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Feb. 21st, 2003
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2003 03:06 pmI really don't know why I do it. Or rather, I do know why I do it, but that doesn't seem to help.
Eating sweet things fucks me up. I feel fidgety, I can't concentrate, my attention span goes down (yes, even further). Coming off of sugar puts me into days of cravings and grumpiness. I don't feel like doing anything and nothing seems like very much fun.
I've managed 6 months of no sugar before, where I controlled my diet and kept myself balanced and happy. I slept better, thought better and felt better. I was definitely happier.
So why the hell have I not been doing this recently? What is it that makes me think "Oh, one chocolate bar won't matter?".
Gah!
Eating sweet things fucks me up. I feel fidgety, I can't concentrate, my attention span goes down (yes, even further). Coming off of sugar puts me into days of cravings and grumpiness. I don't feel like doing anything and nothing seems like very much fun.
I've managed 6 months of no sugar before, where I controlled my diet and kept myself balanced and happy. I slept better, thought better and felt better. I was definitely happier.
So why the hell have I not been doing this recently? What is it that makes me think "Oh, one chocolate bar won't matter?".
Gah!
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2003 09:06 pmErin just had to give me a large hug while I stopped shaking.
We'd wandered into the living room as part of Operation "Clear all this shit up and get it out of boxes" when she grabbed me, twieled me round to face away from the wall and said "Don't look."
Which instantly told me there was a spider on the wall. So I (semi) calmly replied "I'll stare into space while you deal with it."
"I can't" she said.
Which told me that it was bloody huge.
So I turned around and it was tiny. By Bird-Eating-Spider standards, that is. This thing couldn't have eaten anything larger than a sparrow. A bluebird at most. Maybe a raven if it snuck up on it.
So we debated who was going to get rid of it. "Can't we phone Jen or Sana?" was Erin's suggestion, but I vetoed that on the grounds that they live an hour away.
She stood, holding a glass, staring at the spider for over a minute. It was perched about 6 and a half feet up the wall. "I'm scared that if I go for it, it'll fall on me." Great, more images for me.
So I bravely walked up to it, plopped a pint glass over it and slid cardboard underneath it. It calmly took this, obviously waiting to make its move. I knew that it could rush along the side of the edge-turned glass and (in my fear-crazed mind) smash through, leaping onto my hand.
I turned the glass over and it rushed to the side, thwarted by gravity and slippery surfaces. I offered Erin the chance to get a closer look at it, but she didn't seem to be very interested. "Throw it out the window!!!" was, I believe, her expression of disinterest.
So it went flying, the window was swiftly shut and Erin gave me a large hug.
At which point I demanded to be rewarded for my bravery by being allowed to write a journal entry about it.
And there you have it, the tale of Brave Andy and the Killer Spider.
We'd wandered into the living room as part of Operation "Clear all this shit up and get it out of boxes" when she grabbed me, twieled me round to face away from the wall and said "Don't look."
Which instantly told me there was a spider on the wall. So I (semi) calmly replied "I'll stare into space while you deal with it."
"I can't" she said.
Which told me that it was bloody huge.
So I turned around and it was tiny. By Bird-Eating-Spider standards, that is. This thing couldn't have eaten anything larger than a sparrow. A bluebird at most. Maybe a raven if it snuck up on it.
So we debated who was going to get rid of it. "Can't we phone Jen or Sana?" was Erin's suggestion, but I vetoed that on the grounds that they live an hour away.
She stood, holding a glass, staring at the spider for over a minute. It was perched about 6 and a half feet up the wall. "I'm scared that if I go for it, it'll fall on me." Great, more images for me.
So I bravely walked up to it, plopped a pint glass over it and slid cardboard underneath it. It calmly took this, obviously waiting to make its move. I knew that it could rush along the side of the edge-turned glass and (in my fear-crazed mind) smash through, leaping onto my hand.
I turned the glass over and it rushed to the side, thwarted by gravity and slippery surfaces. I offered Erin the chance to get a closer look at it, but she didn't seem to be very interested. "Throw it out the window!!!" was, I believe, her expression of disinterest.
So it went flying, the window was swiftly shut and Erin gave me a large hug.
At which point I demanded to be rewarded for my bravery by being allowed to write a journal entry about it.
And there you have it, the tale of Brave Andy and the Killer Spider.
I've lost all my meaning
Feb. 21st, 2003 10:24 pmThis has been my overarching problem for about 10 years:
I can't find any meaning in anything. And don't give me that shit about creating my own meaning. What's the point of playing a game if you're just going to make up the rules yourself, aside from proving that you can win?
From here. And no, there isn't an answer there.
I can't find any meaning in anything. And don't give me that shit about creating my own meaning. What's the point of playing a game if you're just going to make up the rules yourself, aside from proving that you can win?
From here. And no, there isn't an answer there.
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2003 10:48 pmWinning the award for most useful tiny program in recent history is Run It.
It's very, very simple - choose a side of the screen and when you right click on that edge, it gives you a popup of links/programs to launch. It doesn't display a bar, it doesn't get in the way, all it does is launch programs.
Fantastic stuff.
It's very, very simple - choose a side of the screen and when you right click on that edge, it gives you a popup of links/programs to launch. It doesn't display a bar, it doesn't get in the way, all it does is launch programs.
Fantastic stuff.
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2003 11:25 pmYou'd think that giving trailers out for free was somehow a bad thing...
Apple.com/trailers houses some absolutely fantastic trailers. You can watch them for free, of course, because trailers are basically advertising. But largely, you can't actually download them and give them to your friends to watch. You have to stream them and watch them live.
It used to be that looking at the source HTML for a page made it obvious what the actual file you were downloading was, so you could download it with getright (or something similar) and watch it whenever you felt like it (or copy it to a CD and give it to a friend). But then Apple realised people were doing that and were then downloading the video without viewing the glory that is apple.com. So now, when you go to the trailer page, the page points you at a .mov (i.e. a quicktime movie file), but that .mov merely contains a command telling quicktime where to find the actual file.
Bugger, you might think, that means I can't find the file's direct link. And you'd be kinda right.
You see, every time something gets downloaded over the internet, it's because a HTTP (HyperText Transport Protocol) message gets sent from your computer to a server. The message says "send me this file". The server then sends you that file. Now, some people don't have direct connections to the internet (if, for instance, they're inside a corporation) so they use proxy servers. The way these work is that your computer asks the proxy server for the file, the proxy server asks the web server for the file, the web server passes it to the proxy and the proxy passes it on to your computer.
And if you go and download a free proxy server, you can install it on your machine, tell Internet Explorer you want to use the proxy to connect to the internet, start downloading the movie, cancel the download, check the logs to see what file was actually being requested and then use _that_ information to get Getright to download the file.
And that's why, whenever a new trailer gets mentioned on Slashdot, someone posts the direct link about 3 minutes later.
And that's how I have a copy of the new X2 trailer on my hard drive right now, even though Apple doesn't want me to.
Apple.com/trailers houses some absolutely fantastic trailers. You can watch them for free, of course, because trailers are basically advertising. But largely, you can't actually download them and give them to your friends to watch. You have to stream them and watch them live.
It used to be that looking at the source HTML for a page made it obvious what the actual file you were downloading was, so you could download it with getright (or something similar) and watch it whenever you felt like it (or copy it to a CD and give it to a friend). But then Apple realised people were doing that and were then downloading the video without viewing the glory that is apple.com. So now, when you go to the trailer page, the page points you at a .mov (i.e. a quicktime movie file), but that .mov merely contains a command telling quicktime where to find the actual file.
Bugger, you might think, that means I can't find the file's direct link. And you'd be kinda right.
You see, every time something gets downloaded over the internet, it's because a HTTP (HyperText Transport Protocol) message gets sent from your computer to a server. The message says "send me this file". The server then sends you that file. Now, some people don't have direct connections to the internet (if, for instance, they're inside a corporation) so they use proxy servers. The way these work is that your computer asks the proxy server for the file, the proxy server asks the web server for the file, the web server passes it to the proxy and the proxy passes it on to your computer.
And if you go and download a free proxy server, you can install it on your machine, tell Internet Explorer you want to use the proxy to connect to the internet, start downloading the movie, cancel the download, check the logs to see what file was actually being requested and then use _that_ information to get Getright to download the file.
And that's why, whenever a new trailer gets mentioned on Slashdot, someone posts the direct link about 3 minutes later.
And that's how I have a copy of the new X2 trailer on my hard drive right now, even though Apple doesn't want me to.