andrewducker | Emotional support

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I still find it odd, even after all this time, to be emotionally supporting someone.

I'm pretty much defined by my logicality and befuddlement at peoples emotions (even though I have them myself), and all the understanding I have is from hard work, observation and practice, it almost never comes naturally. So to find myself, again, being the person that provides the emotional support for someone in need is puzzling to me.

Surely there are people out there that are better at this kind of thing and have more intuitive understanding of what's necessary?

Surely it's obvious that I'm not ideal for this kind of 'work'.

So why does it keep happening to me?

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From:

rahaeli.livejournal.com

Probably because you listen to people, and offer them a point of view that they wouldn't otherwise have. I suspect that the first is more important than the second.

At least, that's my theory for why I keep being emotional support, as I have a tendency to be bluntly, baldly honest, and I won't put up with people feeding me bullshit and seeking sympathy. They don't get sympathy; they get answers. "Why don't people seem to like me?" is a very dangerous question to ask me.

But yeah: I know that of which you speak. :)

From:

andrewducker

You give solutions rather than emotional support?

Are you sure you're female?

I wish more people wanted answers rather than emotional support. I vastly prefer giving the former over the latter. I've gotten better at offering support thoughh, as I realised what people wanted.

From:

rahaeli.livejournal.com

I promise; I'm a chick. Sweartagod.

I just don't have any sympathy for people who just want pity without working on getting out of the situation that makes them need pity. Because dammit, I crawled out of a lot of bad situations in my time, completely on my own, you should be able to do it too.

Which means that 'emotional support' for me consists of a lot of nodding, a lot of smiling, a lot of physical or metaphorical patting on the hand, and after about 20 minutes, the zinger of the question that just puts it all into perspective. At least that's what I aim for. And no, people don't want the answers, but they by God get them anyway.

From: (Anonymous)

If you feel like Giving people emotional support, you haven't read "Reads" enough. Emotions are the enemy. You must give answers. Tell people to stop being so fucking stupid, and go and do something about it. Much better than 'there there, it'll all be OK.'

I'm in Ireland. Everything is not OK. I have no (good) friends, my work isn't nearly challenging enough, and I hate Studying. But I want the GOD DAMN MONEY, when I come back. So I'm doing it. The end. No emotional support asked for, and none given. And thank fuck, because that would fuck it all up.

Adam

From: (Anonymous)

Awwww Adam
everyone thinks you're great and wishes they were you.
Seriously, they told me so

Gordon

From: (Anonymous)

Me too. I was *so* sure I didn't even feel emotions, then suddenly I found myself being all emotionally supportive in some fairly... ummm... tense situations and being (I hope) good at it.

It happens because you're there at the right time and the right place and because walking away from some things takes effort. :-)

Or lying in bed and pretending none of it is happening ;-)