Date: 2012-01-20 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bart-calendar.livejournal.com
That marriage study doesn't surprise me at all. The couples I know that co-habitate but are not married tend to be happier than the couples that I know who co-habitate and are married.

I know that personally when I was married I was miserable. Now with Rome Girl we semi-cohabitate (she's here about five to six months of the year) and much happier.

(In fact, Rome Girl has said her dream is for us to make enough money so that we could have separate yet nearby apartments. Given that we are both freelance writers, however, having that kind of money is not apt to happen in the near future.)

Date: 2012-01-20 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bart-calendar.livejournal.com
That probably has a lot to do with it. Plus there is a lot of societal pressure that goes with being married. Rome Girl and I, for example, don't get asked by friends, family members, random people "when are you going to start a family?" all the fucking time, the way people generally get hassled when they are married.

Hell, when I was married every time we went out and my wife was the designated driver and therefore not drinking everyone would ask her if she was pregnant and generally not believe her when she said "no."


When I was married if I went out several nights in a given week with my friends and my wife didn't feel like going out, people would ask me if we were having problems in our relationship. Because Rome Girl and I aren't married we don't get those kinds of questions. When you are married people feel the need to invite both of you to events, even if it's well known that one of you would really rather not go. So you end up hanging out with one of your spouses friends who you hate on a regular basis. But if you are not married society says it's totally OK for your spouse's friend to just invite your spouse.

Plus, when you are married there is a generally a feeling of "God if this ever goes bad and I want to get out of it it's going to be really hard and people will feel sorry for me" that you don't get when you are not married. Knowing that you won't have to call a lawyer if things get bad can, I think, help prevent things getting bad.

Date: 2012-01-20 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drdoug.livejournal.com
I wish they'd include 'life satisfaction' in this sort of study. I'd much rather feel I'd done the right thing with my life than feel happy moment-to-moment.

Date: 2012-01-20 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
The chap who was interviewing for jobs with a bank sounds like a total cock.

Date: 2012-01-20 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
Mainly his tone.

I am getting a picture of him trying to appear cynical and wordly-wise and not quite succeeding.

Date: 2012-01-20 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
Yeah - I'm not saying I'm *not* being harsh or unfair or using my status as an older member of society to crush and abuse those weaker then me. (Mind you, he wants to be a banker, he's pretty much signing up for that culture.

He does sound young.

Date: 2012-01-20 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
Isn't that what the weak are for?


In all seriousness - I think the weak are to be nurtured if they can be made strong and protected if they can not be made strong and it is the duty of the strong to forbear from mis-using* their strength.

*The definition of mis-use being the subject of some discussion I understand.

It's why the SNP want independence, so that they'll be at the top rather than the bottom, and can stop being crushed and start crushing!


LOL - perhaps I should take out membership whilst there is still a chance to look like a volunteer and not a collaborator.

Date: 2012-01-20 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadbydawn.livejournal.com
I have spent a good chunk of my adult life 'protecting' people who were for whatever reason staggering blind at the edge of a pit. The most pressing thing I've noticed in those experiences is that many people, especially young women, have *no fucking concept whatsoever* of the extent to which they are capable of allowing themselves to be royally screwed.

I've known many highly intelligent people with the sense of a dead badger. it's terrifying.

[I've also suffered a few breakdowns via epic stress. Ho hum]

Date: 2012-01-20 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
Of course - that is just my impression of him and may not be a reflection of his reality.

Date: 2012-01-20 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danieldwilliam.livejournal.com
V pleased about the interconnector.

There is so much grid improvement or re-enforcement work that has to happen before we can stick a load of windfarms etc in the north of Scotland. Not surprising as most of the grid in Scotland is designed to shift power around the Central Belt and the bits for shifting power from Highland hydro plants is full.

It’s going to take years to do all the work even if they all had planning permission gifted by the zoning permit fairies overnight.

There is even talk of a big undersea cable from Peterhead to the Thames to bypass the congestion.

Date: 2012-01-20 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ophelia-complex.livejournal.com
I want to move to Meghalaya!

Date: 2012-01-20 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadbydawn.livejournal.com
I can think of nothing I would enjoy less than reading about someone *wanting* to be a banker. Instead, I will comment thusly:

as the LHC does it's funky high-energy thing, there sits a generation of string theorists etc hoping desperately that some cool things are found for them to apply their jolly cunning minds to.... because it's either that or become an accountant.

it's basic intellectual death.

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