Pleased to meet you, I'm dad

[andrewducker]

It's only recently that I've realised that the reason that there are "dad jokes" with the structure "I'm hungry. - Pleased to meet you Hungry, I'm dad." is not because dads are determined to annoy their children but because children phrase everything as a statement about their, well, state.

I've had long conversations about how Sophia can turn her internal state ("I'm hungry.") into a request ("Dad, can I have something to eat please.") to very little effect. If she feels something then we are informed, and then it's up to us to solve the issue rather than her to formulate some kind of solution and bring *that* to us.

Clearly I'm far too demanding of a four year old, but I do at least understand now why dads resort, after a while, to annoying their children in return, in the vain hope that it might work where discussion has failed.

Comments

[gingicat]

I think you've put your finger on how Hint Culture overtakes Ask Culture.

[andrewducker]

It's all the fault of the children?

[gingicat]

It's developmentally appropriate to children, and some adults either never develop the Ask habit or grew up with people who had the Hint habit.

[andrewducker]

I've known people who were terribly "Guess", and they almost always come from homes where having your own needs and stating them out loud in a direct manner is punished.

[snippy]

Does "not having those needs met but instead being compelled to listen to a joke" count as punishment?

I mean, when I'm hungry I don't want a discourse on the amusement factors of how I stated it. And kids usually can't identify their feelings in their body until they're urgent (hence the difficulty of potty training).

My approach was to say "I'm really glad you told me that so we can get you something to eat!" And, of course, to model the behavior I wanted to see - at a different time from the hunger, blatantly say "I'm going to be hungry at noon like always. What shall I have to eat? Do I need to do anything to prepare that now?"