andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2012-11-26 11:00 am
andrewducker) wrote2012-11-26 11:00 am
Entry tags:
- abortion,
- advice,
- cats,
- computers,
- death,
- desalination,
- environment,
- epicfail,
- food,
- funny,
- goodnews,
- hacking,
- immortality,
- industrial,
- israel,
- jms,
- life,
- links,
- lotr,
- machinima,
- makeup,
- misogyny,
- money,
- movies,
- music,
- palestine,
- people,
- police,
- pornography,
- privacy,
- psychology,
- relationships,
- sex,
- solarpower,
- spotify,
- startrek,
- technology,
- texas,
- thehobbit,
- toilets,
- usa,
- vianeilrodger,
- water,
- women
Interesting Links for 26-11-2012
- Growing food in the desert through solar-powered desalination
- Female porn stars are psychologically as healthy or healthier than other women
- All-Glass Bathrooms Debut in Texas Town. (I'd feel odd the first few times I used one)
- Making a Vibrator That Listens to Your Body (damned impressive hacking here)
- Nanotech that can turn icy water into steam - very handy for purification.
- The results of the first longitudinal study of what happens to women denied abortions.
- On Misogyny in Industrial Music
- The Lord Of The Rings, told in two minutes, using TF2.
- How much money is anyone making from streaming music, and where does the money go?
- Israel and Hamas predict different result from doing same thing
- Cat Owner Problems (a tumblr)
- The JMS Star Trek reboot that never was.
- Shredded (but legible) police papers used as confetti in Macy's Parade
- How to avoid problem people (I know several people who could really have benefited from this)
- How would you change your life if you were going to live forever?
- How would you change your life if you knew you were going to die in five years?
- The Hobbit's amazing transformations - before/after makeup for the main characters
- No more upgrades: Intel to stop making swappable chips
- The world is (mostly) getting better; we just don't realize it.
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People with other mental issues are likely to get a bit of short shrift. But this isn't about supporting others - this is a guide for people who find they consistently surround themselves with people who make their life worse, and need to find a way to find their way out of that.
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I think the "specifically" in that sentence is in the wrong place. The only specific mention of Aspies is in that paragraph, but a huge amount of the rest of the article mentions behaviours that Aspies, among others, can be prone to. However, since the article mentions them more often, and since it is a category I also fall into, replace "aspies" in my original comment with "abuse victims". Will you now accept what I say? And will you accept that telling people to avoid abuse victims, which she specifically does several times, is not necessarily the most helpful thing to do?
She even spends a lot of time telling people not to be "rescuers" - because heaven knows being a selfish dismissive prick will make you much happier than actually helping people who need help.
"this isn't about supporting others - this is a guide for people who find they consistently surround themselves with people who make their life worse"
Neurotypical privelege is being able to seperate those things out and treat them as TOTALLY DIFFERENT when they are in fact, two sides of the same coin. People tend to gravitate to people similar to themselves; this means many people who surround themselves with people who need help are going to need help themselves - and they are going to read that article, like I did, and feel guilty for being a burden upon their friends and family, and feel less able to communicate with their friends and family as a result.
The whole thing basically reads like a big long excuse for hurting people. Clearly your mileage did vary.
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Edit: And speaking of your abuse example - I've seen good friends messed up badly because they attempted to throw infinite effort into helping someone, offering them leeway after excuse because that person had been abused, and that was enough to excuse appalling behaviour. Again, societally we should be helping people, but that doesn't mean that on an individual level we need to give people a get out of jail free card because of bad things that happened to them.
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I'm part of the Personality Disorder Project in Edinburgh which is trying to change the way Personality Disorder (PD) is viewed in general. We've even teamed up with one of the mental health nursing courses at Napier University to better educate their third year students.
My condition makes me question every thought and feeling I have and I had to ask my boyfriend if he thought I was over-reacting after someone of my friends commented on my Facebook post. He's usually the first person to tell me if I am over-reacting or have gotten the wrong end of the stick or misunderstood something and as a result I trust what he says. He agrees with me on this. He thinks the way the article is worded is harmful and especially stigmatising to those with PD. And that was just the introduction!
The author of the article could have left out all the stuff on mental illness and I would not have had such a big problem with it until I read your comments. I don't have much experience with autism or aspergers so I never thought about the article from that perspective. Thinking back on it, yes it does also read as "how to isolate aspies".
In another comment you said
I completely agree with you on this. That bothered me too but I was so incensed by the PD stuff that I forgot about it. I'd like to thank you for pointing it out as I knew there were other things that were bugging me but I haven't had the emotional spoons to go back to find them.
It's comforting to know that I'm not the only person who finds the phrase "I think you might be reading too much into this" and its ilk triggering. The whole "I'm normal, you're abnormal (mentally ill/autistic/aspergers etc) and we're disagreeing so you must be wrong" happens fairly often in my experience. Yes I see some things differently but when it comes to things that are blatantly hurtful I think I know what I'm on about.
I hope this comment makes sense. I often struggle to put things into words and my writing comes across as terse and cold and detached when I don't want it to.
Long comment short - I'm agreeing with you.
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