(no subject)

[andrewducker]

It is not uncommon to find oneself thinking such thoughts as "I can't stand
this" or "If only I didn't have to do this." As the psychologist Albert Ellis
notes, such thoughts frequently involve whining. In essence, we are acting
likebabies and whining about things "not being fair." One can continue to do
this if one choose, say Ellis. However, it is usually more efficient to simply
accep the fact that life is not always a bowl of cherries, stop whining, and
get on with the task.

Comments

absolutely

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

It's especially not fair when it was your own damn fault. Why can't I be an innocent victim? *sulk*

Re: absolutely

[andrewducker]

I notice you're still not telling us how you sprained your wrist...

Re: absolutely

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

When water started flooding out from underneath the sink, I got up too quickly to see why and over extended my already damaged wrist.
Then I over-wanked to calm down.

Re: absolutely

[andrewducker]

Aah, that would explain it.

And here was me blaming BF 1942.

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

The key word there is *frequently*. Not *all* such thoughts are whining. How many good computer systems have you personally constructed because you "can't stand" doing some task? I'll bet that there have been several (and I certainly have!).

In a related thought (which strangely enough nearly made onto my own journal today, but needs more work). My job (programmer) largely/often involves the automation of boring repetitve tasks in order to make them less so. I wonder whether the mental setup that makes me good at this is the same one that causes me trouble with tasks that never go away and cannot realistically be optimised. My misery (and whinging) at having to do the washing (washing up/tidying/cleaning my bike/filing my paperwork) *yet again* is probably more caused by my pain at failing to come up with some way to automate the task, thus reducing both the repetition and my own involvement in the task, than anything innately horrible in the task itself. (I'm aware that paper plates exist, and maids/valets etc. can be hired, but that seems a bit extreme for daily use).

For certain people, the inability to solve a problem (any problem) causes a lot of mental anguish. This is why maybe you should try not to unburden your problems on such people unless you want help in finding an actual practical solution. If you are just after hugs and sympathy, you are basically torturing the poor sod as their brain works away frantically trying to sort your life out for you. Of course I am have been on both ends of this equation!

In a connected thought, it does seem that the way to be happy (rather than unhappy) is to "do stuff" rather than "not do stuff" (ref "Happiness" by (David?) Lykken). This makes a huge difference(apparently), even where the "stuff done" isn't necessarily your favourite activities - ANY activity is better than none in staving off misery.

bloody hell I do go off-topic.....

[andrewducker]

Nope, that was entirely on-topic.

And I think you're correct - if whining does no good, then indulging yourself just means you wallow in self-pity, better to just muck in.

If whining does some good, then it's worth complaining to get changes made.

Have you considered a dish-washer?

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

I have had a dishwasher for years. Damned imperfect device - it doesn't go and collect the dirty dishes and load itself, not does it put the damn things away again. What kind of people do they have working for them :-) Of course, if I was a bloke, I might still have had an outside chance of finding a wife who was happy doing all that shit...