Family conflict

[andrewducker]

We just handed Sophia over to nursery for the first time in four and a half months.
I feel really weird and conflicted about this.
On the one hand she's been before and she adjusted within days when she switched to it, and was even actively excited some days when she went.
On the other hand she was clearly very nervous verging on scared this morning when I handed her over, and she hasn't had to deal with other people in months and when she does see other people is clearly very worried by them.
On the other other hand that's probably not good for her, and with my mild introversion and Jane's major introversion she's liable to turn into a hermit unless we push her out in to the world.
But I'm going to miss having her around all the time, and her general presence, which I find very comforting.
But I will suddenly be able to concentrate for long periods, and not spend half my day trying to work out how to entertain her. Time to myself will be *lovely*.
But I will miss our long walks.

Comments

[cmcmck]

I fear the amount of damage this is doing to kids, but that's the retired teacher for you.

Hope all goes well.

Hugs all round

[andrewducker]

I'd be interested to hear more of your thoughts.

[rmc28]

Heh yeah, I worry about my two turning into hermits.

You can still have long walks together! (on the weekend maybe, if she's worn out by nursery)

[f4f3]

Nothing about this strikes me as unusual, or anything to worry about in the longer term. From previous observation (back in the last millennium), children are much better at adjusting to any amount of "new normal" than adults. I think it's something to do with the fact that they actually DO live in the moment, as opposed to us dreamily wishing we could. What she'll be very, very good at is picking up on your vibes - so I'd advise faking it till you can make it, in terms of being happy that she's picking up her different routine.

And don't sweat the introversion thing too much. I've been described as an extrovert (I know, however could people get that idea?) but when I was out for my first restaurant meal since March 12th last week, I was freaking out at being surrounded by so many people. I settled after an hour or so, but I expect the same thing to happen the first time I go to a movie, or the theatre, or a pub.

So, in one sense, you're not alone.

But you'll still miss her like hell.

[andrewducker]

Yeah, we ate in IKEA last week, and while they did a ton of social distancing, cleaning, etc. I just didn't feel comfortable. Don't think I'll do it again until things are more normal.

[anef]

I can't even imagine eating in a restaurant. We have been having some socially distanced meals with a restricted number of people in back gardens, and that is lovely, but I wouldn't want to go any further.

[andrewducker]

Yeah, I figured it would be okay, because of the distance, etc. But even with that it still felt uncomfortable, and frankly masks and signs everywhere do not a relaxed dining experience make!

[danieldwilliam]

I think this sums up the comment I was about to make.

[mountainkiss]

Yeah, me too (except for the extraversion, obvs).