Date: 2010-08-09 11:18 am (UTC)
innerbrat: (anthropology)
From: [personal profile] innerbrat
People lie to themselves about how their life will be; life ignores the script. People blame everything except the lie itself. News at 11.



----


I always bring my sociobiological background to discussions on human sexuality, which is kind of educationally privileged of me and I don't want to be read as telling other people how to deifne themselves, but:

The type of polygamy described by that article is extra-pair bonding, and when it occurs in songbirds, we still call those songbirds monogamous.

I'm just saying.

Date: 2010-08-09 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marrog.livejournal.com
The type of polygamy described by that article is extra-pair bonding, and when it occurs in songbirds, we still call those songbirds monogamous.

I'm just saying.


I would certainly draw a distinction between 'polyamory' and 'open relationships' - and I'd be okay* with an open relationship being described as monogamous or polyamorous. I can see reasons for using either distinction. When I talk about what I personally 'get' or could ever see myself having been a part of, I tend to draw a distinction between 'open (monogamous) relationship' and 'polyamory'.

I know that that would mean that a lot of people who call themselves 'polyamorous' I would call 'open-monogamous' or whatever, but then everyone draws their lines in different places and that's okay as long as there's mutual respect, right?

I think that where a relationship has a 'primary' partner to whom some unique level of faithfulness is shown and with whom all other relationships are on some level negociated, for example where there's a power of veto or a line that can't be crossed with secondary partners, then there's a pretty solid argument for calling that relationship 'monogamous' if you want to.


*'Okay' lexically rather than morally I mean - morally people can do whatver they want and call it whatever they want.
Edited Date: 2010-08-09 02:25 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-08-09 02:35 pm (UTC)
innerbrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerbrat
Yeah, I think my thinking is along the same lines.

I differentiate between 'relationships' and 'sex'* in which the former defines your familial state (with or without children - a committed, long term partnership of two or more adults is still a 'family'), and the other is no one's business but your own.

To me, monogamy is a state of being in a committed life partnership with one person. Whether sex happens outside (or even within) that relationship is no ones business except the people having (or not having) the sex.

*Academically at least. I am not comfortable with sex outside my own, monogamous relationship. I consider this a function of my own issues with sex and relationships.

Date: 2010-08-09 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-pawson.livejournal.com
That article about Vitamin Water reminds me of a similar marketing move by Proctor & Gamble with Sunny Delight (Sunny D). Sunny D was essentially an orange chemical concoction that contained huge amounts of sugar and little or no actual orange juice. It had been around since the 60's but wasn't terribly popular in the UK.

P&G came up with an idea and ran a campaign claiming it was a healthy alternative to coke, pepsi etc. But the stroke of genius was that at the same time, they insisted shops put it in the chilled section rather than on the shelves. There was no need for it to be refrigerated, it contained preservatives and had a very long shelf-life, but by putting it in the chilled cabinet, consumers assumed it must be healthy, and sales rocketed. Not the most ethical ad campaign, but it worked.

Date: 2010-08-09 02:38 pm (UTC)
innerbrat: (full of shit)
From: [personal profile] innerbrat
DAMMIT I FELL FOR THAT.

Date: 2010-08-09 12:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com
Heh. My old shingles scar flares up when I'm stressed.

Parenting

Date: 2010-08-09 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zornhau.livejournal.com
Nice article - thanks for sharing.

The short and long of it is that children are people too. You wouldn't expect another adult to fit in with your preexisting life, so why expect that of a child? Children aren't an add-on, they're an upgrade. People should read the back of the packet before they breed.

Date: 2010-08-09 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bart-calendar.livejournal.com
I'm trying to get at least 50 percent of my daily calories from beer and vodka.

25 percent is for the cowardly and weak.

Date: 2010-08-09 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ashfae.livejournal.com
Thank you so damn much for that Why Parents Hate Parenting article. I hated the one it's referencing.
Edited Date: 2010-08-09 03:04 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-08-09 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blearyboy.livejournal.com
I haven't read the original piece, but that article was great. Parenting is a vocation rather than a lifestyle choice, which is hard to explain to people who think that everything is a lifestyle choice.

Date: 2010-08-09 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dalglir.livejournal.com
I think the expectations of Society At Large about what parenting entails is almost completely bent out of shape.

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