Interesting Links for 13-08-2022

[andrewducker]

1. The baseline that women will accept from a relationship is rising. Men need to skill up if they don't want to stay single

(tags:relationships happiness communication )

2. The unlikely origin of the name "Fiona"

(tags:names viaSwampers history Scotland transgender )

3. Samsung is above the law in South Korea

(tags:Korea Samsung law corruption )

4. Adventurers and dragons and gold, oh my!

(tags:funny blockchain fantasy dungeonsanddragons dragons )

5. Just how good is green screen work nowadays?

(tags:cgi animation video viaPatrickHadfield )

6. The UK cannot leave the ECHR without breaching the Good Friday Agreement

(tags:UK NorthernIreland rights Europe )

Comments

[calimac]

4) Very amusing, but I'd like to observe that this very point is raised seriously more than once in regard to Smaug's hoard in Tolkien's The Hobbit. When the dwarves complain that Bilbo only stole one cup, he crossly replies, "I am sure it reflects great credit on your grandfather, but you cannot pretend that you ever made the vast extent of his wealth clear to me. I should want hundreds of years to bring it all up, if I was fifty times as big, and Smaug as tame as a rabbit." And in Farmer Giles of Ham, Giles is careful to take no more of the dragon's hoard than he can make the beast carry, and leave enough so that the dragon can retain his dignity and not become Giles's enemy.

[andrewducker]

Some authors think these things through :-)

[cmcmck]

Fiona appears in James MacPherson's 'Ossian' in the 18th century long before that (admittedly interesting) story and it was old even then. It simply means white and fair. It's related to my Italian blog name, Chiara.

[zz]

#1 - so i should just kill myself now and be done with it.

[andrewducker]

You're smart, you can learn skills.

[dewline]

After all, you're present here.

[channelpenguin]

Could you imagine a life full of things to keep you occupied and at least somewhat engaged? And maybe even good friends to do them with? It's not the same but I found in my single phases that it passes the time well enough.

[zz]

oh, i'm *great* at filling time. to the point i don't do anything else, even basic self-care stuff as much as i should. (i occasionally wonder about trying for an adhd diagnosis...)
doesn't mean it's particularly satisfying when i take a step back.

but to address the more general idea, because for me singledom is a few months shy of my whole adult life, and the gaping wound in my lifelong insecurity, substitutes are unignorably still just that, even if they are a pleasant distraction at the time. and being around friends who are in couples is always partly a reminder of what i don't and can't have.

[channelpenguin]

I've mostly been in relationships, with a few years of singledom. There's advantages / disadvantages either way and the wrong relationships have left me at times wrecked to the point of also neglecting self care (and worse).

Frankly, by this time, I'd say the financial and practical elements of partnership, of sharing a life, are vastly the most important than anything else (and, oddly, in my last-8-years-relationship there's way, way less of that ... ). So, if you still have hope, look for a good match there as a necessity. But I'm not emotionally "normal" plus damage plus learned self-preservation!

PS - I am STILL, and have always had to do doing all the "filling time" things to stay sane - often alone, even when in relationships!

[andrewducker]

I've been thinking about this. And I don't see any reason why you couldn't have it. I mean, you're not perfect, but nobody is, and tons of terrible people end up in relationships.

I think that a good start would be to have some serious conversations with your counsellor, and then possibly with a female friend or three who you trust to be blunt with you about things, to see what they think might help.

I'm curious how much you've put yourself out there to see if there's anyone who might be the right cup of tea for.

[dewline]

6. I am inclined to think that breaching the Good Friday Agreement is a desired goal, right along with leaving ECHR, for the Brexiteers. To no kind or useful ends, I'm absolutely certain.

[cmcmck]

What I find puzzling is that the ECtHR is NOT an EU organisation but a pan European one and an awful lot of people don't seem to get this!

[dewline]

The Brexiteers do not care about that distinction, as the institution's existence still prevents the crimes against humanity they want to get away with.

[cmcmck]

Yup!

It was the organisation that finally gave me the same human rights as everyone else back in 2004.

[bens_dad]

#1 That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap.
I hadn't realized that therapy was about training.

I suspect that many such men (I was one for a long time) live and work in environments where such skills are rarely observed and difficult to practice.

[andrewducker]

Certainly the counseling I've done has given me skills. I wouldn't qualify it as training, per se, but I could see it as "self-understanding training" for what it did for me.

[zz]

i wish my therapist was a bit more interactive. she's great for having someone to discharge brain static at, and occasionally gently nudges and prods, but it'd be nice to get more actionable stuff.

but re possible adhd mentioned above, my sessions are mostly just me unloading 50 mins of mental tangents a la https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b1FPi4qzCY

[andrewducker]

Might be time to talk to a specialist!