Just awake

[andrewducker]

Haven't slept this late in years.

Checking FB, I notice that my friends largely agree with my self-analysis _except_ when it comes to my agreeableness, where it turns out I'm a complete bastard.


My first thought is to wonder what I'm doing wrong. Apparently I don't come across as interested in them, which is weird, as I _think_ I am. Maybe I'm just fooling myself.

Edit: What's even more interesting is that I then went to answer some more questions and found myself focussing on the times I _haven't_ been there for my friends, interested in their troubles, etc. and found that my agreeableness score plummeted. Which either means that self-assessment scores are notoriously vulnerable to situational variables or that I hadn't realised how callous I really am. Or, most likely, both.

Comments

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Bastard.

[communicator.livejournal.com]

My guess is that as an ENTP like me you prioritise saying what you mean over saying what is agreeable. It's a trait I have tried with some success to modulate but to be honest after a certain point I find I can't do it. I try to use truthful but respectful comments like 'that's an interesting perspective', because of course a person's own thoughts and beliefs are as vivid to them as mine are to me, but when that isn't enough, I don't find I have anywhere else to go but into 'disagreeable'.

[andrewducker]

There's probably a certain amount of that. But I do try very hard to phrase it as disagreement rather than attacks.

Doesn't help with some people though.

[cairmen.livejournal.com]

Self-assessment scores are stupidly, astonishingly vulnerable to situational variables. Ridiculously so.

(I recommend the book "Stumbling on Happiness" for more on this.)

[andrewducker]

Second person to recommend that in a week.

Been on my Amazon wishlist for about a year :->

[thishardenedarm.livejournal.com]

agreeablness certainly neednt having anything to do with been interested in other people (or not being), its more about how much you play nice. Strikes me you place more value on being right than on playing nice.

[andrewducker]

Heh. I've learned not to keep my mouth shut sometimes, but I can't open it and agree with something I disagree with. I generally prefer that in a trait in others too - otherwise I can't trust that when they say nice things they actually mean it. I know I'm in a minority on that one though.

[thishardenedarm.livejournal.com]

yeah, i think you've nailed your low A score right there. *Agree*-ableness: the clue's in the name :-)

[andrewducker]

Aha! I have a solution! I need friends that are right more often!

:->

[andrewducker]

Thinking about it further though - I never answered a question marked "How much do you agree with your friends, no matter how wrong they are?" - which still means that I answered "agreeableness" questions different to how my friends did, indicating that this is an area where my self-perception and their perception of me are significantly out of whack...