She'd had one UTI. And four cases where she'd had inflammation and pain, but the urine samples had been negative.
Turns out that the issue is that children's vulvas aren't self-lubricating the same way that adult ones are. And unless she's *incredibly* careful wiping, and dealing with sticky things, occasionally she ends up with her labia getting slightly sticky and then chafing, and that then wakes her up at night in pain, and looks very-much like a UTI. So now she has instructions for a nightly shower of her genitals (sitting with her feet pressed sole-to-sole) along with a little soap - Jane was surprised to discover that they only recommend against scented soaps.
Her carers were delighted/amused to discover that when she explained all of this to her room at nursery the next day she used all the right language. Because Jane and I never saw the point of using childish language when the correct language was simple. Which did lead to the conversation with a doctor last time this pain happened where Sophia explained to the doctor that her vulva hurt, and then the doctor asked a follow-up question about Sophia's "front bottom". I had to try very hard not to sigh loudly...
Gideon, meanwhile, has yet to have his ears signed off, 5 days short of his second birthday. They do a test at birth, and that found that one ear wasn't entirely clear. So we were supposed to come back in a week or two later to have them test again to see if it had cleared.
And then because of the raging global pandemic this was postponed repeatedly until they tried again at 6 months. By which point the chances of him staying aseep while they put cold electrodes onto his head was zero. They insisted on trying a few times before deciding they'd have to leave it until he was 18 months, which is the point where kids are old enough to reasonably react to the standard sonic tests.
Yesterday was our second attempt at this. He wasn't terribly interested, and was quite grumpy the first time. Yesterday he was also pretty grumpy when we arrived (he has a cold, and has been unhappy with everything in the world on a regular basis for the last three days, and awake half the nights too, so we're all a bit fragile right now), but the testers did a great job of distracting him with bubbles and a slinky, and he was soon happy to be distracted with noises and toys.
They were able to check that he responded to various frequencies and volumes, and he did just fine with that. They were also able to get a detector into one ear which told us that it was *still* congested. Which might be because he had a cold (as he did the previous time too) or might be because that ear has never cleared. So we are being referred to Ear/Nose/Throat to have him checked out more thoroughly on that front, and back to audiology in three months to have them check him over too.
I was half hoping to discover that there was a problem with his hearing, as an explanation for his speech not having come in very much so far. But no, he's just not *that* interested. Will happily babble away, and there are definitely words in there - we've catalogued at least twenty. He's just behind all of the other kids in his room, and well behind where Sophia was at the same age. Hopefully it'll all fall into place soon!
And what they discovered was that she hadn't had five UTIs. She'd had one UTI. And four cases where she'd had inflammation and pain, but the urine samples had been negative.
Turns out that the issue is that children's vulvas aren't self-lubricating the same way that adult ones are. And unless she's *incredibly* careful wiping, and dealing with sticky things, occasionally she ends up with her labia getting slightly sticky and then chafing, and that then wakes her up at night in pain, and looks very-much like a UTI. So now she has instructions for a nightly shower of her genitals (sitting with her feet pressed sole-to-sole) along with a little soap - Jane was surprised to discover that they only recommend against scented soaps.
Her carers were delighted/amused to discover that when she explained all of this to her room at nursery the next day she used all the right language. Because Jane and I never saw the point of using childish language when the correct language was simple. Which did lead to the conversation with a doctor last time this pain happened where Sophia explained to the doctor that her vulva hurt, and then the doctor asked a follow-up question about Sophia's "front bottom". I had to try very hard not to sigh loudly...
Gideon, meanwhile, has yet to have his ears signed off, 5 days short of his second birthday. They do a test at birth, and that found that one ear wasn't entirely clear. So we were supposed to come back in a week or two later to have them test again to see if it had cleared.
And then because of the raging global pandemic this was postponed repeatedly until they tried again at 6 months. By which point the chances of him staying aseep while they put cold electrodes onto his head was zero. They insisted on trying a few times before deciding they'd have to leave it until he was 18 months, which is the point where kids are old enough to reasonably react to the standard sonic tests.
Yesterday was our second attempt at this. He wasn't terribly interested, and was quite grumpy the first time. Yesterday he was also pretty grumpy when we arrived (he has a cold, and has been unhappy with everything in the world on a regular basis for the last three days, and awake half the nights too, so we're all a bit fragile right now), but the testers did a great job of distracting him with bubbles and a slinky, and he was soon happy to be distracted with noises and toys.
They were able to check that he responded to various frequencies and volumes, and he did just fine with that. They were also able to get a detector into one ear which told us that it was *still* congested. Which might be because he had a cold (as he did the previous time too) or might be because that ear has never cleared. So we are being referred to Ear/Nose/Throat to have him checked out more thoroughly on that front, and back to audiology in three months to have them check him over too.
I was half hoping to discover that there was a problem with his hearing, as an explanation for his speech not having come in very much so far. But no, he's just not *that* interested. Will happily babble away, and there are definitely words in there - we've catalogued at least twenty. He's just behind all of the other kids in his room, and well behind where Sophia was at the same age. Hopefully it'll all fall into place soon!
no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 12:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 11:54 am (UTC)I can't believe that doctor..................
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Date: 2022-08-26 12:03 pm (UTC)We have a simple one that installed in less than half an hour, with minimal tools.
https://www.homedepot.ca/product/brondell-purespa-easy-bidet-toilet-attachment/1001130624
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Date: 2022-08-26 12:43 pm (UTC)(At the moment she loves playing in the shower though, so I'm not rushing)
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Date: 2022-08-26 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 01:14 pm (UTC)I HATE IT when people use twee euphemisms about body parts
1. can result in less-good medical outcomes if it causes a disconnect between what the child is describing and what the medical professional is hearing;
2. means that children don't have the vocabulary to describe if an adult or another child is touching them inappropriately;
3. contributes to a sense of shame/embarrassment about bodies that can contribute to shame/embarrassment/guilt about appropriately expressing/exploring their sexuality when they grow up to be adults;
4. (not as important) I also hate it aesthetically.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 01:27 pm (UTC)keeping fingernails AS SHORT AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN - cut off ALL or ALMOST ALL the white bit of fingernail - really helps. Avoids getting tiny scratches when you go to the loo and when you have a shower. Also dirt and allergens get trapped under fingernails - short fingernails are cleaner;
whenever possible, wash your hands with unscented soap and rinse your hands thoroughly with water immediately before going to the toilet - gets rid of germs and allergens
Also if you get desperate, putting on disposable Ansell latex-free *powder-free* vinyl gloves on both hands every single time before you go to the toilet (new gloves every toilet visit) means you have even less chance of scratching your vulva and even less chance of introducing germs/allergens. This has really helped me, but hopefully your daughter won't get to that point (I have psoriasis and some other autoimmune skin issues)
The gloves are really thin, smooth and flexible, they are nothing like the gloves people wear for cleaning. Must be powder free as the powder on powdered gloves can be an irritant.
Also many dermatologists have warned me to avoid black knickers as they shed more dye and can be an irritant - ideally wear white or unbleached/undyed 100% cotton knickers. Knickers where all the elastic is covered are safer than knickers where elastic touches skin.
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Date: 2022-08-26 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 06:15 pm (UTC)I find that my nails hold dirt even when cut off to no white at all, so don't anyone be too disappointed if that doesn't work so well for you.
I have very very often pondered how any woman between the ages of 10 and (say) 55 could ever wear white knickers - but maybe others have more regular and less messy periods than me!
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Date: 2022-08-26 06:23 pm (UTC)My periods were so bizarre and irregular that I actually needed endometrial ablation (surgical cauterisation of uterus), so even tho I am am not menopausal yet, I no longer bleed [I still have the normal monthly hormonal fluctuations associated with the menstrual cycle tho]
but even if I still menstruated, I would INFINITELY prefer stains on my knickers to vulval irritation! It's not like anyone usually sees your knickers!
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Date: 2022-08-27 05:50 am (UTC)Though there were times in my wild single days when plenty of people would have seen!
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Date: 2022-08-26 01:31 pm (UTC)so if you get desperate, try avoiding chilli/paprika/black pepper/ginger for a few weeks and see if that helps
(I can't eat any of those without immediate vulval irritation)
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Date: 2022-08-26 01:39 pm (UTC)Sophia doesn't eat anything with those on it, but next time it comes back I shall keep a note of what she ate.
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Date: 2022-08-26 01:43 pm (UTC)(I have a cinnamon allergy, and the cinnamon in my urine was severely aggravating my vulva)
cinnamon allergy is surprisingly common, especially if you are allergic to fragrance
A dermatologist can set you up with a patch test to see if you are allergic to fragrance and/or Balsam of Peru.
Balsam of Peru is a product found in many skincare products (including nappy rash type products), and if you react to Balsam of Peru you also cross react to cinnamon
https://dermnetnz.org/topics/balsam-of-peru-allergy
no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 01:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 02:40 pm (UTC)as a general rule, dresses and skirts are better for vulvas than shorts and trousers
1. better airflow/ventilation
2. don't have seams digging in to your vulva when you are sitting down
BUT if you're around a lot of airborne irritants
- someone is dusting/sweeping/vaccuuming stirring up dust
- someone is using spray and wipe type cleaning products
- someone is mowing the lawn
- its an unusually high pollen count day
knickers + trousers provide better protection against irritants
than knickers + skirt do.
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Date: 2022-08-26 02:52 pm (UTC)The milestones for language development still have kids Gideon's age at 'vocabulary of four to six words.' So he's doing fine at 20. My anecdotal experience is that many second kids talk less than their sibs because their sibs do all the talking for them.
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Date: 2022-08-26 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-26 06:15 pm (UTC)It's not necessarily anything to be worried about so long as he can communicate his needs.
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Date: 2022-08-26 06:22 pm (UTC)(He's terribly clear about his needs)
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Date: 2022-08-26 09:22 pm (UTC)For some kids, it is nothing, but for other kids, they need to get their early intervention services in place.
Talk to your pediatrician about speech therapy and whether you should consider it. A lot of little boys are jibberishy, and speech therapists can help sort them out.
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Date: 2022-08-27 01:28 am (UTC)that is, adult ones UNTIL we hit menopause :/
i found a natural female-lubricant that has helped me feeling achey "gotta pee!" sensations... it is called "membrasin"
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07QR3TNVQ/
i hope that Sophia feels better real soon, refuah shelema! <3 bs"d!
no subject
Date: 2022-08-27 06:54 am (UTC)That said, it's possible that he has a minor hearing problem that could be delaying development, but hasn't been discovered yet because conditions weren't optimal. Or that he's content to let life flow without needing to change it by speaking.
The good thing is, you're aware and watching and checking... and you read to them. (Excellent for providing language examples.) So keep being aware and checking, especially till you get a good, conclusive hearing result, but take a breath; chances are very good that he'll decide to talk when he's ready.