Life with two kids: Trapped with both of them

[andrewducker]

On Wednesday evening we got a text from the nursery telling us that there was a confirmed case of Covid-19 in Sophia's room. Which means that she (along with all of the carers and children from that room) have to isolate for the next two weeks.

Jane, Gideon, and I only have to isolate if she actually develops symptoms, which seems very unlikely from my understanding. But as she can't leave the house, that means one of us has to be at home with her at all times, so our daily wanders have come to a pause.

I'm not actually that worried, it's just frustrating, and of course while having Sophia at home for four months because nursery was closed merely kept us on our toes, not being able to take her out to run off her energy, while simultaneously not being able to explain it to her, is much harder.

On Thursday night a bunch of local kids (aged 3-6) were playing football in the street. And it's only about a week since she started showing an interest in hanging out in proximity to them. So telling her that she couldn't go out to watch was heartbreaking.

If anyone has any advice, or materials, for explaining this kind of thing to a two year old then please do let me know. I've had a go, but I'm fairly sure it just bounced off. And I'm also pretty sure she doesn't have a good enough grasp of time to understand how long it's going to be.

Comments

[atreic]

Oh, that’s hard. You could try a sticker chart count down, like an advent calendar?

I’d be tempted to go for ‘because of the bad illness you’re not allowed to go outside to keep you safe, it will be safe again in 14 sleeps’ rather than ‘because you might have the bad illness’, but I guess that depends on how much you dislike lies-to-children to make the world less scary.

[andrewducker]

I'm happy to tell small lies at this age, because she can't understand anything complex enough to be the actual truth. I've told her that the park is shut, for instance.

Really looking forward to her reaching the age where I can explain even a simplified version of what's going on.

[altamira16]

This was really hard for kids up to about age 5 or 6 to grasp.

At that age, many kids are easily distracted so turning quarantine time into "Cool Art Days" where you make playdough and do coloring or stickers is fine.

When it comes to calendars for this age, it is usually something visual so having her mark the days with a sticker or something and circling the last one when she can go back may help.

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

[lilysea]

Good Days and Bad Days During Lockdown - a picture book free online. Explanatory text follows at the end.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/551cfff9e4b0f74d74cb307e/t/5e95772ed955c310893242f1/1586853700272/Good+Days+and+Bad+Days+During+Lockdown+V1.pdf

[andrewducker]

That's really well done!

[lilysea]

The same people did more free wordless [but with explanatory text at the end] picture books about COVID available to download here

https://booksbeyondwords.co.uk/coping-with-coronavirus

[calimac]

Go outside to play when nobody else is around? Is that feasible? Is it allowed?

[andrewducker]

It's definitely against the law. There are bits nearby which are deserted during the day, but I'm fairly sure I shouldn't be risking that.

[agoodwinsmith]

Can she not play outside in her own yard? That seems ... excessive.

[andrewducker]

Sorry, yes. Our garden is fine. But doesn't require there to be nobody else about, as it's not shared.

[agoodwinsmith]

Okay - that's at least something.

I remember loving mudpies a lot. I very clearly remember making mud balls that I coated in dry dust, so they just looked like harmless clods of earth. I had fantasies about throwing them at people as they walked past the house, and enjoying their surprise when dry clods were actually muddy bombs.

I wouldn't foster the antisocial behaviour, but mud is fun.

[andrewducker]

Yeah. I shall see if I can get something to make that easier.

[andrewducker]

Sorry, if by "out" you included "in our garden" then that's just fine.

[movingfinger]

I am so sorry. Someone was careless and everyone pays.

If you are on Twitter, you might try asking Catherynne Valente, who has a child about that age, who does understand the limits, about how they explained it. I think it's certainly harder for a temporary quarantine situation. It is a heartbreaking thing for a parent to have to do.

[andrewducker]

Good suggestion!

[agoodwinsmith]

Make things? She might not be actually old enough to actually help, but cookie dough has a lot of mess potential. Cookie dough that can be shaped has a wait and see factor, which has a "waiting sometimes pays off" vibe. (Don't tell it, just let it be apparent.) You don't have to eat everything that is made.

[andrewducker]

Good idea!

[azurelunatic]

Thirding sticker calendars.

This is so rough. :(

[lilysea]

You might also like this picture book for children:

"Lenny and Lily live next door to each other. Every day they walk to school together and play with the same group of friends.

Then one day their teacher explains there is a pandemic. She tells them it means their school will be closing for some weeks and they will be learning at home. Lenny and Lily feel sad and abandoned.

The story explores Lenny and Lily’s experiences of loss and change in the days of the lockdown, how they develop ways of maintaining their friendship, the challenges of learning at home and the range of emotions they each experience."

https://booksbeyondwords.co.uk/bookshop/lenny-and-lily-in-lockdown

[danieldwilliam]

I've been thinking about this and so far I haven't come up with any useful ideas. Sorry.

[andrewducker]

I'm not sure much can be done except to power through. We've gotten into a bit of a rhythm. The weather isn't helping though - we haven't been able to spend much time in the garden.

[danieldwilliam]

Does she have a good enough concept of time that she can understand and wait for "a few day's time"?

[andrewducker]

Nope. I tried a calendar, but she didn't really understand.
Doesn't help much that she doesn't actually want to go back to nursery, and is actually happy to be at home with her family.

(Although she would like to go for a walk)

[danieldwilliam]

Do you use the concept of "sleeps" for things that are happening in a few days time?

[andrewducker]

Tried that. It seems to lead to her then mostly forgetting that it's happening, and occasionally saying "that thing - is it happening now?"

(Doesn't help that she can't count, of course)

[danieldwilliam]

I think then just focusing on making inside the boundaries of your home as much fun and as comfortable as possible so she want to go out less is the best I can offer you.

Are you about a week in now?

[andrewducker]

Yeah, I think you're right.

And yes, today is day 1 of the second week.