Andys hints and tips for drug usage

[andrewducker]

1) It is possible that you will meet God while tripping. It is vitally important that you get his phone number, so that you can phone back the next day and make sure it was actually Him.
2) When the UFO's come down and offer to take you away to their homeworld remember that spaceships aren't generally reported to have blue flashing lights on top. The ones on top of police cars, on the other hand, are.
3) People can't actually tell you're tripping just because you're smiling an awful lot. Stopping passing cars to proclaim yourself King of the Potato People is, however, a dead giveaway.
4) Your drugs are on the inside of your head, other people's are on the inside of theirs. It's possible you might be able to explain your new theory of quantum socks to someone tripping with you, but let's just say it's unlikely.
5) Some people aren't tripping at all. While it's also possible that these people are in fact gagging to hear the intricate details of quantum sock theory, it's more likely that, as it's 4am, they'd rather be asleep.

Any suggestions from the floor?

Comments

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to worry me here??

[missedith01.livejournal.com]

I'm not tripping and I'd actually really like to hear about quantum sock theory. Does this make me odd?

[andrewducker]

Nope, I'm trying to worry you somewhere else entirely.

I can tell you worrying drug experiences if you like tho...

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

fair do's, at the moment on long stories it's about 12: 1 in my favour.. as long as they don't involve too much vomiting - I can't be doing with that..

Hey you could bring Desperado on Saturday..?

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

Presumably that as soon as one sock is observed it is physically impossible for the other of the pair to inhabit the same space. No?

[seidl.livejournal.com]

While you maybe absolutely convinced of your ability to leap tall buildings and stop moving cars, its better to start with much smaller tests like leaping a brick or stopping a moving skateboard.

No matter how attractive the person looks at the moment, in the morning they will probably look like your funny cousin (the one no one will talk about in polite company).

If you have trouble counting how much you've had, you've had to much. Heck, if you're worried about counting, you've had too much.

'Blue is pretty' is not a good reason to eat or swallow something.

[ladysisyphus.livejournal.com]

I was taught that the quantum sock theory has to do with a professor who wears two different coloured socks, and that there's no way to determine what the second sock is even if you can observe the first. I wish I could remember that theory. Or the professor's name.

Or, alternately, socks!

[themongkey.livejournal.com]

As the age of a pair of socks increases, the probability that one of the socks will decay in the washing machine into a handkerchief and some fluff tends towards one.

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

Any suggestions from the floor?</I? No, I think you pretty well covered the main points...

[andrewducker]

I shall bring the Banderas with me.

And very few of my stories involve vomiting.

Although I've just remembered two vaguely amusing ones that do.

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I shall wear a paper bag.

I have an album by the banderas - bet you don't remember them. (I only just did.)

He really does look like this guy I teach with./... siIIIGHHH!!!

[andrewducker]

Oooh, Antonio.

I'll fight you for him :->

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

Stone paper scissors?

[andrewducker]

I'll take the scissors, what are you taking?

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

Well,like the stone, duh.

(Are you on drugs already?)

[andrewducker]

Right, now we've chosen weapons, prepare to die!

En Garde

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

But, like scissors.

Hulk (stone) smash.

Where's the suspense?

[andrewducker]

Ha! My pointy scissors have more range than your feeble rock.

I shall strike you down before you can swing your pathetic rock!

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

But.. but.. that's against the rules.. I'm a lawyer I am.. protests feebly as skewered a la Salma Hayek..

and ...

[josephgrossberg.livejournal.com]

Any suggestions from the floor?

6) Get your CDs, stereo, posters, trinkets, snacks, water, video games, pen and paper, etc. set up beforehand.
7) Moving from room to room every so often (and changing around who's in each room) can make the experience more varied and interesting.
8) Turn off your phone's ringer.
9) Make sure you're in a good frame of mind before you start your trip.

Most importantly:

10) Don't light candles if you have a clumsy, long-haired cat. (He wasn't hurt, but it was scary and smelled like shit.)

[andrewducker]

Rules? What rules? I don't remember agreeing to any rules.

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

You impliedly agreed when you clicked on this page with your mouse :)

[andrewducker]

I'm not actually using a mouse :-P

[green-amber.livejournal.com]

What are you using? A rat?

[andrewducker]

Trackball.

Saves on deskspace and arm movement.

And it glows.

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

That just sounds like life to me.

As I recall, the last time we were in such a state together we didn't do very much except admire scenery. (Which was very good by the way). I've been known to sing to sheep, who don't seem to mind and are so dippy anyway that they peobably think that it's normal.

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

hee hee. Andy, I do believe you are flirting :-)