Life under lockdown

[andrewducker]

I have have been really rubbish at communication. I keep thinking I ought to do a general post about how I've been entirely caught up in things and not able to get enough brain space to feel like I'm communicating well, and then just not communicating at all when it comes to anything I feel is important. This has included things like comments on my posts, and I'm sorry if anyone is feeling ignored.

And my instinct here is to again not go into it, because I wouldn't do a very good job of it, but then I know that I'd put it off until tomorrow, and then put it off again further.

But basically at the moment the schedule during the week is to swap Sophia hour and hour about, with one of us getting work done while the other keeps her alive, until we get to somewhere around 5:30, at which point I cook, we eat between 6:30 and 7:30, the three of us get to bed feeling wrung out, and then watch the kind of TV which doesn't require any brain power until we all fall asleep, to sleep variably-badly and then repeat.

And so I do have little gaps to do stuff in, usually while walking to the corner shop, or while taking Sophia entertains herself, but those last less than five minutes, I don't I have enough concentration to do anything justice. And so I keep feeling bad for not keeping up with things. So Instagram gets photos, and Facebook/Twitter get the occasional short update, but that's about it.

I am 100% sure that none of you are judging me (or, to be honest, even thinking about me most of the time - everyone is bound up in their own lives). And I'm not even really complaining - I enjoy spending time with Sophia*, Jane is lovely and very supportive, work is actually going well**, and it is lovely having a garden and being a 20 minute walk from this scenery. And I do get intermittent chunks of time entirely off, usually when Jane and Sophia are having a nap - but with my brain overwhelmed I go and play games for a bit. But we are really looking forward to nursery reopening so that we can hand them £1200 a month to keep her entertained during the day!



*We spent half an hour earlier playing hide and seek for the first time, where she was hilariously awful at hiding, and adorable at finding us.
**Although it was quite stressful rolling out software to 4,000 people last week, that all seems to be working fine now.
***I am loving Ori and the Will of the Wisps. Although I have been stuck trying to complete this chase since yesterday and I swear it will be the death of me.

Comments

[alithea]

*So* not judging you, this situation is exhausting without adding a toddler to the mix.

I'm glad you're holding up okay, sounds like things are going about as well as you can expect. I hope Jane is keeping well too.

[i_kender]

All sounds fine to me, you and your household are adjusting as best you can to circumstances. I’m not really sure why you feel the need to apologise or feel guilty though? You do you, as they say. No need to feel like you’re not meeting your obligations on a social level, for example... like everyone else, you’re just coping. And that’s fine.

[doug]

Sounds to me like you are all doing extraordinarily well in difficult circumstances. All the best to all of you.

[rmc28]

Keeping a toddler alive is a full-time job! I remember those days and sympathise greatly with you being overwhelmed.

[mountainkiss]

And far more important than anything else that might be on the list in lockdown. If she is happy and thriving, you're winning by miles.

[mountainkiss]

Repeating previous comment. Here for you no matter what. Always happy to hear from. you - not critiquing - and it's also always fine when you don't have capacity. It's not like anyone here is in a place of perfect control of their lives and flawless communication.

[cmcmck]

Sounds like you're doing a grand job between you!

Here if you need to talk!

[havocthecat]

No need to judge, thanks for the update.

[andrewducker]

Yup! Asleep right now, I think. Hopefully feeling refreshed when they wake up.

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

[andrewducker]

My pleasure. Helps to get it out there.

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

[andrewducker]

Thank you.

[rhythmaning]

I'm pretty convinced my mental capacity is running an about 50%. The idea of writing anything longer than a FB post - well, it does my head in!

Howver, I'm pretty sure Jim is certainly judging you. It's what cats do... ;)

[rhythmaning]

See,i told you... I CAN'T EVEN SPELL!!!

[snippy]

It's the kind of thing we're all doing-wondering whether we're doing enough, doing the right things, doing what we're supposed to. My thing today is whether I'm enjoying this time enough--I was laid off over a week ago and I wish I had this time to enjoy myself. But this isn't a vacation-I can't go to the park for a picnic, or to the beach for the day. I can't spend a few hours at the zoo or in a museum.

[mountainkiss]

Hello old cat icon. Timothy?

[andrewducker]

Yeah, it's a frustrating situation.

Really sorry you've been laid off though. Is that also likely to be a temporary situation?

[rhythmaning]

Yes.

[altamira16]

I feel like there are things I want to say; but when I get to the end of the day, I don't have the energy to say them. I am not even doing this on "hard mode" with a toddler in the house.

[snippy]

Thanks. I think it is temporary; they told me they hoped to bring back everyone who was laid off by July 1. I'm not looking for other work unless we get past that without them telling me their plans. I have two months' living expenses in savings that I haven't had to touch yet, plus two months' pantry food (I started buying extra in December in case of the flu, then just kept buying a bit extra each week).

I just wish I could actually enjoy this. I've wanted a summer off forever --the last time I was off school and work but not recovering from childbirth or surgery was the summer of 1979--but this is not that vacation!

[danieldwilliam]

I think just getting through this in (more or less) one piece is a good enough target without putting yourself under any pressure to be social.

[maia]

We spent half an hour earlier playing hide and seek for the first time, where she was hilariously awful at hiding, and adorable at finding us.

"If I can't see you, then you can't see me, right?" Oh, the delicious toddler logic!

♥ ♥


I'm astounded that you're still posting the Interesting Links every day. I love those posts, but I do hope you won't feel obligated to continue if it becomes too much at some point.

*Hugs you*

[andrewducker]

Thank you!

They're actually really easy, as all I do is save interesting stuff I happen to read. And saving them takes about 30 seconds per thing, via the Pinboard app on my phone, so I can do it in small gaps.

(And yes, watching her learn stuff toddler-style is awesome.)

[anef]

Hi, Andy. It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you are all well. We are coping reasonably well with just the two of us and no small child, but life seems more tiring than usual, and small things that ought to get sorted drift on unresolved.

[melchar]

Sleep is a quaint notion that parents of children look fondly back upon...until said children are all age 12 or older.

[andrewducker]

I shall try to remain coherent ;-)

[andrewducker]

Good to hear from you too! A shame that, again, I won't see you in August!

I definitely agree that little things seem bigger at the moment.

[jack]

It's not possible to keep up your usual productivity AND keep a small child safe! Society is sort of not admitting that. But if you keep everything rolling on somehow that's a success!

[wolflady26]

Just watching that YouTube video makes me want to throw my Xbox controller out the window. If you're stuck for a day on that chase and haven't broken anything over it yet, PLUS your kid is alive... I say you're winning the pandemic!