This Christmas is like being in the jungle with a troop of diseased baboons, calling to each other across the treetops.
A hacking cough emanates from one bedroom, to be met by a slightly more distant one from a different room.
Then a third, more baby-like one calls out from the distance, and a dog sticks its noise in your ear.
(That last bit might be less jungle like. I wouldn't know. If there aren't wet-nosed dogs in the jungle then it doesn't sound worth visiting. Maybe if there was a jaguar that could fill in instead that would be ok.)