*sigh*

[andrewducker]

Now been defriended by prynne, which I guess solves the problem. Shame though, as I liked a lot of her writing, and we occasionally chatted over Yahoo in an enjoyable way.

I mean, the ideal solution to "I do not like your speech." is to then remove yourself from it, but that doesn't stop me wishing there was a way of fixing it.

*insert amateur psychological analysis of why I don't like to lose friends here*

(oh, and it took me about 45 seconds of scanning my icon list to find one I couldn't misinterpret in some way as being somehow a dig, offensive or otherwise unsuitable)

Comments

[trav28.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding like an arse, it isn't a great loss having her defriend you. It seems as if she kicked a linguistic anthill, couldn't take the pressure and left to "save face". It is a shame when this happens but I have had a couple of people like this on my reading list and I felt myself "self censoring" because of that. I tihnk if you have to defend something as basic as a so called "offensive" icon with that person you become a shadow of yourself and you hold back. It is your journal afterall, not hers and you have the entitlement to say (within societal constraints of course, but that's a whole different discourse) what you damn well want to.

That post you made earlier angered me so much - (not anger directed at you) but the whole language "fascism" that came out of the original post. If you conform every aspect of your life, every minor detail for other people you become like a stick of bamboo in the wind.

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. But it's the cost of being true to yourself, which is more important in the scheme of things.

At least it was a substantive issue. I got unfriended the other day because I pointed out it's somewhat insensitive to start a post with two huge Harry Potter spoilers. I don't even like HP that much...

[andrewducker]

People defriended you over _that_???

Bloody Hell. I give up.

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

I was actually really nice about it, despite the post starting with 'X falls in love with Y and Z dies'.

[avatar.livejournal.com]

pyrnne, no :(

[poisonduk.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I'm considering defriending you because you wear odd socks.

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Now that there's fighting talk.

Odd socks are the cement of spiritual freedom!

[poisonduk.livejournal.com]

Odd socks are also the sign of too ruddy lazy to spend time pairing socks, which is the reality with Andy. I reckon he'd manage about 5 minutes in a relationship with me before he'd run as soon as he discovered my underwear was sorted by colours and arranged in a constant rotation cycle so all are worn equally

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Laziness would be all black socks so nobody could tell if they were odd or not. Visibly odd socks requires deliberately wearing distinctive socks. A sign of a more distinguished character if ever there was one.

As for your underwear drawer, *fear*. Apart from anything else, if you wear all your underwear evenly, it'll all wear out at the same time. Think of the lump-sum panty cost of that!

[kashandara.livejournal.com]

Only if you bulk bought all of it at the same time. Theoretically you could set up a system of buying one complete set of underwear every two weeks and thus eventually run into a system whereby you also wore out a complete set every two weeks (assuming all items of underwear wear out at an equal pace I suppose...)

[guyinahat.livejournal.com]

Y'know, it's times like this that I'm glad I dont have breasts 'n' all that stuff.

Much better to apply the bachelor method. Just wear the same pair for two weeks, then chuck 'em out and replace.

[andrewducker]

Odd socks are also the sign of too ruddy lazy to spend time pairing socks,

This, to me, is like saying "Naked noses are a sign of too ruddy lazy to spend time painting your nose."

Which is to say that my natural response is to say "What?????"

[kurosau.livejournal.com]

I didn't get a chance to read every comment in your original thread, but there's one thing I thought to say.

There's lowering your language to the point where it can't be misinterpreted, and there's understanding that as written online, people rarely get the tone of what you say correct.

Also, to clarify before I begin, although I use some mildly insulting language, I'm only pointing this out as a statement on linguistics. I'm not suggesting that you're a bad person, or you've done anything wrong.

So, in that light, I'd say that although you're free to do it, it is foolish to expect that people are going to stumble on the right answer to the question, "Does he really mean what he says in that icon?"

I personally don't object. But I do think that you take your words in your hands with such a comment. It isn't because other people can't be bothered to interpret your language correctly, but rather that such a statement is hard to interpret online. Here, we lack sarcasm and tone to defend our behavior.

[spaj.livejournal.com]

While what he says (hi) is absolutely correct, the tone of his post (hi, I don't know you, so you're third person) points the blame at you.

This is your Journal. You don't have a duty to post nice things. If all you did was post pictures of kittens, you'd be in a kitten-posting community where everyone loved everyone, and no one's was intellectually stimulated (offensive to kitten-posters. Tough!)

Equally, she (the cats mother) doesn't have an obligation to like what you say or agree with it.

I should say that you've been through this before Andy, in a number of guises. I would be very strongly sticking to my guns over it, but that's me. You're questioning the world whether you're wrong. But one of the things I've learned from you is quite specifically that morals are completely subjective.

Got to go kill some terrorists.

Adam

[kurosau.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm not really blaming him for anything. I'm just trying to point out that assuming that someone will understand the tone of your post doesn't work.

[cx650.livejournal.com]

I now feel free to make my withheld comment.

Never argue with a moron! They will drag you down to their level and beat you with exprience.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

Do you mean that prynne is a moron, or Andy? Because neither one is, they're both lovely and in no way moronic.

[cx650.livejournal.com]

I meant to cast no aspertions on personalities, merely an item of behaviour. I believe Andrew did everything in his power to clarify.

[awdrey-gore.livejournal.com]

Let me get this straight... She defriended you over an icon that at its core was not particularly offensive? Wow... That's lame. I read her journal once and while her entries were interesting, if this is how she behaves over an icon, I'm not sure you should mourn her.

I can say this, Andrew: If I did not defriend you after realizing you are indeed a dead ringer for Richard Reid, the silliest terrorist ever, nothing you say will get rid of me. Go ahead, say you hate kittens and it will totally be water off a duck's back!