Stop Fucking Plate Shaming!!!!

[andrewducker]

A guest post* from my friend Farah, who has had diagnosed coeliac for 18 years:

Ok. I am at breaking point on this one.

Stop Fucking Plate Shaming!!!!

Saying that people are faking food allergies/sensitivities/intolerances because you see them eat something they shouldn't is no different to calling a wheelchair user a fake because they walk a hundred yards in your presence.

I am pre diabetic. I starve myself some days so I can have a glass of wine or dessert at dinner.

I am terribly dairy intolerant but if it's night time and I can sleep it off, I'll steal a sliver or two of cheese from the cheese board.

I don't really cheat on the coeliac because it's too damn painful but I know that the symptoms from a little soy sauce are manageable so tho I'll order my food without I'll steal from your plate.

My Dad's coeliac is much less severe than mine. I yell at him for eating a piece of French bread/slice of matzo or Cornish pasty but it doesn't make him a faker.

My mom has a passion for brown sugar meringues. It doesn't mean she is faking her diabetes.

I was brought up that whatever my private thoughts, commenting on someone else's plate was bloody rude.

And no, sometime gluten refusers don't make life more difficult for me.
A) they help sustain a market for free from foods
B) the jerk wads who use others to claim I must be "faking" too are the same jerk wads who would try to test my migraine by secretly feeding me cheese or a friend legumes (I ended up sick, she almost died).

Show respect. Not your stomach, not your plate, not your business.

*Farah posted this on Facebook, and asked people to share. As I thought what she was saying was important, and applies to me directly, I thought it was worth me hosting a copy in a more public place .

Comments

[cosmolinguist]

This is awesome and thank you for sharing it.

[teaotter]

This is one of the topics I feel very strongly about, but I come at it from a different perspective: Why the hell should it matter if they're "faking" or not?

I don't think people ought to need a so-called "good" reason to avoid a food. If they want to avoid a food, that should be reason enough.

I'm fine with the restaurants that tell you straight-out that they don't know all the ingredients to their foods, or that they won't adapt anything. I can just leave, because at least they're honest.

The people who want to feed you something you don't want to eat, or who lie to you about their ignorance of ingredients -- those people are assholes.

Having a good reason to back up your preference may be the difference between the cook saying "I don't know" and them saying "Here, let me go get the package so you can read the ingredients." But it shouldn't be the difference between whether or not someone knowingly serves you food you don't want.

[andrewducker]

Yup, it's just basic politeness to listen to people's preferences, and either agree to support them, or tell them that you can't. Absolutely no need to be an asshole.

[altamira16]

Please read the article that I linked below. When it comes to allergies, restaurants that take them seriously stop their whole kitchen and wash all the dishes and utensils coming into contact with the food of someone who is allergic that may have touched an allergen. People with preferences are being rude if they are bringing a restaurant kitchen to a standstill because they have a preference that they call an "allergy."

Cross-contamination is an issue with severe allergies, and it does not affect most other people.

[teaotter]

I think you misunderstood me.

My point is this: people with food preferences often say that they have sensitivities or allergies because it's the only way to avoid having people feed them something they don't want to eat. Not through ignorance, but through malice. People who want to trick someone into eating something they don't want to eat are assholes.

People should be able to say that they don't like X, and have the people feeding them say one of a few things: We can make it without X, we can't/won't make it without X, or I don't know and I won't find out. And then the person can make an informed decision about eating.

Similarly, someone with an allergy should be able to ask about trace amounts in component foods (dairy in bread crumbs, for example), or utensils, cross-contamination issues, or whatever they need, and be able to make an informed decision based on what the people feeding them respond with. (I'm still okay with those people answering that they don't know and won't check -- at least they're being honest about it.)

The people I'm calling assholes are the people who lie about checking, or who lie about ingredients because they think they have the right to decide what should go into your body.

If someone says that they have an allergy specifically to interrupt the kitchen staff at a restaurant and make them do work they don't have to do, those people are also assholes. But I've seen more of the first than the second.

[altamira16]

I really haven't seen a ton of malice on the part of restaurant workers, and this could be a regional. The people trying to slip me odd things were usually family or friends.

I live in an area with a lot of special people who deserve special foods because they are special. I was out to lunch with a group, and someone in our group gave her server a card to show the cook about fifteen to twenty things she could not have. This is unkind. If your dietary restrictions are that extensive, call in advance.

Because I live in the land of special people, it is easier to get actual allergies accommodated, but it means that I have to deal with special people like the ones who ask for gluten-free stuff and then eat the gluten-full stuff anyway.

Nope

[altamira16]

This concept of "plate-shaming" when it comes to allergies is dangerous, and what she is saying does not speak for all people with food allergies, intolerances, or preferences. In my household what we do not know *can* hurt us, and we can end up in the emergency room so if you see something on my plate or my child's plate that you know we cannot have, please tell us!

But typically, it is not that easy. Usually, we have avoided the easily spotted allergens, and it is the allergens that none of us can see that are hurting us. These are the allergens spread through cross-contamination that require all equipment touching our food to be sanitized.

I have personally ended up in the emergency room because my french fries were cooked in the same fryer that was used to fry shrimp.

Here is an article about what is happening in the US with regards to this issue for you.

There is a brand of packaged food called EnjoyLife in the US. It is free of the top eight allergens. Their cookies taste like sand. But I am grateful for their allergen-free chocolate chips because that means that I can make chocolate chip cookies for the dairy-allergic person in my household.

Is it true that in the UK that special labelling laws apply to the top 12 allergens and not just the top 8? I think I saw someone mention that on one of the food allergy lists that I am on.

Re: Nope

[andrewducker]

The rules are EU wide, and the UK implementation states:
There are 14 major substances or products causing food allergies or intolerances that are recognised across Europe. If there is a food product which contains or uses an ingredient or processing aid listed in Annex II of FIC or derived from one of the 14 substances or products listed in
Annex II, it will need to be declared if still present in the finished product even if in an altered form.

These are:

Cereals containing gluten, namely: wheat (such as spelt and khorasan wheat), rye, barley, oats
Crustaceans for example prawns, crabs, lobster, crayfish
Eggs
Fish
Peanuts
Soybeans
Milk (including lactose)
Nuts; namely almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, cashews, pecan nuts, Brazil nuts, pistachio nuts, macadamia (or Queensland) nuts
Celery (including celeriac)
Mustard
Sesame
Sulphur dioxide/sulphites, where added and at a level above 10mg/kg or 10mg/L in the finished product. This can be used as a preservative in dried fruit
Lupin, which includes lupin seeds and flour and can be found in types of bread, pastries and pasta
Molluscs like, mussels, whelks, oysters, snails and squid

From:
https://www.food.gov.uk/sites/default/files/fir-guidance2014.pdf
and
http://allergytraining.food.gov.uk/english/rules-and-legislation/