Life with two kids: death

[andrewducker]

Two days ago Sophia told us her thoughts about death. She had clearly thought about it a lot, worked through various things, and come to some interesting conclusions.

Unfortunately she told us all of this in front of Gideon, who has now spent two days bursting into tears intermittently and telling us he doesn't want to die.

I'm sure he'll also work through it, but in the meantime it's hard not to feel sorry for him. I suspect that starting school in two weeks and being away from home for a week aren't helping, as he's also intermittently telling us he wants to be back home.

Comments

[juan_gandhi]

Oh. How familiar. My kids did discuss whether it's painful to die... etc. Horrible.

[channelpenguin]

Gosh, I don't recall thinking about death in any detailed way until I was at least 12, maybe older. But in my teens, we all fully expected to die in a nuclear holocaust and used to say we were glad to be in a town that was a target so at least we'd die in a direct hit and not have to try to survive in the aftermath.

I still don't care about MY death, much less than being physically or mentally suffering or incapable for any length of time. The fact that my beloved wee cat will die (or get seriously hurt or ill) is something that I have to blank out or I'd go insane from fear and dread. Also that I might die first and leave him alone, or in worse circumstances, though my bf is charged with moving here and keeping the house and gardens in that case. Sigh. I was absolutely right never to have children. That must be 10x worse.

[andrewducker]

I certainly avoid thinking about it if I possibly can.

[splodgenoodles]

Oh poor Gideon! I remember getting very confused and upset about it all.

[mountainkiss]

I don’t want to alarm you but I am not sure I’m out of this phase and I’ll be 54 in about six weeks.

[andrewducker]

I think that some background fear of death is very normal. Drawback of being able to understand things is that you can see the inevitable coming.

But hopefully it will mostly fade into the background. Mine has, especially since the kids keep me busy. If not then we'll look into what will help.

[mellowtigger]

I'm not a good choice for parenting advice, but maybe it would be a useful avenue toward discussion by trying the Jung "white room" test? I remember when a classmate in high school asked the questions of some of us in the journalism room. I was the only one who didn't have answers related to fear, but instead to curiosity/investigation. I was in my late teens by that time, though.

[cellio]

Oh dear. I hope it ends up not being too traumatic for him!

[andrewducker]

I'm sure it will bed in after a while and become part of his mental furniture.